I'm really heart broken tonight and need some good thoughts, please. Mark's Mom is back in the hospital and it really isn't looking good. (Some of you may remember that she almost died last September, but she bounced back and had a pretty good year.) She has multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone) and just went through a total hip replacement because the cancer has eaten the bone away.

Anyway, we have gone to visit her every night for the last week, and it is getting harder and harder to keep a happy face on. She is really down tonight, and she told us that Dad is really upset, even crying.

I don't even know how to convey how special of a person this is. She has never ever treated me like a "daughter-in-law" but rather a "daughter-in-love". She has one of the biggest hearts you can imagine, and as I realize that this might be the end, I just feel shattered inside. She was such a steady foundation, a rock in my life, someone that I leaned on, and I can't believe that it is all getting taken away before my eyes.

And as I am dealing with my own grief, I have no idea, NO IDEA how to help Mark through his grief. He's hurting inside and that kills me too.

Is life always this difficult?? How are we ever gonna get through this time???