Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: At last....good diet hints.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166

    At last....good diet hints.



    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

    Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


    "I'm Back !!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Chihuahua, Mexico
    Posts
    7,515
    I´m here freakingly LMAO... can find a word to describe how tremendously hilarious it is... thanks for posting this
    Corinna´s Christmas Card Swap ´06
    dedicated to a lovely woman who won many hearts along her life...........
    she will be deeply missed.......Thank you for letting us be a part of your life, you will surely remain in ours FOREVER........R.I.P. Dear Corinna

    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful dude that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred



    notes-to-my-husband blog

    http://365project.org/isabelle/365

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Bexhill, UK
    Posts
    8,815
    Works for me! now, pass the chocolate

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Pawsitive Thinking View Post
    Works for me! now, pass the chocolate
    Sorry, no chocolate.
    I have a Sweeney Todd pie for you tho.


    "I'm Back !!"

  5. #5
    My kind o' diet! I especially like the part about sit ups. No more guilty conscience for me!
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Bexhill, UK
    Posts
    8,815
    Quote Originally Posted by wombat2u2004 View Post
    Sorry, no chocolate.
    I have a Sweeney Todd pie for you tho.
    Yum! my favourite

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Usually in my own little world...
    Posts
    4,875
    I love this theory. Very intelligent person who make this diet.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    Quote Originally Posted by happylabs View Post
    I love this theory. Very intelligent person who make this diet.
    True..........That's Dr. Woo Flung Dung.


    "I'm Back !!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Sweet Home Alabama (ZULU -6)
    Posts
    4,269
    They were all great, but I almost blew a gasket on the swimming one.
    “You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
    — Unknown

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Deep-N-Heart of Tx && My Babie's Hearts
    Posts
    15,555
    Thats a good Thread Posting.. Too Funny & so along the my thinkings too..

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
    <Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

Similar Threads

  1. Hints on pronunciation for foreigners
    By RedHedd in forum General
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 10-11-2007, 05:30 PM
  2. Need advice about a good diet food please.
    By My Peanuts in forum Dog General
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 03-23-2007, 12:34 PM
  3. I can't drop anymore hints!
    By PJ's Mom in forum General
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 05-08-2005, 06:55 AM
  4. cat's hints
    By lovemymaltese in forum Cat General
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-13-2002, 07:04 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Copyright © 2001-2013 Pet of the Day.com