Need Advice..

[3Catcondo]

So, I live in a condo. My next door neighbor (who moved in last May) and I were fairly close until this past February when she showed her *ss and was hateful to me. We didn't speak for months. After this incident she avoided me and most all of our neighbors (we are a close group of neighbors). I am still waiting for some sort of apology or acknowledgment of her nastiness to this day.
Anyway,she recently kicked her "boyfriend" out after they used each other for their needs (hers was his construction background to renovate her condo for free), his was that he is a nursing student and needed a place to stay pretty much rent free. The internet was in his name and so now she has no internet. The past week she has contacted me to help her move a coffee table back to the condo from storage, and now she wants to use my internet until Fios is installed over there. She is from Australia and wants to Skpe her family back home on Christmas. I feel for this reason that I should allow her to get on my wireless connection, but at the same time I feel like I'm being used and that she is not trustworthy. I also see a pattern with myself and our other neighbors that she is going to be needy now that she is over there alone. I do not think she is a good person anymore, and I do not want to interact with her. What do you all think is an appropriate response to her request? Please help!!!!

Amy

[Karen]

I would be honest with her, and tell her her prior actions were hurtful. Explain that you would like to let her Skype her family for Christmas, but this is a one time thing, and any further interactions will be at your discretion. She has abused your trust, and will have to earn in back slowly.

If she apologizes and takes it like a grown-up, great. If she tries to make you feel guilty, doesn't apologize and blames anyone but herself, tell her "X place has Internet you can use for a fee," and leave it at that.

My 2 cents!

[Husky_mom]

she should get a prepaid internet card... IMO..

I assume they sell those.. or find a hot spot..

after what she did.. you´d be too nice.. and who know what she´ll do once on your wifi..

[sana]

Let her know that she had hurt your feelings before and that she needs to earn that trust back like it used to be. Just tell, her and be truthful of how much you got hurt and tell her that you aren't ready to just allow her to use your internet. Tell her of some place where she can go use the internet. Isn't there any internet cafe or something nearby?

She should be ashamed and should think about what she did before. How can she even come up to you or ask you if she can use your internet?!
What a ____!!! She'll most probably ask for more things in the future if you allow her now. She'll keep asking for things what I mean she might start using you. Best just not allow her...at least not this time...

[Alysser]

My advice --- Personally, I am too nice to just kick somebody when they're down already, she seems to be having multiple issues in her life currently. That's not to say you should comply with her requests, because IMO, you shouldn't. Don't be rude though, although I am sure you wouldn't be. This is a very sticky situation, though.

I would tell her, no, but of course in a nice way. Don't be mean, but don't let her walk all over you. I think she's using you, in a bad way. If she had proved herself a worthy neighbor from the beginning, I could MAYBE see it, but she was rude and that's not fair. Why come to you now, just because she needs something? I would accept the apology and move on. I know it's a touchy thing you're dealing with here, the whole family issue. But she can get an air card of some sort too. She's not totally out of options.

I wish you luck with this situation.

[Freedom]

Helping her move a table is one thing. You are out in public (the stairs and hallways) and you are briefly in HER space.

Using your Internet is different -- she has to be in YOUR space for this, and presumably you will give her some privacy.

No, I would not go that far with someone I don't trust, with someone I am not friends with. She will have other folks to ask for the Christmas call -- she must have friends, and asking you because . . . you are close by? She doesn't have to go outside, drive etc.

And if she has no "friends" she can ask well, that is her issue.

No, I would just say with the holiday and such it is not convenient.

[moosmom]

I'm with Sandie. Asking for help moving a coffee table is one thing. Using your internet is a totally different thing. If you don't trust her, say no. How do you know WHAT she's going to use the internet for??? Wouldn't you be embarassed if you found out it was for porn, or something else. Besdies, she can always go to the library. I did it for many months when my puter was on the fritz.

Keep her out of your space.

[Freedom]

LOL I wasn't even thinking of what she may do online.

I was thinking more along the lines of: she sees something in your place and next time she is angry with you, "Oh come on you have a XXX you can afford anything!" Or she is angry and tells other people, "She even has a XXX in there!"

[Laura's Babies]

Just remember, you are 100% responsible for anything that your internet is used for... I am VERY uncomfortable with anyone getting on my computer and who know what else she will do on it if you allow her to use it. She has already proved she isn't trustworthy and a user. Give her a inch and she is going to take a mile.

She already has shown she had no considerations for your feelings so why should you care about hers. I'd tell her "No" and offer no explanation as to why.

[pomtzu]

I'm in agreement with everyone else here - just tell her "no" - and you certainly don't need an explanation to go along with that either!

If you were still friends - maybe, but she showed herself to you for what she really is and she hardly qualifies as a friend anymore. Personally, I wouldn't have even helped her move the darn coffee table!

[Cataholic]

I think she is using you. She was mad at you and didn't need you, so she didn't talk to you. Now, she needs something from you, and she talks to you.

Gotta give her some props...she has lots of nerve!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I agree with everyone else. Just say NO!!! There's no need for an explanation either.