I was contacted by an investigator for the FAA regarding the following call they intercepted today:
[Unknown caller on an inbound 757]: Is dat you, my smoldering Romeo of delight, who makes my widdle tootsies weak with SWOONIES?
[Unknown receiver -- thought to be in Mass] Is that my goddess of delight, of fluffiness, of wonderment -- my Jewel-iette?
I'm SOOO glad you answered the phone. I've longed to hear your voice so passionately! My bruvver and me have been at the bestest party at Lut's -- I thought you'd be dere, darling. When you didn't come, my world shookied like the Wood Twade Center, only worsey.
Oh dolling, MY bruvver's sick and somebuddy needed to licky his ears. Meowmy does good stuffies, but she doesn't lick ears, at least not cat ears. I couldn't leave Mr. B, as much as my heart longed to see you, caress you, nuzzle you, sniffie you!
Swoonies! You is my knight in fuzzy armor! My bruvver and me snuckied on an arrowpane to a JFK place dat's closer to you than to my Meowmy. Can you come get us? We doden't got passiports so we's gonna need some help, I fink...
My heart's delight! ...
The FAA lost the transmission at this point, but were sure that the conversation continued. They wanted to know WHO these illegal aliens were who were using my credit card, speaking in an obvious code, sneaking on-board planes and into this country, raising terrorism issues, and NOT speaking good English!!!
I said I had no idea, and laid down with a cold cloth upon my brow! Where are Cassy and Livvy now? Where is Oliver? WHERE'S MY CREDIT CARD?
Where will this all end? Can New York survive my two wild ones?
Can they sneaky off the plane as easily as they did on? What's to become of them? What's to become of us?
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