Note from Roommate

[jennifert]

I came home from my second job on Friday evening at around 11pm after 15 hours of work and this is the note that was on my dresser:

"Jen-

Duncan was let out, Duncan was played with, Duncan was given treats and pet with love. He attacked Jack twice. The second time he ripped Jack's ear. I can't live with him and I don't want to watch him while you're at work anymore. I love you and always will but this is just f*ed up at this point. He needs to find a new home. You can stay."

Nice right! I was furious and upset to say the least. SHe doesn't own the house and has no authority to kick anyone out first of all!!!

Secondly, she doesn't have to "watch" him while I'm at work. I make special arrangements with both jobs so that I can go home on days I have to work at both places (Thurs & Fri) and take him out and feed him dinner. He doesn't need to be "watched" He's not a toddler! He LIVES there and so does she. All she has to do is be in the same house as him!! I have made sure his needs are met, what does she need to do?

Third, I do feel bad about Jack getting hurt. You all know that I love Jack and hate to see him suffer. BUT...she does stupid things and that is why Jack is getting bit by Duncan....She refuses to admit that Duncan is the alpha dog and still clings to the flimsy belief that Jack is the boss, he is just a laidback boss....
She tries to force him into the roll and he doesn't want it and then fights break out. For example, when one person is home with both dogs and the person is sitting in the living room on the couch, Duncan is on the couch and Jack is on the floor. If you try to get them both on the couch, a fight will sometimes break out. It's hard to explain but little weird things like that will sometimes set off a fight. And Duncan is the aggressor but I think he's jsut trying to establish his dominance. They arent' trying to kill each other, just usually alot of snarling, growling and snapping. You see the difference between my roommate and myself is that I don't try to force them into any roll or treat them like children. I try to treat them like dogs and let them work it out and I have only been witness to one fight in the last six months and that was over a bone. I dont' know....

Anyway, did she REALLY, for one second, think I was going to get rid of Duncan???? Especially because she "told" me too!?!? She must be off her medication!!!!!

So long story short, she apologized the next day but I still haven't spoken to her and I need to get a place for just Duncan and myself. I can't live with this unstability. Duncan and I will both be happier with our own space. I will finally be able to give him squeaky toys!!!!

[ramanth]

ACK!!!!

That is just horrible!!!

I've been getting the same "subliminal" messages from my parents since I'm having such a hard time finding an apartment in my budget that allows a dog of Kia's size.

They won't tell me to get rid of her. They know I won't. They just like to complain about it I guess.

Best of luck to you Jenn.

*HUGS*

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Oh, Jenni! I hate to hear that you and Duncan are having a hard time with your roommate. It must be very difficult on you. It breaks my heart that Jack has gotten hurt, but from what you write, your roommate is to balme.

I think it has always been a general consenus that your roommate is an idiot! And quite a rude one too! Who was living there first? If you were there first, may I suggest that she needs to move! Otherwise, you may want to look for a place for you and Duncan to go to. If infact Jack is getting hurt by Duncan for whatever reason, separating the two is the best solution. Drake is aggressive towards other dogs sometimes. But I have learned to stay out of it. Within 5 minutes, they will establish amongst themselves who is the alpha and all is well after that!

Have you thought of reloating? What kind of work do you do? How far are you willing to commute to and from work?

Here's a tip for you and Kimmy with the apartment hunt. Check out the classifieds. There are tons of listings there. That's how I found the house I live in. If you rent from an independant landlord, there's a good chance that they will allow dogs. Plus you make find a place with a fenced in yard! If you do so, insist on signing a lease and be sure it is clear on who takes care of repairs, etc...

[slleipnir]

Thats horrible :[
I don't know how anyone could said "Get rid of your dog but you can stay" ok..?!
Good luck with things :]

[sabies]

Jenn & Kimmy,

I can totally relate to the apartment situation. It is very tough to find an affordable place with a dog. I am in the process of moving to a new place and my choices were severely limited due to my little beast. On a brighter note, because of the economy rents have gone down a bit at least in my area (in no way do I mean plenty places were affordable!). It's a pain in the butt I know but call every ad you see in the paper. As Souraya said, independent landlords are your best bet, and her lease advice is right on - make sure all info is written in the lease!!! Take pictures and be thorough in recording the move-in condition so you don't get ripped off!!

Jenn - good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know how hard you've worked with Duncan and I know you know how to handle the 2 dogs, I just wish your roommate would listen to you. Her note sounds harsh and it sounds like she's more obsessed with being dominant than either dog.

[mugsy]

Well, of course I'm biased, but I was thinking of you guys last night as I was driving past one of the local apartment complexes. They have a deal running right now of $99 down, first month free, AND they are pet friendly. It's in a really nice part of town (almost within walking distance of what I refer to as the "snob mall", my sister refers to it as a glorified strip mall, lol, AND almost within walking distance of Petsmart!! lol

Seriously, I wish you best of luck in finding a place. I am the same way as Souraya, are either one of you guys willing to relocate?? Do your jobs tie you to your towns??

[tatsxxx11]

I'm so sorry to hear this Jennifer! What a spot to be put in. I hope that someday soon you can be in a "home" of your own where you won't have to deal with attitudes like that. You and Duncan are the BEST!! I'm sorry you had to come home to that!! You're #1 in my book!!

[Cincy'sMom]

What a horrible spot to be in! You definatly need to find a new place to live...easier said then done I know!! But it must be so hard for you to live with someone who is constantly on you about your dog. Hope things work out for you soon!

[jennifert]

Thanks for all the encouragement and good wishes everyone! Sometimes, I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kindness and caring on this board. There are so many people here who are honest-to-goodness, deep-down GREAT people. It shouldn't amaze me but it does. I have come to the realization the past few months that the majority of people that I deal with everyday and in fact, a large portion of my "friends" and acquaintances, are always looking out for themselves and what they can get from other people, including me! (Don't ask why it took me until I was 30 yrs old to figure this out because I dont' know!!!)
Here, however, are the best people in the world! Who genuinely care about others and aren't afraid to say so...It means a great deal to me, it really does....

OK, now that that is off my chest...enough being mushy!!
I hope to get Duncan and I in our own place by August. I'm not sure yet how or where but we'll work something out. You hit the nail right on the head Jenn, she IS more interested in being dominant than the dogs are....She wants to be boss of everything and everyone....I usually ignore her but now that she has brought Duncan into the foray, I'm fighting back! I can't forgive and forget this little incident. It's disrespectful to me and to Duncan and I'll "play nice" until I get out of there but I'm done with the whole scene and her.

All I really need to be happy is a little cozy apartment where Duncan and I can live a peaceful, quiet life with none of this "drama"

Thanks again everyone! Love, Jennifer and Duncan

[nsweezie]

Oh, I have such sympathy for you!
I had a room mate once who really hated my cat Scooter, for no good reason.
She had a cat, RJ who was poorly trained, and was always jumping on the counters, killing plants and picking fights with my other cat Clyde. And whenever anything was broken Scooter got the blame insted of RJ.
She is a big part of the reason that I now live with my sister! My sister LOVES Scooter, and has 4 cats and a dog of her own, so I knew that Scooter, Clyde and I would fit in well.

[Gio]

Good luck in finding a new home for yourself and Duncan. I agree that getting out of there is the best solution for you, even though your roommate is being nice now. Writing something like that when she knows how much you care for Duncan was out of order. I feel sorry for Jack though.