These are just some of the things I must remember (in order to keep my present
living arrangements):
~ The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
~ I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee
table.
~ I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
~ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
~ I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
~ I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the
house when I am about to get sick.
~ I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the
way they smell.
~ I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the
backyard after processing.
~ The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
~ I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
~ I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people
will think I am hemorrhaging.
~ When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's
raining outside.
~ We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on television.
~ The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
~ My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
~ I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are
tasty, they are not food.
~ I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
license and registration.
~ I will not roll around in the dirt right after just getting a bath.
~ The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water
is blue, doesn't mean it's cleaner.
~ The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
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