Star Trek 10 -Journey to the Black Hole

[RICHARD]

da da da da -da da da da da...
DAAAAA-aaaaaaa


These are the voyages of the Star Ship Edward D Katz.
Who's 6 year mission has been to make his dad's life interesting.


-----------

Captain's Log...... Stardate 2007.....hmmmmmmmm, Wait a second.....


Captain!

The cat has come out of the box and he's acting weird...

Uhura, Open up a hailing frequency...

Captain, there's no reponse.

Spock: This activity is highly irregular.

Captain: What is that, Spock?

S: Looks like the planet Furranus, It's a class one planet of the Feline
System....

C: No, not the planet, what are those two dark specks near the tail end?

S: Captain, this is highly irregular....It looks like two CATSTEROIDS that came from the black hole!

Uhura: Captain! I'm picking up chatter- THEY ARE CLINGONS!!!!

C: Clingons? I have never seen CLINGONS in all the time I have been on this ship!

Sulu! Get a clean up party to beam down!

S: Cap'n......The transporter's broke! I ain't going near there!

C: This could be a trap!.....

[Fuzzybuns]

That's about the greatest thing I've read all month!

[RICHARD]

Spock: A trap? That's highly illogical. Why would a cat scooch on the tile after going to the cat box?

C: This calls for a medical opinion, Bones? Come to the bridge!

Bones: Jim, Give me a minute!

C: Scotty, what's with the transporter?

Scotty: Cap'n, It looks like we've entered the Cat Box Quadrant. THere's some kind of magnetic attraction those Clingons are generating. I think there's a problem with the cat's rear!

Bones: Scotty is right, somehow those Clingons have generated a biological gravity field and are orbiting Furranus!

C: We have to do something!

[DJFyrewolf36]

I'll have to stay tuned for the next episode This is too funy!

[Donnaj4962]

LOL!!!!

Loooking forward to the next "episode".

Is Ed okay???!!!

[RICHARD]

Spock: Captain, those Catsteroids are made of a bio matter that looks to be the consistency of digested Friskies!

C: Digested Friskies in this part of the system? It seems right, but....

Bones: The scooching! That's the key...Those Clingons are harmless-they aren't looking to hang around.....they want to be cut loose! They are caught on his fur!

C: We have had an away team trimming the fur on that planet just in the last few weeks.

Uhura: The last contact we had with them was a week ago, they were trying to clip the rear and tummy!

Sulu: Captain, He's making another scooching run! LOOK OUT!

C: Scotty, get that transporter up, we need to get down there!

Scotty: Aye, Cap'n- the dilithium crystals are going out! I'm gonna try some FRESH STEP Crystal Litter - New and Improved!

C: Sulu, where are you going?

Sulu: Ah, I forgot....Ah......I left the DVD player on in my quarters! I'd rather kiss the Borg that to get next to that mess....

[aki]

hahahahahahaha!

we call those clingons too! Richard, you are too funny!

~Aki

[Sevaede]

hehehe! Go get 'em guys!

[RICHARD]

Is Ed okay???!!!

Of course, it's the 'captain' that's suffering!


-----------------------
C: SULU! Get back here! Sulu, get back here! ugh....

Bones, get ready to beam down to Furranus!

Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a vet. Send Spock, he has no gag relfex!

C: Uhura, You go with Spock!

U: Captain, the script says I am the comm officer, not the cleaning lady!

C: What kinda space ship am I running here? Uhura, send this message to Star Fleet......"Next time send some people that own pets....Kirk."

[Pawla]

This is pretty funny! I've never been so creative, nor have I ever had so much fun with cat poop. LOL!

We call those clingons too! Richard, you are too funny!

We call those dingle-berries. I have to admit that I do like clingons, though!

[catmandu]

Once again Richard I salute your imagination and creativity as you threads are consistently the ones I think that we go to first. I think that if Enterprise had Edward instead of Scott Bakula that it would still be on.

[RICHARD]

Thanks!

--------

C: Sulu, I have an idea. Let's try a photon torpedo..Sulu?
Sulu? Bones?

Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a button pusher!

Uhura: I'm just the comm officer!

Spock: I have no emotions and no gag reflex!

C: FORGET IT....Scotty, get that transporter up, find some shop towels- I'll be there in a minute.

Scotty: The FRESH STEP crystals seem to be working!

-----------------------

At the transporter minutes later.

Scotty: Cap'n. the transporter is running- I found some shop towels!

C: Scotty, you have to get me as close to those catsteroids as possible!

Scotty: Aye Cap'n, but don't you think that's a might bit dangerous? I mean, If ya remember the Tribbles......they multiplied just like those catsteroids!

C: Don't be a dope, Scotty! I am going to cut them loose, not bring them back with me....

S: What about your gag reflex? What about protection? Your phaser?

C: I'd rather not use the phaser. That may ignite them and then what?

S: I see.... Ready to beam you down..

C: Energize!

[RICHARD]

C:Uhura, I'm near the rear quadrant of Furranus. I can see the catsteroids from here.

U: Be careful, they have been know to be kinda squishy?

C: No, these seem to be O.K. I've got the shop rag in my hand and am approaching now!

Spock: Sensors seem to be pciking up signs of another scooching.

C: I'll have to take my chances, I can't let another orbit happen- I just mopped the floor.

Here goes...

Static on the radio.

Uhura: CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN!

Spock: I can't hear anything!

Bones: JIM!

Fast breathing on the radio.

C: I'm O.K., I always hold my breath when I get near the catsteroids.
I've knocked one into orbit...it's reentering the Cat Box Quadrant...I'm going for number two...

Spock: The scooching levels are increasing!

C: I've got the tail...he's not fighting, but he's not cooperating either. He's gone down on his side.......oh, he's made eye contact with me.

Bones: Jim, Look out for the fangs!

C: Bones, you're a doctor, not a vet - Butt out, please? I think he's trying to make contact with me.......he's not talking, but...

He's telling me that he's thankful that I am here! Spock, are you picking up any readings?

Spock: It seems to be an old form of Domesticus Feline, common to all pet cats from the late 20th, early 21st century!

He says, "Thanks for cleaning up my rear end, Cripes, that has never happened to me before. That really sucks."

C: Tell him it's my pleasure, ah, maybe not.....tell him that we'll let him rest and send an away team later on to clip his fur...

Spock: He seems to be responding to the message. Are you ready to be brought back aboard?

C:When ever you are ready...

-------------------------

Back on board the bridge....

Spock: Job well done, Captain.

C: Thanks Spock..

Spock: That's O.K. I'll shake your hand later on...

C: Uhura, send a mesage to Star Fleet- Tell them that the catsteroids on Furranus have been neutralized and the Cat Box Quadrant is safe again.

Uhura: Aye-aye, Captain!

C: Bones, that was quite a adventure...Imagine that, I helped a cat get Clingons off of his fur!

Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a.....

C: I know, I know.......Go back to the infirmary.....get yourself a chill pill, O.K.?

Sulu, Set a course for home, warp factor 4.......

Sulu? SULU?

Spock: I think he's watching Battlestar Galactica in his quarters.....

C: SOMEONE, GET US OUT OF HERE!

--------------

No animals were hurt during the filming of this farce.