The Forwarder's 12 Step Program :-)

[Catty1]

THE FORWARDER'S 12 STEP PROGRAM

1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email.

2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people who are obviously as stupid as me.

5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ... NEVER -- NEVER.

7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people who are as stupid as I am.

8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

9. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!!

11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before he picks up a keyboard to pass it on.

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!

[Laura's Babies]

I LOVE IT!!

FORWARDS! What a pain!!! For some reason, this time while I was at work, everybody decided there were some forwards I HAD to see!! NOW! You try being gone 28 days and have 5 people send you 4 or 5 a day..... can we say "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!"? They all know I hate those things and do not do whatever the latest requires you to do and do not send them.. What is the deal with the people that do that?

[joycenalex]

when i was a kid (back in the pony express days_you can look it up ) i heard my mom ranting about she hated chain letters. those were/are(?) the 20th century equivalent of an email forward, except no virus on the hard drive. so guess who sends me email forwards.... . mom i love you.

[chocolatepuppy]

lmao! All I can say for forwarded email is *delete*. I remember chain letters, when I was younger, they used to scare me.

[moosmom]

AMEN Candace!!!!!

My daughter, to this day, STILL sends me that crap. I've threatened her with her life if she keeps doing it. Um, she's still alive so I'm no good on threats.

I got one from a PTer one time (no name mentioned) about Microsoft giving away thousands of dollars for emailing some or doing some such thing. I actually called Microsoft and was put through to the head of a department (can't remember). He ASSURED me it was a hoax and not to open it. I told him I just marked it as spam.

Unless I recognize the person or the re: line, I immediately mark it as spam. My junk mail has really cut back, thank God!!!

[Catty1]

Best way to find out if something is a scam or hoax is to put the title of the email into Google. That'll tell ya!

Why not send the 12 steps to all your forwarders?

One friend(and a 12 Step one at that) would NOT stop sending forwards, even after I asked her nicely AND sent the above...so I blocked her email.

Try that - THAT will get their attention!

[moosmom]

I did, along with this message...

You KNOW who you are. So, unless I've won the lottery or a long lost brother dies and leaves me his entire estate...STOP SENDING ME THIS &%$#!!!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!

OMG, I haven't laughed sooooo hard in a very long time
Thank you much for this hilarious words!!!

[cyber-sibes]

At last, an e-mail worth forwarding to everyone I know!