Decision making time...

**moosmom** · 09-10-2005, 11:00 AM

First off, I am officially , and I do mean O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L-L-Y done with fostering. Aside from Parker who's "grandfathered" in, I am not taking in anymore cats. PERIOD.

This might be a little long, but I feel the need to explain, and hope at the end of this post, you'll understand.

I've been having problems with Tabitha AND LilEli. LilEli HATES Tabitha and is constantly attacking her. He is not happy at all with being inside either. There is also the problem with Tabitha's inappropriate peeing and pooping problem that has been getting worse the past few weeks, no matter what I do.

I've talked to my vet about "T" and she said that a 7 year old potty issue cannot be corrected. It is a behavioral issue. She suggested trying something to spray on the litter to entice her to go in the box. Then she suggested the "e" word. I've been sick as a dog with a very bad cold and sat up all night crying trying to figure out a solution that would bring my once happy home with stressed out cats, back to being happy and calm again. I thought of euthanasia (please forgive me). But Tabitha and LilEli are such great cats and didn't deserve the life they were dealt. I did everything I possibly could to find them homes.

I stopped by farms on my way to work to see if they'd take LilEli as a mouser. There were no takers.

I feel like Catnapper. I'm physically and emotionally drained trying to help out cats who need it.

Now for the GOOD news

When I got up this morning, I remembered a friend of mine who I used to work with at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Her son has a HUGE farm complete with cows, goats, sheep, heated barn, etc. His nickname is "Dr. Doolittle". I called Patty and told her my situation. She gave me Val's number and I talked to him. (He LOVES MooShoo) Val said absolutely NO problem!!!!! Tabitha is going to be an indoor/outdoor cat, which will most likely alleviate her litterbox issue. LilEli will be where he wants to be...outside, running around, chasing little furry animals and having a wonderful life. BOTH of them will have great lives, I know it in my heart.

So tomorrow I'm meeting up with Patty and she'll be taking them to their new furrrrever home in the UP of Michigan.

To Diane, Jason and Lynne Stannkard,

I am so sorry I couldn't keep Tabitha. But I can assure you that this home is going to be great for them both, and I'll be able to keep tabs on them as well. Please forgive me.

**CalliesMom** · 09-10-2005, 11:10 AM

Donna-

(((HUGS))). We know you have done all that you can trying to make LilEli and Tabitha happy. You truly love your cats and have done more than most "owners" would have. I think you have made the right decision and I wish the very best to Tabitha and LilEli in their new home.

**catnapper** · 09-10-2005, 11:13 AM

Oh Donna, as you know, I am in the same boat. When you care for cats like we do, those of us in rescue know how utterly exhausting it can be. I don't know how Jan does it... she keeps on going while the rest of us burn out on just 3 or 4 fosters. I think I'd have seriously lost my mind by now if I worked outside of the home - or would it have helped me since I would actually get out instead of being locked in the stinky smelly house with hissy Pouncer?

Anyway, FABULOUS news about the farm! Woohoo! I know it kills you to rehome them. I do know you tried EVERYTHING. You investigated every idea and trick to see they just didn't work in the case of these two kitties. Trying is all we can do.

For those of you not in rescue.... imagine giving your whole heart to these cats, loving them, caring for them, tryign to figure out what makes them tick... all the while trying to make your own personal cats happy that new cats come and go all the time. There's so much guilt tied to it, and yet you are compelled to help because you kow you make a difference in the lives of the cats you help. I never expected fostering to be so emotional and exhausting. After all, whats one more mouth to feed? What an extra litterbox to scoop? It goes so far beyond extra food and litter. You get your hopes up when someone is interested... you get your heart broken when they walk away.

Oh, I am rambling, forgive me. I am just emotionally spent right now and trying to explain to non-rescuers just what happens and how we reach this breaking point.

**moosmom** · 09-10-2005, 11:21 AM

Kim,

You said it just right. It's NOT just about scooping an extra cat box and feeding an extra mouth. All of your heart and soul goes into rescuring.

Bless you, Kim and ALL of the wonderful rescue people on this site who give of themselves totally and so unselfishly so a stray, abused, abandoned, unwanted cat can feel the love so many others never will.

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Donna

**jenluckenbach** · 09-10-2005, 01:40 PM

Donna, I think you did a FABULOUS thing in finding a new home for Tabitha and Eli. The truth is they may well be happier in this type of environment. (and that it a hard thing for a person to admit. Everyone hopes to be the perfect home for their beloved pets, but sometimes we aren't.

) You have simply done your job........you have taken a cat from a situation that was not ideal, housed them, loved them and kept them safe...........and found them the place of their dreams to live out their life. Fostering doesn't always happen within a week, ya know, sometimes it takes a bit longer.

I say CONGRATULATIONS and don't be sad. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

**Karen** · 09-10-2005, 02:31 PM

The farm sounds like an ideal solution for both of them. I remember PMing you once, and asking if Tabitha might want to be a barn cat in NH, but Michigan's UP is far closer for you anyway!

And as they are already spayed and neutered, respectively, and are otherwise healthy, and are going to the home of an animal lover, I think it's ideal. Rest your weary heart.

**krazyaboutkatz** · 09-10-2005, 06:29 PM

Donna, I just wanted to say that I too know that you've done everything possible for Tabitha and Eli. This new home sounds just perfect for them.

I hope that everything goes well.

**sirrahbed** · 09-10-2005, 06:34 PM

It sounds like a wonderful and happy plan for both Tabitha and LilEli. Please try not to feel bad or guilty Donna! Your decision sounds like the very best for everyone ((((HUGS))))

**NoahsMommy** · 09-10-2005, 06:35 PM

Awww, sweet Donna.

I'm so sorry I wasn't around when you called yesturday. I would have tried to make you feel better. ((((hugs))))

You've done the best by these two. A farm sounds lovely!

They'll be happy and healthy...you've done an excellent job by them.

Love,
Kelly

**doolittleky** · 09-10-2005, 06:53 PM

Donna,
I am so sorry that Tabitha and Eli just couldn't get along . I know that must have been a tough decision for you and I am glad that you found a great home for them both.
Melissa

PS I am dying to ask you about the sphynx's rescues but don't want to bug you. lol

**momcat** · 09-10-2005, 07:50 PM

Not to worry, Moosmom. You did a marvelous job and you shouldn't consider this a failure in any way. Sometimes the right decisions are the hardest to make. You gave Tabitha and LilEli everything you possibly could to make them happy and let them know they were loved. Adopting them out to a farm where they can run around, play, and be with other kinds of animals is showing them you love them enough to want only the very best for them. You're giving them a chance for a wonderful life. Thank you for a job well done!!!!!

**G535** · 09-10-2005, 08:12 PM

You foster guys do a great job and I'm sure every rescued cat who has lived with you feels the same way.

**rg_girlca** · 09-10-2005, 08:18 PM

Originally posted by momcat
Not to worry, Moosmom. You did a marvelous job and you shouldn't consider this a failure in any way. Sometimes the right decisions are the hardest to make. You gave Tabitha and LilEli everything you possibly could to make them happy and let them know they were loved. Adopting them out to a farm where they can run around, play, and be with other kinds of animals is showing them you love them enough to want only the very best for them. You're giving them a chance for a wonderful life. Thank you for a job well done!!!!!

I couldn't agree more with what Momcat has said.
You do what you have to do to make a better life for them and you did just that.

You tried your best and that's what counts.

**catmandu** · 09-10-2005, 08:19 PM

I AM SO GLAD,THAT THIS KINDLY DOCTOR,HAS ROOM,FOR THOSE TWO CATS,AND THAT YOUR CATS,WILL BE MORE RELAXED,NOW.
I KNOW,THATS A TOUGH DECISION,AS I HAVE REHOMED POUNCETTE,GARY AND IVON,AND A CAT,THAT I HATED,TO PART WITH RAGNAR,THE MAINE COON.
BUT YOU HAVE,TO DO WHAT,IS BEST,FOR ALL CONCERNED,AND THAT SI THAT THEY,HAVE THE BEST LIFE,POSSIBLE.

GOD BLESS YOU,FOR CARING.