I have read this before, but it's always worth reading again
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
Keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of Escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropp ed its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
Condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
Could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
Confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this Means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
Tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this Again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
Seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
Guards regularly. I am certai n that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
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