Self defense and personal safety

[Kater]

Since two sexual assaults occurred near my University in less than one week's time, I have felt a compromised sense of security. The most recent incident happened on the very street where I live. It has left me shaken and questioning my own choices when it comes to safety. I am a young woman (21) living alone during the week. I almost exclusively walk to get around, mostly alone and sometimes late at night. These crimes occurred at 5pm and 9pm, which shocked me as I almost assumed those to be somehow infallibly 'safe' times. I tend to be naïve, I guess.

My initial thought was that I needed to buy some mace or pepper spray. I had a heck of a time finding a retailer but finally found a sporting goods store that carries pepper spray. However, there are also a lot of stores online selling pepper spray products. Does anyone here have a certain product they bought online and are particularly happy with? I just know it needs to be something small so that I'm likely to keep it on my person at all times. The ones that look just like pens appeal to me the most so far. Here is an example: http://www.pepper-spray-store.com/pr...tain-pen.shtml .

I will also be living alone in my parent's home for the fall semester. My mother is going on sabbatic leave and my father is accompanying her. Ideally we would like to have a renter, but my parents are very skeptical about allowing someone we don't know to live in our home. Our location is not really appealing to University students as we live far from campus and I'm not optimistic about finding a renter. Living alone with my parents in another country didn't seem at all daunting until these recent incidences gave me a reality check. We have friends in the neighborhood and I'm also thinking I should make an effort to get to know our neighbors better before my parents leave. What should I know about living in a big house by myself? I will be using my parent's cars for transportation during this period.

One day during my senior year of high school I was driven home from school by some friends and discovered I had returned to a ransacked house. I went around the back of the house and noticed that my bedroom window had been forced open and the back door was swinging open in the breeze. I ran straight out of my yard to a nearby gymnasium and used someone's cell phone to call the police. How was I to know if the robbers were still in there or not? I was terrified.
When I'm living alone and come home after being away are there certain precautions I should take when I enter the house?

I know we have many women here on Pet Talk and I would imagine that a lot of you have lived alone at some point in your lives. I want to know what steps you take to assure your personal safety.
Have you taken self defense classes? What kind? How useful did you feel they were?
Do you carry any self defense products with you - pepper spray or something else?
Do you have certain rules or procedures you follow that you feel reduce your risk of becoming a target?

I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks!

[Karen]

I have never taken a self-defense class. I walked alone at night when I was in college far more often than I "should have" according to some people. I never had a problem BUT ... I made sure to always walk with a very firm-sounding step, I never wore shoes I couldn't have run in, and I carried myself with a great deal of confidence. I made sure I knew where I was going, stayed in well-lit areas and around other people as much as possible.

I would definitely get to know your neighbors and neighborhood better before your parents leave. It can only help. Neighborhood barbecue time?

[zippy-kat]

Hey Kate,

Unfortunately (embarassingly? naively?), I'm pretty oblivious to my surroundings; I've in my own little "zippy" world. (For example, I can walk right by someone I know in the store and not actually notice them unless they speak/tap me on the shoulder... )

Anywho, the only things that actually come to mind right now (and these were things that my best friend's brother-in-law (a state cop) told me) are:
*When you're walking to and from the parking lot, carry your keys in a fist and arrange it so that a key is sticking out between each finger. (Did that make sense?) The idea is that, if you have to throw a punch, the keys will aid (cut, scratch, gauge, etc) in your defense.
* Don't wear pony tails -- way too easy to grab!
* Park under lights and as close to the building as possible. Avoid parking by vehicles that are bigger than your's and/or obscure the line of vision to/from the store.

I know he mentioned a few others but I can't remember them right now.

Hope this helps a bit!

[Cataholic]

Kate,
Hmm....I used to run with pepper spray, which was legal in Massachusetts, at least at the time. I don't know if it is legal in all places. I stopped using it as I felt it caused a false sense of security, as well as it probably wouldn't do me any good unless I was walking with it, opened and ready to use.

I look at it like this. You cannot stop all crime from happening. Face it. Then, I look at what I can do to be most protected. Walk in crowds, don't carry my pocketbook in a way that someone could lift it from me, lock my car and house doors at all times. Also, when I walk anywhere (and imagine me, with Jonah in my arms approaching my car), I am alert, looking around all the time, over my shoulder- I am VERY much aware of what is going on around me. I do look in my back seat. I tend to go places during 'safe' times, and things in safe locations. I don't like going into bathrooms that are in a long hallway..so, I avoid them.

Like Karen said, I walk with confidence, I look people in the eye. I smile and say hello to people- not cause I love them all, but, I want them to know I am big and bad and not scared of anyone.

I don't walk places alone at night. I was even nervous with Binx about, when we walked in the pre-dawn mornings..but, his size alone was imposing.

As to the house, I have my own alarm(s)-namely my cats. I can tell in an instant if someone is in my house. If I don't have cats greeting me at the door, no matter which one I come in, there is a problem. I know when someone approaches my door- they all run 15 seconds before I hear them on the steps. Except for Monte, of course. He runs FOR the door. Maybe I could ship you Monte as your own personal guardcat. The more I think about it, the more I like that idea.

Seriously, you must be safe-and careful.

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by zippy-kat
Hey Kate,

Unfortunately (embarassingly? naively?), I'm pretty oblivious to my surroundings; I've in my own little "zippy" world.

Just wondering....are you the Mayor? President? World Leader? I sure would hate to see the polling places at the time of re-election...he he he

[catnapper]

I think just living smart and being aware of your surooundings is key. Check that all windows and doors are completely shut and locked before leaving the house. I have always- ALWAYS -carried my keys in my hands, with a key extended outward. If someone would approach you in a threatening manner, the key is a great weapon to scratch, stab, etc. I was told to aim for the eyes when I took a class waaaayyyyy back in college. I still carry my keys like that when I have keys in my hand. Always have a cell phone too. You can get one of those trak phone where you by the phone and then minutes off a card = no cost monthly unless you do use it.

I am always aware of my surroundings when walking around, especially as it gets dark. I listens, I watch. I stay in the moment and don't let my mind wander to other things, like what do I need ot pick up at the grocery store, or when can I get that one projct done... I stay focused on when I am, and whats going on around me.

[Lady's Human]

Just a word of caution on self defense courses.....


Remember, unless you practice something until it becomes second nature, self defense classes can almost be a liability because some people tend to get a false sense of security. Better to be aware of your surroundings at all times, and act self assured. (Be like a duck, be calm, cool and collected on the surface and paddle like hell underneath) Be prepared to scream, and on that note, there are canned air whistles that are non-permit required anywhere and are almost as useful as a can of mace. Criminals hate noise, it calls people's attention to the area.

[Kater]

Thanks for your tips and advice. I’m starting to become a little more rational about the situation now. I went from being too nonchalant to being too paranoid and I think I'm at a more balanced place now.

What I have been doing when walking home is getting my keys and cell phone out and ready in my hands or pockets. Now I think I'll start holding my keys in my hands the way Tonya & Kim described. I also always carry an umbrella and felt that I could use that to hit someone if I needed to. What I think I will do is buy a heavy duty umbrella with a thicker central pole to carry at night as the one I have now is dinky and compact. I do have a metal whistle on my key ring and it is very loud. I think I prefer something like a whistle to pepper spray. For some reason I'm not all that comfortable with the idea of carrying pepper spray.

Now I just need to work on being more alert, generally I'm very tired from studying when walking home. My friends tell me that I just need to get more studying done during the day and I know they are right! However, I also know that old habits die hard…

Thanks again for sharing your insight. It's helped to calm me down and allowed me to regain focus. I really appreciate it!

[emily_the_spoiled]

You may want to consider having an alarm system installed for the time you are living by yourself. They are not that expensive and will provide you with some peace of mind.

[Queen of Poop]

I took the self defence course thru a company called Safe and Sound. It was truly amazing. You're taught how to avoid problems, how to walk, what to do if someone wants your wallet and how to defend yourself. At 100 lbs soaking wet I was able to get away from the padded attacker after he grabbed me from behind. It was a most exhilirating experience. Your elbow is your most powerful weapon. While I am still extremely careful when walking I have more confidence knowing that I have a plan and am fully prepared to carry it out if someone were to attack me. Please consider a self defence course and an alarm in your home. Stay smart and stay safe!!

[RedHedd]

I have taken a couple of self-defense courses. Check around, some community colleges and community centers have free courses. I think one of the ones I took was through the American Red Cross. They do help give tips on how to be more aware of your surroundings and give suggestions as to what to do if someone approaches you, threatens you, or even touches you inappropriately. I still want to take one of those "hugger-mugger" courses (there's one in the Bay Area called BAMM - Bay Area Model Mugging). The Learning Annex (is that available nationwide?) offers some good courses.

Living in the big City, I'm probably more aware (street wise?) anyway, I always walk with my keys in my hand, always look like I know where I am and where I'm going, keep a fully-charged cell phone with me, etc.

P.S. I agree with QofP, taking the course is an exhilarating experience and does give you more confidence knowing that you do have a plan should anything happen.

[IRescue452]

I think that all people should know basic self-defense. Fortunately for me Lakeland college hasn't had any type of assault in years and years. With such a small campus its a very safe place to be. People outside of campus call me nuts when I talk about going for walks at night, but its safer than during the day because there are more student security officers after 5 pm, I'm one of them.

[Lady's Human]

I know of many cases where soldiers out of basic (where hand to hand combat is taught repeatedly through the 9 week cycle) get their tails kicked because they get overconfident and try to confront things they should just run from. One or two day classes are not the answer to self defense. If you plan on taking self defense classes, be sure you can be in it for the long haul.

[moosmom]

I learned self-defense techniques at the State Police Academy in Connecticut when I went through my auxiliary state trooper training. It's a great thing to have!

The one thing they taught us was to be aware of your surroundings at all times, know where ALL the entrances and exits are, ALWAYS walk near the street as opposed to near buildings (where someone can scoop you up in a nanosecond) and always look over your shoulder. To this day, whenever I go out to dinner, I always sit facing the door.

[ramanth]

I was pretty naive back in college too. I would walk alone in the dark from the building where I worked all the way across campus to the parking garage.

I was always looking around me though, had my keys on a lanyard (and believe me, I had a lot of keys) and I would jangle them and swing them in a way that if anyone came towards me in a threatening manner, I'm sure it would hurt when I whip them around.

Thankfully no one ever bothered me.

I did take a self defense class, but it was so long ago, I probably don't remember any of the moves.