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Thread: What do you think of this?

  1. #1

    What do you think of this?

    I wrote a poem today. I haven't wrote a poem in ages, but after reading a few blogs my friends have written lately about love and their lack of (they are all hopeless romantics) I thought I would give it a go. It's just a simple poem I know, but what do you all think?

    Is it terrible? You can be honest.

    I sit alone all day
    pining for your touch
    the sweetness on your lips
    I miss it far too much
    the day turns into night
    my dreams bring thoughts of you
    you hold me close and whisper words
    but are they really true?
    I've been through this before
    I've heard it a thousand times
    so please be honest when you say
    your eyes reveal no lies
    you say you want true love
    someone to protect
    I'll give you all my love
    and even some respect
    I'll help you to forget
    and mend your broken heart
    you can help me too
    as mine's been torn apart
    together we will walk
    hand in hand we go
    happy as can be
    and everyone will know
    we'll sit back and relax
    and watch the green grass grow


    P.S. I think my friends are wearing off on me LOL.
    Fuzzies for Furries
    Northwest Opossum Society
    Zoology Major
    2 Virginia Opossums, 6 cats, 4 bearded dragons, 1 iguana, 1 red foot tortoise, 1 tripod chihuahua, 5 mice, dubia and hissing cockroaches as well as other misc animals that wander in and out of my home.

  2. #2
    No one has anything to say about it? I hope it's not too bad.
    Fuzzies for Furries
    Northwest Opossum Society
    Zoology Major
    2 Virginia Opossums, 6 cats, 4 bearded dragons, 1 iguana, 1 red foot tortoise, 1 tripod chihuahua, 5 mice, dubia and hissing cockroaches as well as other misc animals that wander in and out of my home.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Land of the Ducks...quack!
    Posts
    7,007
    I actually like it Its pretty in in its simplicity

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    14,038
    I think it's terrific. It really hits the nail on the head of what people are thinking and it rhymes very well. Great job!!


    I've been Boo'd...
    Thanks Barry!

  5. #5
    Oh thank you both! That makes me feel better.
    Fuzzies for Furries
    Northwest Opossum Society
    Zoology Major
    2 Virginia Opossums, 6 cats, 4 bearded dragons, 1 iguana, 1 red foot tortoise, 1 tripod chihuahua, 5 mice, dubia and hissing cockroaches as well as other misc animals that wander in and out of my home.

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