How could something so nice turn out so bad?

[catnapper]

I swear, my husband's sisters are the psycho twins of Pennsylvania!

We had plans on getting a family portrait of all 9 grandkids + Cameron together for Christmas for hubby's father. Nice idea, right?

Well, thanks to his sisters having no idea what they were doing, we made the photo studio reschedule two times, with today being appointment #3. It was for 12:20, and both sisters come in at 1:00 claiming thats when Ash said. Ummm, no, I heard Ashley tell them 12:20 and to be there at 12:00 to make sure everything was good.

So then, the deal was all boys wear red shirts with tan pants, and the girls to wear black or whte shirts and tan pants. Everyone wore jeans except my three (and Cam). Plus, they were wearing blue, green, etc. We went out and BOUGHT NEW SHIRTS just for this since they were adament the kids all coordinate! Like we have money to do that!

Then, because we all do Polyanna's in his family, we told my SIL that we'd buy Jay a red sweater for this photoshoot as his Polyanna gift since he didn't have a red shirt either. The girls gave SIL the shirt and she litterally tossed it back at the girls and said "Jay wouldn't wear this!" Ummm... no thanks? Just rudely tossing it back at Ashley? Thank goodness I kept the reciept!

Oh, it gets soooo much better from there. They finally got all settled, and took a series of shots. The first set was trashed by both SILs because they didn't like how their kids looked. So back to shooting a SECOND set. There was one everyone agreed on except my one SIL, and Ashley said, "I like that one, Jay's smiling in it" Jay FLIPPED on her, dropping F-word after F-word, in front of a dozen little kids. Screaming these curses at her at the top of his lungs, then his mom starts in on Ashley saying how she always has a smart mouth and puts down her kids. Huh? She merely said she liked that he was smiling! Then SIL began to berate all three of my kids, in full view of all the other families trying to get their photos taken.

Heather said to Ashley that she didn't need to sit around being screamed at and that she was leaving. Of course that sparked more fire in SIL who called hubby up to scream at him over what the kids did. Personally I think Heather was mature to leave clamly rather than fight back. Staying would be stupid because it would just give her more cause to scream at them. My kids are always darned if they do and darned if they don't with my inlaws.

Sorry to write this novel. I can't stand how my inlaws and hubby keeps letting them step all over us. Christmas Eve shold be interesting at their house this year!

[borzoimom]

I uh would have had a few other words... Good grief.. I am speechless people could be so tacky... jeez.. Next time- or maybe this time, just your family.. and cursing in front of children??? jeez..
You go right a head and vent.... I agree to the vent!

[joycenalex]

i don't know what a pollyanna is? who is jay and how old is he? and now that it's beyond clear that your SILs are not good about time issues, tell them anything is a half hour earlier then it is, if you plan on having future contact with them. and may i suggest at christmas, you travel with your 4 in one car, your hubby inanother, so if HE wants to stay at his parents when the SILS go nuts again (and they will) you and yours can leave and go back to your home for an family celebration. ((HUGS)) to you, dysFUNctional familys' put the FUN in the holidays, almost

[caseysmom]

Don't even get me started about family. I am so fed up, nobody will even take my niece for a week so I can get my sanity back. I have had her for 4 months with not one offer of help of any kind. They just tell me to throw her out on the street....geez I wouldn't do that to an animal why would I do that to my niece.

[TamanduaGirl]

when I was in another city they had a momma sanity program where parent could come and drop off their kids no charge for the day or even a week if they really needed a break, at no cost. It was in hopes of trying to prevent child abuse but I be your name gets on a list of something when you do it. But the state/city probably has some sort of service to help.

[catnapper]

Jay is 21 and a major jerk. Totally selfish and out of control. For his polynana gift, which is like a secret santa, I jokingly told the kids that the only thing he'd have use for is marajuana or a new bong. He came over last week smelling so strongly of pot that we nearly choked on the thickness of it.

The other daughter was arguing as well (but I didn't mention her part of the story) is 3 months pregnant and has no idea who the father is - at least Ashley knew exactly who the father was and she had been dating him a year (never thought I'd say somethign nice about him! LOL) There she was, shooting off her mouth (as usual) where it didn't affect her.

tell them anything is a half hour earlier then it is

That is why Ash told then to be there at 12:00 instead of the 12:20 time.

[moosmom]

Wow. What a fiasco. I think Heather had the right idea by getting up and walking out. No one has the right to berate anyone that way. I do hope the pictures came out nice though. Good friends are God's way of apologizing for bad relatives. Merry freaking Christmas, girlfriend!!

[jackmilliesmom]

Hell I thought my crowd could be bad but oooohhhh mother what a mess - you and your family should just do your own thing in future and pardon my language but screw the rest of them. I myself have had it up to my neck with families. My mother is putting the guilts on me because I do not want to spend Christmas Day with her when my brother who is married is spending it with her and his wife is going to her parents for Christmas Day - ehhhh hello married couples should we not spend it together???????? We are all relatively newly weds my brother married this year and I last year so spending the day together should be - right????? I said I would come up and visit in the afternoon or the morning and she threw a wobbler but never mind your troubles are worse and if I was you I kick my husband in the rear end and get him to say something seeing as they are his family..........

[catnapper]

Jackmilliesmom, wow, I agree that married folk shold spend Christmas together. Most families agree to spend either Christmas Eve with one family, then Christmas Day with another or one year with one family and next year with the other. Sounds strange that they'd spend their first Christmas apart.

Apparently, the other sister called last night (she wasn't involved in the fight at all) and confirmed exactly what had happened. I KNEW my kids were telling the truth! I can always tell when they are exaggerating to make their side look better or if they are telling the story accurately. Anyway, the other sister was amazed at the display her sister and nephew put on. She said that Jay was so stoned out of his head that you can even tell in the photos. I won't even comment on my feelings over the fact that he drove himself to the session while high as a kite.

The SIL who screamed at my girls is supposed to be having Christmas Eve at her house and neither of the girls want to go. I never wanted to go because
A) she's a lousy cook but thinks she's Julia Childs, and we'll end up stopping at McDonalds on the way home (isn't MickyD's your idea of a wonderful Christmas Eve meal?)
B) her dog pees wherever he wants, and SIL doesn't even try to properly potty train him
C) There are no seats in the house. We all sit on the floor or lean against walls. I'm NOT sitting on a pee spot!
And now
D) I don't want to fight, not on Christmas Eve.

[ramanth]

Yikes!!

We just had a huge family portrait taken this weekend too but it did not go down like that.

So sorry your kids had to deal with that. I would of hoped the studio would of kicked the loudmouths out.

[jackmilliesmom]

Jackmilliesmom, wow, I agree that married folk shold spend Christmas together. Most families agree to spend either Christmas Eve with one family, then Christmas Day with another or one year with one family and next year with the other. Sounds strange that they'd spend their first Christmas apart.

Apparently, the other sister called last night (she wasn't involved in the fight at all) and confirmed exactly what had happened. I KNEW my kids were telling the truth! I can always tell when they are exaggerating to make their side look better or if they are telling the story accurately. Anyway, the other sister was amazed at the display her sister and nephew put on. She said that Jay was so stoned out of his head that you can even tell in the photos. I won't even comment on my feelings over the fact that he drove himself to the session while high as a kite.

The SIL who screamed at my girls is supposed to be having Christmas Eve at her house and neither of the girls want to go. I never wanted to go because
A) she's a lousy cook but thinks she's Julia Childs, and we'll end up stopping at McDonalds on the way home (isn't MickyD's your idea of a wonderful Christmas Eve meal?)
B) her dog pees wherever he wants, and SIL doesn't even try to properly potty train him
C) There are no seats in the house. We all sit on the floor or lean against walls. I'm NOT sitting on a pee spot!
And now
D) I don't want to fight, not on Christmas Eve.

Personally I would bring a chair and plonk myself in the middle of the floor and sit there throughout and then say right gang you still hungry Micky D's it is then as you were leaving but then thats just me I can be very outspoken.

I would just love to be a fly on the wall for that one just to see the reaction as for this Jay guy if I knew where he would be at a certain time and I would be pretty sure he would be stoned and about to drive home or somewhere else I would telephone the police and get them to pull him over it would be worth it just for the satisfaction of knowing he got what was coming to him.

So just keep us informed of the goings on would love to know the outcome of the Christmas Eve or build up to it.....

[cyber-sibes]

You really don't have to put up with this abusive behavior unless you choose to. It may be time to confront the reality of these relationships, and not expose your own children to controlling and abusive behavior of these lunatics. Of course, it does let them know exactly who these people are!

Sounds to me like it's time to draw the line in the sand and stay on your own side. Define your own "holiday tradition" and stick to it! You may have a few of these relatives ticked off with you, but so what? They have no respect for you anyway.

[kuhio98]

The SIL who screamed at my girls is supposed to be having Christmas Eve at her house and neither of the girls want to go. I never wanted to go because
A) she's a lousy cook but thinks she's Julia Childs, and we'll end up stopping at McDonalds on the way home (isn't MickyD's your idea of a wonderful Christmas Eve meal?)
B) her dog pees wherever he wants, and SIL doesn't even try to properly potty train him
C) There are no seats in the house. We all sit on the floor or lean against walls. I'm NOT sitting on a pee spot!
And now
D) I don't want to fight, not on Christmas Eve.

Don't go! Call them and cancel. If you go, it's like you are saying you are okay with they way they treat you and your kids.

[moosmom]

I agree with CyberSives and Kuhio98. You don't need that kind of abuse and if you do go, it's sending out the message that you're okay with it. Like Cyber-Sibes said, start your own family tradition. It's never too late.

[lizbud]

You really don't have to put up with this abusive behavior unless you choose to. It may be time to confront the reality of these relationships, and not expose your own children to controlling and abusive behavior of these lunatics. Of course, it does let them know exactly who these people are!

Sounds to me like it's time to draw the line in the sand and stay on your own side. Define your own "holiday tradition" and stick to it! You may have a few of these relatives ticked off with you, but so what? They have no respect for you anyway.

I really have to agree with Pat on this. I would hope you would take this to heart & make the change.

Thank God, non of my family acts this way to each other, but if it did
happen, I would not let my children or myself be exposed to that abuse.