As some of you might know, I used to ride quite a bit. I took lessons for about 4 years I think. I got scared away from it after I bad fall (I was thrown into a wall and hurt my back..) then I did get curage to go back, and 2 lessons after I fell again. So as stupid as it sounds, it totally ruined my confidence in riding and I stopped completely. It's been like 2-3 years since I've ridden and I miss it SO much. Then again, I'm super nervous abou riding as well. I don't think it would be worth it if I broke something or ended up like Christifer Reive (sp) or whatever his name is..you know, superman.

Anyway. I've been telling myself to go back to the barn for a very long time but I talk myself out of it everytime. Well, tonight, I just kinda went there, went in, and started to talk with my old instructer. I watched a couple of lessons, andit made me miss it even more.

One other thing I should say. I am probably the BIGGEST worry wort in the world. I get very nervous about silly things I shouldn't. I have little to no confidence in myself. With that said, it makes it hard for me to get on the horse and not be scared..and I'm sure you know that doesn't help the horse. They can sense it, and usually it bothers them. (Atleast the last few times I rode and was nervous it spooked the horse)

What should I do? I'm thinking I'm gonna go try a couple lessons, and if it doesn't work then I probably am not ment ot be a rider. I wish I didn't care about pain and being hurt I know it's so stupid, but I HATE pain and the thought of it scares me (Which is weird, cause if/after I get injured, I'm completely fine with it..it's just the though of getting hurt that scares me I think..not actually BEING hurt. Well that and I don't feel like dying.

I asked my friend who told me for a while she wants to try riding. I asked her if she'd go with me, so maybeif she does it will make me go. Maybe I'll get back into to...

I'm going to start western. I rode english for a couple years and even did jumping. It's probably the only thing I can say I was ever good at (which is weird cause I suck at everything)

Ok enough of my rambling about how much of a coward I am I hope you don't think I'm some moron cause I got scared away from a couple of falls..I'm not like that with everything. It's just I rode for like 4 years with never falling (I've been bucked and that but I never fell. My instructer said Midnight was the worse any of his horses ever got in situations like that and was suprised I didn't fall..I guess I had so much willpower NOT to fall God how sad...)