I have been struggling since I got out of high school with what I want as a carreer. I have tried various things and nothing really seemed to stick with me. Eventually I dropped out of college and have been working bottom of the barrel jobs...getting by without really getting anywhere. I could probily work at my job at the same wage forever and be ok but I know in my heart I will never be happy at it. I do like my job but it isnt a carreer with any room for improvement and I feel myself wanting to half ass my work. This isn't fair to my company or myself. I know no job is perfect but I do know work without passion becomes meaningless. I am working as far in this proffession as I want to go (security). I was tossing the idea around in my head of becoming a paralegal and getting into law because it is an extension sort of of what Im doing now...and the numbers are good. Id make money...but my heart wouldn't be into it. Id be a lot richer monitarily but Id feel the same exact way I do now...if I even passed school. I realzed that there was a reason I dropped out of school...I was persuing things that I never had a true passion for. Two things in my life have followed me always, music and machines. Music I love but if I had to go to class for it Id probibly *eyeroll* and fall asleep...that and Im convinced that no class can make a person into a DJ lol. Its a hobby, its a source of spiritual focus and common ground with my family and friends. It could never become a job (I dont even like djing for money, music should be free for the world to enjoy and love). So what about my other passion? I love machines, specifically putting them together and fixing them, cars in particular. For so long though Ive been told that I am the wrong gender for mechanic work and up until now I fed right into that excuse. Today, I saw a man on pbs that had no hands drum better than just about anyone Ive seen. I got to thinking, if a man that lost his hands can get on his knees and thank God for his condtion and become the best at his passion, I can do it too. All of us have a calling deep within us and I feel like Ive been excuseing myself from my calling because Ive lived my life believing naysayers. Not any more! This week I am calling the local colleges auto mechanic school and applying for the ASE program. I aim to start next term but they may make me wait until the fall. I may not make a huge wad of money but I will be doing what I love and thats what matters. I have an aptitude for it, Ive had a lot of "training" on my own car and with my dad too. Im not going to let being a girl push me into a carreer I don't like anymore! It will be hard and I know Im going to have a lot of proving myself to do but Im going to be doing it for me this time!
Sorry for the rambling post...I just had to get my thoughts out there. Anyone else finaly break the bonds of excuses and follow a dream?
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