I received this from a very good friend today. Enjoy!!!
Dog's New Year's Resolutions
1. I MUST no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener
or the refrigerator door.
2. Stop being fooled by barking dogs and ringing doorbells
on the television and radio.
3. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for
MYSELF how much food is TOO much.
4. Jan. 1: Defeat the sock! Must defeat the sock! ....Jan.
2 - Dec. 31: Re-live victory over sock.
5. Wait until that pile of clothes that just came out of
the dryer cools down before lying on it.
6. Re-smear nose prints on car and house windows
immediately after they have been cleaned off.
7. Don’t suddenly stand straight up when lying under the coffee
table.
8. Always drink from the bathroom bowl and use water dish
only for a splashing pool.
9. Whether indoors or outside, always head for the living
room to look for a fresh section of carpet when about to throw up.
10. Always be the first one out of the car window to grab
the bag of burgers from the McDonald’s lady.
11. Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs and
charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully
onto this person.
12. Never resist the urge to roll in stinky stuff right
after a bath.
13. I will absolutely NOT chase that stupid stick unless I see it
LEAVE HIS HAND.
14. I must try to understand that the cat is from Venus and
I am from Mars.
15. And NEXT Christmas: I must mind my tail when I'm near
the tree; I must not rip open packages under the tree, even ones
that smell interesting or that have my name on them; don't
drink water from the container that holds the tree; and, for
goodness sake, don't chew on the cord that runs from the hole
in the wall to the tree.
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