Assisted suicide

[cassiesmom]

I copied this from a thread over on the cat side. It got me thinking.

Human euthanasia has been practiced for a very long time. Certainly it was done while I was nursing in the sixties, though never in the open. I know my ex-husband, an emergency room physician, believes in it because he has seen intense suffering first hand. Those who don't believe in it don't need to participate and the checks people have to go through in order to receive help in those states where medically assisted suicide is legal (and I'm proud to be in one of those states) are very rigorous. It's set up so people can change their minds at any stage, and a few have, but most are very ready for the help.

When I first started my nursing career we used to do "slow codes". This was before people were encouraged to discuss with their physician and make an advance directive. It was never written in the chart but quietly passed along during change of shift reports. Fortunately, I never had to carry one out and with the arrival of advance directive guidelines, I think the practice has pretty much gone away.

I'm one of those who won't be participating because I don't believe in it, but I think Lizzie's description "intense suffering" is a good way to put it. I've seen some of that in my career. As a nurse I will do everything in my power to keep a patient free from pain or other symptoms, but I feel like it is not up to me to help someone end their life. However, I do think there are enough practitioners who don't share my view, that patients who wish to pursue it will be able to find help. I've seen some heartbreaking situations and as a nurse you just do the best you can for the patient and family and maybe a little more.


Thanks for letting me share,
elyse

[momcat]

Thank you for posting this, Elyse. If I may, I'd like to suggest something to all. Before she took sick, Mom and I talked many times about what she wanted done if she should become critically ill. Sadly, I found myself in that situation. Over a period of 9 years, Mom had 2 major strokes, 2 surgeries to remove 3 brain tumors, ovarian cancer, kidney failure, a fourth brain tumor, and a third stroke. It came to a point where the decisions were up to me and it was a place I did not want to be. I promised Mom that what she wanted is what would be done. At times it was very painful and difficult but I kept my promise to her.

To everyone reading this important post, it is imperative to talk to your families and tell them exactly what you want done. I've already talked to my son about it. Mom passed away a little over 2 years ago and the pain of her passing is still there. But it does help a bit knowing I did exactly what she wanted.

[pomtzu]

I am one that supports assisted suicide, should that be what a person truly desires. When all hope is gone, and the person is just existing and waiting to die, then it should be their right to choose.
But I hope I personally am never in that position, either for myself, or a loved one. I have an advance directive and have specified DNR when all reasonable measures have already been taken. I want no heroics, and I do not want to be "brought back" simply because it is possible. If there is no quality of life left for me, then it's time to let go. I do not want to be kept alive simply because it's medically possible to do so. It's not fair to me, but especially not fair to my loved ones.

Like it says in my siggy - "To everything there is a season"..........

[Grace]

I absolutely support it - and if one of my family were in that situation, I would do all I could to help them.

I agree with Ellie and momcat - talk to your family, and have them talk to you. There is no reason for anyone to suffer at the end of life.

[Freedom]

Dad and I discussed this and he does have an advanced directive. I pray I am never put in the position to have to make such decisions, however.

I think related to this is the advanced directive. On Dad's side, we've seen some very tough cases.

Dad's brother did not have any legal paperwork in place. So when he developed prostate cancer (3d time), they did the "seeds" (I forget if that is chemo or radiation?), when that didn't work and he lapsed into a coma they did feeding tubes and the process was 6 weeks none of us -- or him -- needed. My cousin - only child -- was not allowed to make any decisions as there was no paper work in place.

My cousin's husband died of throat cancer at age 52. He was a lifelong chain smoker. First cancer he lost part of his jaw. He continued smoking, and added chewing tobacco to the list. Second cancer took his larynx so he couldn't speak. Still, he kept smoking. Third cancer took . . . something, he was on a feeding tube at home, he managed it all himself and even continued working part time. In the end, he was w/ hospice at home for 7 months as his body slowly dwindled away, eaten by the cancer. Everything was being done to keep him alive, which I never understood, as there was no "cure" for what he had at that point. He was unconscious the last 5 months. My cousin continued to work her job, and was torn apart by this. Coming home to him in a hospital bed in the living room daily, going upstairs to bed at night, not knowing if he would make it, getting up in the morning and getting ready to go to work with him there - she stopped eating breakfast as the kitchen opened on to the living room. She lost 35 pounds and was at the ER herself several times at the end. She gained back 25 pounds -- less than 6 months after he passed. To me, something wasn't handled properly here, and that included her and her husband not getting the advance directives when they could.

Medical science has advanced so that we can keep a human alive far longer than "natural causes" would keep the body going. Everyone needs to be aware of this and get the proper legal documents executed.

[sasvermont]

Some people want everything done to save them. My Mom is a DNR at age 91. She is suffering from several illnesses but not one that will kill you on the spot. She is in and out of the hospital each month, but always manages to pull through. I saw her today, and she seemed fine. So, if some day, her heart gives out, then so be it. They will not bring her back. She has led a full life and had a halfway decent quality to her life right now.

Everyone needs to get their wishes in writing. It would save so much heart ache in the end.

This is a nice topic.

Assisted suicide, well, states have to vote yea or nay at this point. I would want that option for me, but would not want to assist anyone. I don't have the stomach for it.

To each his own.

[pomtzu]

Assisted suicide, well, states have to vote yea or nay at this point. I would want that option for me, but would not want to assist anyone. I don't have the stomach for it.

Legal assisted suicide is done under a doctor's care, and not carried out by a friend or family member.

[Asiel]

I support it when there is no alternative and someone is being kept alive mechanically or just existing and waiting for the final hour. That being said it does have to be under a doctor's care. It isn't something very new, nurses and doctors have been practicing merciful deaths for years. No one talks about it, kind of an unwritten code between the family and the doctor. Making sure the patient is pain free sometimes helps the process along, with the family's permission.
I've explained my wishes to my family and they know that under no circumstances should they keep me alive by machines and I also have a DNR in my living will.

[robinh]

Tough subject, but one everyone needs to look at.

When my step-dad found out he had cancer, he put together an advance directive and a power of attorney for financial matters putting me in charge should the need arise. When it came to the time that his body was shutting down, they asked me what to do. Toughest decision I have every made..pallative care and let him go when his time came.

Less than five years later, my oldest sister gave me the same responsibility. After she had coded three times, again they asked me what to do. I had to tell them to let her go.

An advance directive is soooo important. I can live with the decisions I made in both instances only because we had talked about the situation at length and I knew their wishes.

Not sure yet about the assisted suicide. Haven't had to face that situation yet. If there is no hope for a quality of life, don't know that I would want to go on.

[todd]

I absolutely support it

[Marigold2]

Yes when the pain is too bad or the life is not worth living. Go and be with your maker.

[moosmom]

I saw my 44 year old mother suffer so from lung cancer. My father, rather than put Mom in a hospital, was her main caregiver. She died 10 months after being diagnosed. It was sheer hell for the whole family.

I am FULLY prepared to check out if things get too bad. I have tried to talk to my daughter about "things" and she refuses to, I guess because she came so close to dying herself. I've made a list of where my cats should go, as well as a living will and a Last Will and Testament. My BFF has a copy of everything, as well as all passwords, PIN numbers, etc. There will be no arguing over me and what should happen, should I not be able to make decisions on my own. I saw what my family went through with my Mom, as well as my aunts, and there will be absolutely NO QUESTION of what my wishes were.