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Thread: I'm writing a story too!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
    Posts
    2,779

    I'm writing a story too!

    ok, i've never written a story before...so i'm not sure how good it will be. but here it is. BTW it doesn't have a title yet so you if you think of anything....

    “At least look at it sweetheart…please?”
    my mother could beg and plead all she wanted, but I knew I would never like this place. My father on the other hand couldn’t care less if I looked at it or liked it; he just wanted to get as far away from me as possible. I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Immediately I turned back opening the door to let Jordan, my loyal Great Dane, out with me.
    I could see girls peering out from behind curtains, and doors trying to get a better look at me, two women came out to greet us, they shook my parents’ hands and offered it to me but I just rolled eyes and went to get my bags out of the trunk. Jordan was already exploring, he was the only reason I even agreed to come to this stupid place, he was my---“hello Edra, I am Mrs. Calloor, your therapist. I’m sure you will like it here eventually” She snorted a little, “They all do. Now please hurry, dinner will be starting soon.”
    She had a curtness from which I could tell she didn’t really care if I like it here or not. I followed her and the other woman inside, glancing at the old wooden, cracked sign above the ancient oak doors. It read “All girls Reformatory School”.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Hicktown,Texas
    Posts
    1,495
    its good keep going
    KayKay

    R.I.P. my sweet Little bit and itty bit you will be in my heart forever I love you!

    "No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle"
    Winston Churchill

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
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    2,779
    it's going to get better i promise! but tell me if you don't want to hear anymore.


    . I followed her and the other woman inside, glancing at the old wooden, cracked sign above the ancient oak doors. It read “All girls Reformatory School”
    Once inside I looked around at my new home. Jordan was pressed against my side. There were several girls standing around trying to snatch looks at me while not actually staring. I glared at them until they shrank back in to corners and behind doors.
    A short stout black woman brought five girls from downstairs. “Hello Edna, these will be your roommates for the time that you’re here, so I suggest you get to know them.” She seemed nicer than Mrs. Calloor. A skinny tan girl stepped forward; I guessed she was the leader the pack that would change soon if I had any say in it.
    “Hi, I’m Casey-Joan, but if you ever call me that I’ll know you out. Are we clear?”
    I rolled my eyes. “What should I call you then?” I asked sarcastically “CJ” she answered just as sarcastically if not more. I could tell who was the boss. It would stay that way during my time here. Cj shoved a pale tall girl with muscular legs forward and elbowed her in the ribs.
    “ uuum...hi, I’m…uuum…nora…uuum.you can call me nori ……… you know..if you want to…” I nodded at her and looked at the others girls. just as one began to talk Ms. wenda , the lady who brought the girls down, interrupted.
    “CJ, you would take edna up and show her your room?” That was a command rather than a suggestion. as we headed up some long winding stairs long winding stairs I could hear ms. Wenda’s voice fading as she addressed my father ” Mr. Wallner, I’ll take you to the head mistress to discuss monthly costs and visitation…..”

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
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    bumpies it'll get better i promise!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Ottawa ,Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,644
    more!


    ~*~Thanks Liana For The AWESOME sig!~*~

    Tweety_Pie

    ~*~Kelsey~*~

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
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    2,779
    yay! ok
    Once up in the room the other three girls introducd themselves as Zsofi, Sabira, and Kata I knew it was only a matter of time until they asked why I was here, so I figured I’d better get it over with now. “What are you guys here for?” they looked almost glad I had asked.
    “ well I’m was an orphan and I hated my foster family, and I kept running away, so they sent me here. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me” she said beaming like she’d died and gone to heaven.
    “ I tortured animals.” said Kata very frankly. My eyes widened to the size of saucers, I subconciosly put a protective arm around Jordan. ”haha! gotcha! I’m just kidding!”she nudged the other girls cracking up, “Did you see the look on her face??? Priceless!...”. she was gasping for breath now. “ok ok I’m really here because I played little practical jokes on people at school and I guess they got fed up with me after I volunteered to work in the cafeteria in exchange for detention, and added 2 loads of habenero peppers to all the food and ground beef to the vegetarian chili.”
    my mouth was gaping open.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Jamaica!!....no, I can't back that up
    Posts
    310
    Originally posted by G.P.girl
    added 2 loads of habenero peppers to all the food and ground beef to the vegetarian chili.”
    my mouth was gaping open.
    LMAO!! I LOVE the story!!Cant wait to hear more!

    thanks macky
    I love you Chaser

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,385
    I want more! That was good!

  9. #9
    moremoremoremoremoremoremoremore!!!!


    That is SO GOOD Shannon!! Please, I want to hear more!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
    Posts
    2,779
    ok, here's more. is it too hard to read like this? should i add more spaces?

    My mouth hung open like dead gutted fish. “Oh. Do you volunteer in the kitchens here?”
    Kata laughed. “No, I’m not allowed in to basement, that’s where all the kitchens and stuff are.”
    “ok, well when do we eat?, I’m pretty hungry.” I didn’t hate this place as much as I thought I would, but I can’t get too close to these people.
    “The dinner bell should ring soon, but we can go down and get good seats now if you want.” We headed out in to the hallway and down the stairs.
    Jordan was staying close by my side, he had been felling particularly protective since…since my parents decided to send me here. “Oh Edna, you can’t bring your dog to dinner with us.” CJ seemed to like Jordan well enough. “you can put him out in the stables with the horses if he won’t run away.” I didn’t know there were horses here. So that’s why they sent me to this particular place, I could feel myself growing angry. After taking a deep breath I told CJ that I’d just leave Jordan up in the room. There was no way I was going down to the stable. No one could make me.

  11. #11
    Ok, tell us why you are not going to see horsies. You nkow you wanna.


    moremoremoremoremoremore

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,385
    You know you got us hooked. Could we have more?

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Kelowna, BC
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    12,062
    Good story, I'd like to hear more!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
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    “Go home Jordan” he looked at me like I’d slapped him. He was usually with me all day, and now he didn’t understand where I wanted him to go; we weren’t near home. He blinked. I knelt down and hugged him, “just go back to the room Sweet Cheeks” Jordan looked somewhat happier. ”I’ll sneak you some food?” he wagged his tail and headed back to the room. I heard a bell clanging downstairs.


    i can't write fast enough lol

  15. #15
    sigh.. Shannon. You know I want to read more. I do like how you make us wait and you torture us though. Gives us something to think about.

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