hey don juan here my mom has been watching and listening and reading news about those terrorists she said that's why she likes cats because we use only the weapons god gave us
and i found out about how the hoomin police are trying to catch all those bad terrorists but they are really hard to find so i though i'd help out by looking under our apartment building it's a perfect place to hide nice and cool and dark
trouble is mom gets all bent out of shape when i go in there to hunt for terrorists and tries to get me out again and she put a piece of cardboard over the entrance like that's gonna keep the terrorists in there so i had to wait until i was in the yard with zerlina and mom was busy on the computer
sure nuff soon as i got in the cave mom was at the entrance calling me and trying to get me out and tempting me with salmon bagel spread and a feather but i'm a good patriotic american cat so i wasn't gonna come out until i'd checked every corner of that cave
she put zerlina in the bedroom don't know why she did that zerlina never wants to go in the cave she's a scaredy cat ha ha
well finally she gave up and went back in the house and that's when i came out of the cave but does she thank me for keeping her and all the other hoomins and cats and even the dogs safe no she takes me back in the house and gets one of those wet tissue things and rubs me all over even my face and all of my feet and my tail and it made me smell funny and messed up my fur took a good half hour to get it all back in place and i'm still working on it now but i can be a hero and look good just ask that hoomin james bond
haven't heard from the hoomin president yet i think i should get a medal for bravery not the one dr j gave me for not biting him when i got the rabies shot and maybe some extra treats mom says i'm just gonna get a bungee cord for when i go outside like her sisters cat misty but misty is 15 yrs old dont know why she's gonna treat me like an old lady
yr friend don juan
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