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Thread: Man vs Woman !!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Modesto, Ca
    Posts
    6,769

    Man vs Woman !!!

    I am way to tired to remove all the little forward arrows, I'm sorry! But it's funny! I hope you get a kick out of it. -Tonya


    > (Talk about being stuck between a rock & a hard spot...) This is for all
    > the MEN in the audience...! -
    >
    > >If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
    > >race...you're a male chauvinist.
    > >
    > >If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.
    > >
    > >If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
    > >
    > >If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
    > >
    > >If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
    > >
    > >If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
    > >your
    > >lazy behind and find something better.
    > >
    > >If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
    > >
    > >If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.
    > >
    > >If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
    > >
    > >If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.
    > >
    > >If you cry............you're a wimp.
    > >
    > >If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.
    > >
    > >If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a
    chauvinist.
    > >
    > >If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
    > >woman.
    > >
    > >If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's
    domination.
    > >
    > >If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.
    > >
    > >If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
    > >pervert.
    > >
    > >If you don't..............you're gay.
    > >
    > >If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
    shape..............you're
    > >sexist.
    > >
    > >If you don't.................you're unromantic.
    > >
    > >If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
    > >
    > >If you don't................you're a slob.
    > >
    > >If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
    > >
    > >If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.
    > >
    > >If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.
    > >
    > >If you don't....................you're not ambitious.
    > >
    > >If she has a headache............she's tired.
    > >
    > >If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
    > >
    > >If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
    > >
    > >If you don't..........there must be someone else.
    > >
    > >Men die first because they want to.


    Thank you Wolfie!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
    Posts
    5,207
    If she has a headache............she's tired.
    If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.


    My hubbie will love that one!!!

    ROTFL...... !!!

    Thanks - that all brought a smile at the end of a very long day!
    M!
    "No dog is born either vicious or friendly, but rather a blank slate that is moulded, for better or worse, by the owner."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,385
    Good one! LOL! Sorry to laugh but I use to be married to man that thought women were a lower form of life.

    I have a nice understanding guy now. I hope he doesn't feel like the person that wrote that.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Middle TN, United States
    Posts
    8,319
    If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
    If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

    Those are so funny!

    Thank You, kittycats_delight for my new siggy!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Land of the Ducks...quack!
    Posts
    7,007
    I'm glad I don't think that way...glad the hubby doesn't either!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,827
    My husband says "*belch* it might be true." I married one of the charming ones who think body noises are funny

    Very funny... I read them all to my hubby.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    Those were great!

    Catnapper,

    My husband says "*belch* it might be true." I married one of the charming ones who think body noises are funny
    Your hubby sounds like a real keeper!! The only one I have to love me, keep me warm at night who also enjoys body noises has 4 legs, a tail and no fur...Moo!!!

    Does hubby have any single friends???

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,827
    Originally posted by moosmom
    Those were great!

    Catnapper,



    Your hubby sounds like a real keeper!! The only one I have to love me, keep me warm at night who also enjoys body noises has 4 legs, a tail and no fur...Moo!!!

    Does hubby have any single friends???
    LOL! He's really sweet, just a little rough around the edges. What do you expect from a country boy? He grew up in a trailer on a chicken farm!!! Remember "My Big Fat Obnoxious Finacee?" Thats my hubby... only he's a bit more sophisticated than the show. My family was not thrilled with him, that is until they really got to know him. My mom's original statement about him was "I love him because you do" which has changed a lot in the past few years! My brother and his wife never visited us in our home because they probably thought he'd be walking around in a wife-beater tee and scratching himself. When they finally did (after 2 years) They sat here and gushed about how accomodating he was. How sweet and wonderful he is... really, they were absolutely amazed he wasn't a complete social failure!

    I consider myself very lucky to find my diamond in the rough. He makes me laugh and has a heart bigger than all outdoors.

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