I thought you guys would find this funny!
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other "valuable" programs, such as romance 9.9, and installed "undesirable" programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another boyfriend program. These are not supported applications, and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to de- fault to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.
In summary! , Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby... Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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