Got this from Scott Feschuk's blog - he has a column in every issue of MacLean's Magazine. www.scottfeschuk.com
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News item: A panel reviewing astronaut health issues in the wake of the Lisa Nowak arrest has found that on at least two occasions NASA astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so intoxicated that they posed a flight-safety risk.
The List
Warning Signs That The Astronaut Flying Your Space Shuttle May Be Drunk:
• All air sickness bags on board pre-filled with sickness.
• Fills glass with mostly vodka, just a little bit of Tang.
• Interrupts systems check during launch to make maudlin declaration to co-pilot that “you’re my best friend Barry.... Seriously, Barry, I love you man.”
• He banks the space shuttle violently to check out girl in tank top on sidewalk.
• You look at the markings on the rocket you’re in and realize you are a member of the Russian space agency.
• Stumbles through shuttle cabin muttering, “Whoa, this is a big simulator!”
• Autopilot frequently complains of sexual harassment.
• Insists payload specialist be replaced on board by licensed bartender.
• Destroys $300-million satellite by commandeering Canadarm to open his beer.
• After entering orbit, announces that he will be “turning down cabin lights, putting on soft music, and let's just see where it goes.”
• During final approach, announces intention to dock at the International Space Station “or that other fuzzy space station that's floating beside it.”
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