Job Opening at Camp Vermont

[sasvermont]

I am just about ready to throw in the towel.

Ti and Miley just had the worst fight to date. Shouldn't it be getting better? Does one have to die in order to win? What gives here. Miley is relentless and Ti is having at her as much as he can.....and I am at the end of my rope. I have been dividing the house in half and switching them around - allowing them to be with each other when I am around. All it takes is one to get near the other and whammo....a fight. Things get knocked over...broken, fur flies....no injuries quite yet.

I just don't know .... Where is Graemer when I need him?

Any advice? I don't want to give up. Should I keep dividing the house until June, until the kitten arrives. Should I return Ti to his original home? I like Ti and I like Miley.

Does this sound oh so familiar? I would surely hate to give up now.....but...................................

Help!

[lailamara]

Yikes !! All I can say is Feliway, Feliway and more Feliway. Diffuse it in the air with that diffuser thingy....spray it on everything and rub them down with it. Miley is very stubborn about giving up her throne and Ti can only be Mr. Nice Guy for so long. DON'T GIVE UP !You've done this before , you can do it again.

[NoahsMommy]

Yes, get the Feliway spray and spray the heck out of your house. Have you tried Rescue Remedy? It'll calm them down.

Since Miley had cats in the house before, she will get used to it. Its just a battle of wills right now. Is Ti submissive to her at all?

[shais_mom]

I don't have any advice, just support. The feliway and rescue remedy sound like good things to try.
or maybe valium for mom??

[Denyce]

Wow.

I am not sure I have anything good to advise. Which one is the aggresser? Is it the female? If it is I would make sure the incoming kitten is male.

I have four female cats. My mom who also shares the house with us has a male and female. My four females tolerate each other. I never have cute adorable pictures of them cleaning one another because that just isn't going to happen. We have a king sized bed and all four cats and my husband and I all manage to sleep on it relatively peacefully except for the claustraphobia I get periodically. But the cats will not touch each other for any reason what so ever. I have 2 of those Feliway diffusers in our half of the house. You notice I said our half.

My cat Deirdre will not under any circumstances tolerate my mom's female Tribble. Not for one second. As soon as Deirdre sees her she takes off like a heat seeking missle. No noise no warning no nothing but WHAM! Tribble is lucky to be a long haired cat because that is all that has ever saved her from being torn to shreds. We tried keeping them apart by sharing the main part of the house. One half of the day mom's cats would get the run of the house...the second half would be my cats turn...but then we had territorial marking. Deirdre would pee on my mom's furniture and Tribble would pee on mine. So we had a wall built. Right across the middle of the house which is a one story ranch. Now they don't have to share space or see one another. So far the peeing has quit for the most part.

I have a friend that has 9 cats and they all manage to get along..but then 8 of them are male. I have found that for the most part it seems to be the females that are more aggressive and territorial. Of course there are always exceptions to every rule.

I wish I could say to you to try this or that and everything will work out great. I can't. Some cats just can't tolerate others for any reason what so ever. My Deirdre will tolerate my other 3 but not Tribble. Just keep trying. And keep trying...but if you get to a point that the situation just won't work then you need to let go without guilt. At least in our situation it is my mom's cats....that is so much easier. I don't know what I would have done if when my husband moved in with his Kaliban if they wouldn't have gotten along. I don't know after having all of ours for years seperately who we could have given up. It would have been impossible and I thank the fates every day that it never happened.

Good luck and I will be sending all the good happy thoughts and prayes that I can your way.

Denyce

[Edwina's Secretary]

Oh please don't give up!

[Karen]

There were times I'm sure my mom thought my younger brother and I were gonna kill each other, but we grew out of it ...

Perhaps if one of them "wins" the next battle, detant will be established .... never dealt with this, but try the Rescue Remedy/Feliway ...

[sasvermont]

I feel as though I am in a ring and going back into the fight each night.....

I will stop and get some feliway...I bought resue remedy a while back so it must still be in my house somewhere. I have considered using Gabe's medication on the two of them.....in the ear.....hey, maybe I will do that.....well, that will be my last resort.

Right now I have the house in 1/2....and all is quiet. I can't live this way forever. I feel so helpless..... and I see/hear about so many people struggling to get cats to accept each other. This one is going in reverse which puzzles me.

Both cats are so sweet and trusting of me. At least with Gabe, I had a healthy fear of HIM biting me, but Ti, gee, he is so sweet and Miley is too. They would never go after ME.....but each other...well...there is fur on the floor in the living room. I think it is Ti's. Both cats have had their nails clipped.....

I will not give up. It just isn't working out as I had hoped....

I will try. Honestly. I am not a quitter. And I love both these kitties.....

I need my Grammy Crackers......

I will keep you guys posted.

I just finished watching a Public TV program about an adopted Vietnamese child/girl/woman and her mother....and I am all cried out now....

So off to bed. Tomorrow is a new cat day!

P. S. Denyce, your story about your cats made me laugh! I needed that....thank you!

[Pam]

Sallyanne I am sorry your two are putting you through this. I can imagine how sad and frustrated you must be feeling right now. I think if any cat should have ever gotten Miley's fur up it should have been Gabe, but aaah there was gentle Graemer to act as mediator and peacemaker. I know you must miss him so much at times like these, remembering his sweet little personality. I do hope that the Feliway helps. It sounds like it is certainly well worth trying.

[AmberLee]

Weird thought, and it might be too extreme for you...

We took Cassy, Livvy, and Sassy in to the groomers when it looked like WWIII was breaking out in the furry set. It seemed to help -- all the fur kids smelled alike and they were all out of their usual territory. Things settled down nicely for that visit at least.

(This WAS the groomers visit where Livvy was declared Gatta Non Gratta and wasn't allowed back. My widdle furry princess can fight like a trooper!)

[sasvermont]

I will stop at Petco for the Feliway.......and take a wiff of it myself! Maybe I should be the one taking meds! I will confess to having had a beer each night for the past few days....to try to relax a little. I haven't had a beer here since Gabe gained his wings.

Wish me luck! I guess it could be worse.

And what is with all this snow? Where is spring?

This morning I was having bad thoughts about what it would be like if these two current cats start fighting the June kitten. Oh my.
I need to think more positively!

[Pam]

Originally posted by sasvermont
And what is with all this snow? Where is spring?

This morning I was having bad thoughts about what it would be like if these two current cats start fighting the June kitten. Oh my.
I need to think more positively!

That little June kitten may be what saves the day (**picture in my mind of June kitty flying in with a cape singing "here I am to save the day!"**) Remember those old Mighty Mouse cartoons? he!he! Thinking back, Miley was OK when there were "3." This one-on-one thing with Ti may just be too much for her to handle. Also, wouldn't it be funny if she developed some maternal feelings for the little June kitty. I know there is a book out called "Think Like a Cat." I have read about it here on PT. Maybe it is worth a look see. Still hoping for someone to raise the flag of surrender at Camp Vermont!

Yes, the snow is not adding to anyone's happy thoughts of spring. Ours has pretty much melted already. I just hope that is the last of it! Thinking of you and the strife at Camp Vermont!

[Vio&Juni]

Sorry to hear about this. I hoped they will fight for a while and they will decide who's the boss and stop. I can't even imagine how it's going to be with Juni. There is a black stray kitten near my office and I would like to adopt him after a visit to the vet, but, considering how fierce she was with the visiting cat some months ago I don't know?!
Good luck! I know you will do your best.

[Barbara]

F+T is the first time I have 2 cats. And they also had a short period of flying fur before they became friends. And since then the fur flies once a week and there has also been some blood - a scratch on tigris head, a little bit in Filou's ear.

I notice that here at PT some kitties seem to come in a period of more stress after 2 weeks or so.

Outside many cats can share the same territory in a kind of time sharing system: this is my path in the morning and your's in the afternoon. If a new cat arrives, there will be some fight before they have developped a new sharing schedule. So even some back gardens can be the territory of quite a number of cats.

I never heard about a cat killing another cat (and especially not of a fixed cat killing another fixed cat) but I understand how you must feel.

How is their behavior after a fight? More peaceful for a certain time? Who attacks first?

I wish I could be more helpful

[rosethecopycat]

I agree, thy the Feliway. I've got some on hand when my fosters arrive next week.

Then, I know it seems like forever, but keep them as far apart as possible til June.

Then try and bond the kitten to Ti. (since Miley seems to be more territorial and wants to be left alone) Do an isolation, a good long one, 10 to 14 days and introduce Kitten to Ti. When they come out as a bonded pair, Miley might not feel so threatened.

Any one else agree with this? I't just a theory, I'm no expert.

I'm going to have two separate males to integrate with my two boys in about 3 weeks.


Good luck, SAS, we'll be thinking about you.