Surviving a desperate time.....

[sirrahbed]

I am recalling the times when we have had members post about very serious times in their lives, sharing depression and any number of terrific things that have hurt, caused pain and seemed to shatter lives for a period of time over the years...

What I am asking is that some of you could share specific actions that help get you through times that seem so painful and as if they will never end. It does not really matter if the emotional pain was from a death, a loss of a pet or friend, a tragic world event, a betrayal, etc.

I will list several things that have pulled me through a terrible time...and hopefully some of you will share ideas that someone else may need to hear and perhaps try. Maybe some of these ideas will stay in our minds in case we need to try them at a future time.

I will enjoy reading what may work for others and hope that these ideas will be interesting and helpful to all of us.

*put your hand on your heart and feel the heartbeat. Listen to breathing.

* stroke a pet...feel their heart beating. Be aware of the softness of their fur, the wetness of their nose, the fragileness or sturdiness of their bodyparts.

* cry in the shower. put your head against the tiles and feel the water rushing over you as you cry until you are very tired and think about becoming cleansed by the flow of tears and water.

* copy notes of encouragement from people who have made an effort to support you. read them over and over when you may feel alone and abandoned.

* feel textures. your pet, fabric, smooth stones...whatever may be near. concentrate on the feeling and texture.

* if possible, make and eat a simple, healthy meal. try to make yourself taste what is in your mouth and know it is nourishing your body. use foodcolor to make something simple look whimsical.

* visit a nursing home and hold hands with someone, stroke their hand and just sit

[mruffruff]

Remind yourself that there is a tomorrow that is better.

[CathyBogart]

The best advice I ever got from a dear friend was to repeat to myself "This too shall pass"....It doesn't sound like much, but I remember better times and tell myself "this too shall pass" until I believe it.

[Catsnclay]

All thoughout my life I have had a lot of medical problems & surgeries. There would me many of times that I came home crying from school, or upset because I was passed up for a job, etc.


My mother always told me to remember that there is always someone else out there that is worse off than I am. If you stop and think about it, it puts your problem(s) into a whole new light.

I have also heard the "And this too shall pass..." and that is correct.

What would life be without problems and conflicts?! I believe that we were put here with a purpose in life. We have to live our lives to the fullest, and to the best of our abilities. Never give up, there is always hope.


Also, petting your animal (any or all of my cats come in very handy for this) takes away the stress.

Pets are great, they have no idea what is happening around them, all they have to worry about is being fed, and attention from you. They know when you are sad or upset and comfort you to the best of their ablility.

Go hug your pet!!! The best stress reliever there is!!!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Go hug your pet!!! The best stress reliever there is!!!

I MUST "DITTO" that!! I have been having lots of pain lately; painkillers brought some relief every now and then; but what brought an instant smile to my face and a warm feeling in my heart, was finding several cats on my bed, giving me headbumpies and licking my hand

[Felicia's Mom]

I tell myself that things could be worse. For example: now I need to use a walker, but at least I can walk. I am not confined to a wheelchair.

I also believe that all things happen for a reason even if I don't like it. Things will work out: like the bible verse in my siggy says.

[columbine]

For me, it was very important to stay busy - cleaning out the filing cabinet, cleaning the attic, fixing something broken, just doing something with my hands. It kept me from staring into space and just feeling like there was no point in even moving.

[lizbud]

For me, it was very important to stay busy - cleaning out the filing cabinet, cleaning the attic, fixing something broken, just doing something with my hands. It kept me from staring into space and just feeling like there was no point in even moving.

I agree. You can't worry when you keep busy at some task. For me,
it's been the love & support of my whole family that's seen me through
some very rough times in my life.

I do use a worry stone my daughter gave me to help quiting smoking.

[Queen of Poop]

Way back in 1986 when my brother and sister died I had to be strong for my parents. That got me thru that, but with terrible survivors guilt.

When Sami, my first very own dog died, I got a notebook and I wrote down all the good, funny things that happened in our 12 years together. Like when she tricked me into taking off my gardening gloves to pet her. She grabbed a glove and raced around the yard, wouldn't give it back. I didn't want to ever forget her.

[joycenalex]

when i went through my end of my first relationship, after 12 years together, i had massive sleeping problems and panic attacks. i wish i had known to see a doctor. getting sleep and having a way to live through the panic attacks would have helped so much.

[caseysmom]

When my brother died and I had to handle a huge mess and the loss of him I had to take life one day at a time. Each day was compartmentalized and an accomplishment.

[DJFyrewolf36]

In times of trouble I try to remind myself that God has a plan for everything, and that He would never put me through anything that He didn't think I could handle. Sure, I may be feeling that I can't pull through but compared to Him what do I know? Giving the kitties a good pet never hurts either! Another thing that helps is that I tell someone I love them, letting someone else know that they are important to to me really lifts me up when I am down.

[micki76]

Y'all will never know how much I needed to read this.

Thank you!

[Karen]

When it involves anger (not grief or sadness) I have my surefire-for-me method. When I am stressed and angry, and cannot sleep because I am too worked up, I put my glasses back on, get a pencil or pen and a piece of paper, and make a list.

I make a list of things I hate. It always, always, always starts with "canned peas" even though I have not even encountered them for years. That's an all-abiding hate from childhood. It moves on from there, and includes anything that really annoys me, and eventually I even usually get down to what I am actually angry about, and by the end, I can relax and get to sleep.

[kitten645]

I agree with so many of these. I try to "live in an attitude of gratitude". When I think every thing is bad I try to stop and say...okay..do I have shoes on my feet? That's good..Do have clothes on my back? That's good..Do I have a roof over me? That's good. Do I have my cats that love me no matter what? That's good.
I take it from there and it helps me put my problems in perspective.