"Friends"....

[BC_MoM]

I'll try to make this short. For a few weeks, myself, my sister and 4 friends have been planning on going to the corn maze.

We were supposed to go tonight - but my Dad was not able to pick us all up because he has to go out of town tomorrow, and didn't want to be out late.

So at about 9:00 tonight, my sister called one of the friends... whose Mom said they had all gone to the corn maze.



Needless to say... I am SUPER ticked off right now. I am EXTREMELY disappointed in my "friends". I have a feeling one of them was the ring leader in the idea of ditching us because our Dad could no longer give everyone rides home... but I'm still ticked that the rest went along with it.

One of the "friends" invited me to her birthday in October, but I think I will return the invitation to her tomorrow.

I am so disappointed.

Am I overreacting?

[dukedogsmom]

IMO, no. Friends don't treat friends that way. I would be hurt, too. I've been done badly by people I thought were my friends. Had to find out the hard way. Good friends are way too rare. I don't think I'd want to go to the birthday party, either. Seems to me it would just be a gift grab. That was so rude of them and I'm sure you're plenty hurt.

[sweetpatata6]

When ever you get a chance, I would just go up to one of em ((not the one who planned this out, and the one you feel as the most trust worthy)) and be like, hey, I was just wondering why we wern't invited. I would be pretty mad too.

[sandragonfly]

ditto what dukedogsmom thought - I wouldn't accept that either. like she said, I've been treated badly enough by others. I mean if friends care enough for you to come with too, you would have AT LEAST been known. not by a mother.

returning her invitation is a good idea, they may want a gift from you but not you out of gifted if you know what I mean. unless you girls worked something out - I'm sorry they did this to you.

[KittyGurl]

returning her invitation is a good idea, they may want a gift from you but not you out of gifted if you know what I mean. unless you girls worked something out - I'm sorry they did this to you.

I agree. They are probably using you to get a present. Don't go to the party. If you do, they'll just ditch you afterwards. You are not over reacting. Everyone would get mad to.

[pitc9]

I've learned over the years to choose wisely who I call a friend. I used to call everyone a friend. No more!

IMO, those people are not your friends. If they were, they would have called you to let you know they were going and would have offered you a ride.

I've learned lessons the hard way and most recently I've lost 2 friends that I've been friends with since we were 7 years old. (I'm 32 now)
It hurts to loose friends, but you can't let your "friends" walk all over you and "crap" all over you.

The older you get... the less TRUE friends you have. But those few are the ones that will be your friends forever!

[sandragonfly]

quoted by pitc9
But those few are the ones that will be your friends forever!

..through thin and thick too!

you didn't had a ride! oh big deal. don't forget you have me. and a few of us.

[BC_MoM]

Well, three of the friends apologized, and I accepted.

Turns out the one I'm not shocked would do something like this told the rest that my sister and I didn't want to go, which is complete doodoo.

But the girl who said it messaged me saying that she never considered me a friend and that to stop saying stuff about her being sneaky and such. I haven't bad mouthed her to anyone, except to say that I'm not surprised she did this.

I don't know how the birthday party is going to go because she's invited. I might just still not go.

I really just want to smack this person.
She's so immature.

[slleipnir]

I wouldn't let her ruin your fun. If you want to go to the party, then go. Have fun, and ignore her if you have to. If she tries to say anything to "put you down" just laugh and walk off. I'm sure that will really annoy her that she's not bugging you

[Catty1]

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them more."

[Alysser]

Just forget about her, Jess. She isn't worth your time if she lies and makes stupid excuses like that. I lost my best friend of 8 years because she changed and became something she obviously isn't. She goes almost everywhere me and my friends go, we just ignore her. It's fun seeing her reaction to us being there.

[jennielynn1970]

I have no idea how old you all are, but what I've learned is that girls in high school, and middle school, can be pretty petty. Most of my friends in middle and high school were guys. They just didn't do all that drama crap that the girls did, and more than likely wouldn't turn around to stab you in the back.

I do have women that I'm friends with now, but still prefer the company of women who grew up like I did and didn't really care to be in the middle of a clique. I had friends all over the spectrum, and one or two good girl friends, but not more than that. The women I'm friends with now are more into politics and you can have a conversation with them without it revolving around only themselves. It's amazing what maturity and free thinking can do!

As the librarian at the middle school, I really try to play down these "Clique" novels, or the Nanny diaries and all that, because it's just a bunch of smut, girls acting like whores and not really being all that self assured, but just playing into the typical stereotypes. I hate that crap. The kids who are free thinkers and aren't exactly a cookie cutter image of the others are more of my favorite students.

Basically, if you get the feeling like the girl was being basically what a teen girl is "expected" to be in the culture, then just cut her out and deal with the girls who are treating you the way you want to be treated and the way you should be treating them in return. If you have fun, and honest with each other, and aren't being all bitchy and condescending to others, keep on keepin' on. If you're adding ammunition to the stereotype... well, then, get lost in the maze, or see the stereotypes for what they really are, and choose to be individual.