Serious behavior problem with Butter

[Logan]

I really need some one on one help from someone who has dealt with an unpredictable and aggressive cat. This is not about his behavior with me, which is good most of the time, and not so good at other times as you all know. This has to do with what he has started doing to Mimi and I am frankly quite scared about it. He could kill her if he wanted to. We know of two incidents so far where he literally "jumped" her, the second much worse than the first, and that one happened yesterday. Why in the world, after over 4 years of living with us, is he doing this? Does he detect a weakness in her that was not there before? She is old and she is slowing down............. Sallyanne, this reminds me so much of what you dealt with when you had Ti. I understand that situation even better now that I am dealing with it, too.

I have already consulted with my vet, today, as a matter of fact. I had Butter in because he has once again torn up his legs. I'll go through what Dr. Robinson had to say if one or more of you would be willing to talk me through this.

I want to talk with someone on the phone. If you think you can offer me some advice and wouldn't mind spending some time discussing this with me, please, please, please send me a PM with your phone number. I can call during the day or at night. I just need to do something soon and my options are very limited.

I am very upset about this, as is my husband. Right now, we are forcing one to be outside when the other is inside. I don't know what else to do, but long term, this is not a viable solution.

I'm sorry to make this private plea in such a public way, but I didn't know what else to do. Please send a good thought that Mimi will be safe and that I will find a way to deal with this boy, please.

Logan

[catnapper]

I am so sorry! I have no advice, but I hope somebody will know how to handle the situation. {{{HUGS}}} and good luck! I know somebody will be able to help!

[sasvermont]

Hi Logan.

What can I say. I think some animals can sense when another one is weak or has weaknesses. Ti was fine with Miley until she displayed some timidness, then it all began. Once Ti discovered her weird personality, he cashed in on it. Juni is doing the same thing with Miley now, but Juni is not as powerful as Ti was. Miley is really the problem. She is the one that submits to the aggression.

Anyway, right before I gave Ti away to a new and wonderful home, where he is matched with another strong male kitty, I had gotten in touch with a cat/animal behaviorist and had sceduled an appointment to have her come out and witness the behaviors. After all the vet bills etc. get Miley repaired, I decided to just rehome Ti and that Miley was more important to me than Ti. It was difficult, but I did it.

If your household is fine, except for Butter, then I would consider either having a behaviorist come out or giving Butter some drugs for awhile, to calm him down or maybe re-homing him.

Isn't it the worst thing in the world to witness? I was horrified each time I would see Ti go after Miley. Juni is less mean to Miley - but still gets her goat every chance she can. Miley runs and hides and Juni just keeps it up. Like I said, it is Miley with the issues.

[Logan]

Thank you for your input, Sallyanne. I thought of your situation immediately when this all started up. The one thing that is out of the question is rehoming Butter, though. Even if he was an only cat or had an equally strong fellow cat, he is a liability because of what he will do, without cause, to a human. If my children were any younger, I could not have him. Helen is the only one of the three that is even willing to get near him. He has never bitten her. I have personally spoken with every single neighbor on our street and forewarned them that no matter how nice he seems, that they need to not touch him. He truly is a liability. **sigh**

For all these years, as soon as Mimi would hiss at him, he would back away. He has always tried to get her to play with him, but she has always let him know that she will not. All of the sudden, just like you describe, he has realized that she can't do anything to him, and that's when these attacks started. He has not injured her, thank goodness. I can't believe I even thought of this, but I actually asked Dr. Robinson about declawing him this morning if that was my only option. He said that it wouldn't solve the problem. He is still bigger, stronger and those teeth alone are lethal. We did not talk about medicating him. Maybe that is a possibility.

I'm "thinking outloud" and would appreciate any constructive input from anyone who has ideas. You all know how I love that boy and 95% of the time, he is a social, fun boy. We really do love him. But if he were to injure 16 year old Mimi, it would kill my soul. I would never be able to forgive myself.

Logan

[NoahsMommy]

Logan,

I'm going to start making some notes of a few suggestions for when you call me later on.

Lots of hugs,
Kelly

[rosethecopycat]

I think an animal behaviorist would be of help.
(not an animal psychic )

Try putting a bell on Butter. That will give Mimi warning as he approaches.
Also, try confusing thier scents by putting a drop or two of real vanilla at the base of thier tails. (on the top side, not by the butt)
It sounds like you have a potential 'pariah' cat situation.

I would have Mimi to the vet as well. I think that in the animal kingdom, they can smell weakness, through disease or injury.



Sorry, I can't be of more help.

That is a very scary scenario. After years of cohabitation.

[Vermontcat]

Logan, I'm so sorry to hear that Butter is being so mean to sweet Mimi.
I would keep them separated for now and try a behaviorist like Sallyanne said.
If Butter is not behaving by next week I could always give him or Mimi a ride to Vermont for a little vacation.
I will probably e-mail you later tonight, I'm on my way out the door to my daughter's riding lesson now. Hugs to you.

[catmandu]

I HAD THAT PROBLEM,WITH POUNCETTE,AS SHE WAS EXPECTING,AND LITERALLY,TORE INTO THE OTHER CATS.
I HAD,TO REHOME HER,AS SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SUPER PROTECTIVE,OF HER KITTENS.
I AM SORRY,TO HEAR,THAT BUTTER,IS THAT AGRESSIVE,SOMETIMES THEY FIGHT,TO SEE WHO,GETS THE MOST LOVE,AND PETS,FROM THIER GUARDIANS.
MAYBE FELIWAY,CAN HELP.

I PRAY,THAT BUTTER,BECOMES HIS OLD SELF,SOON.

[jenluckenbach]

I am SO sorry you are facing this. The only situation that I have experienced that is even remotely close to your situation is how foster Pumpkin bullies certain (but not all) of the other fosters.

At this point, the only thing I can suggest is medicine for Butter and hope that it works.

Best of luck! Keep us posted.

[momcat]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with Butter. Has your vet checked him to rule out a medical reason for his behavior?

[catland]

I'm so sorry about your situation.

I've been dealing with issues since we took in Strauss last January - he and Sid were getting into some bad fights, with Sid always being the loser.

So now I have a bell on Strauss's collar and I think its helping. He's a little less sure of himself now that he can't pounce on Sid unannounced.

I've also noticed that most of the jealousy occurs when we're in the room. Its like they are vying for attention. I started giving Strauss "time-outs" - locked in a back bedroom, when he got in one of these moods and it has helped also.

[Pam]

Oh Logan. I didn't realize this was going on and am so sorry to hear it. My first thought was that maybe Butter senses that Mimi is not well and is taking advantage of her. I really didn't even think that I would offer that up as a suggestion but when I read rosethecopycat's remarks I thought maybe it is worth pursuing.

Maybe she is just fine physically (I certainly hope so) and Butter is just sensing her slowing down and is throwing his weight around. I really have no thoughts that would be helpful but I just wanted you to know that I am worrying right along with you. Mimi has been a favorite of mine for years now; so beautiful, dignified and such a long time companion for you through all of your life challenges. I do hope there is an answer out there. If anyone can help you, PTers can. (((hugs)))

[Logan]

Pam, I think you and the others have probably hit the nail on the head about Mimi's slowing down and him finally realizing that she is "weak". She is due for her annual shots and checkup anyway, and I am going to call tomorrow morning and see if I can get her in to see Dr. Robinson on Friday and just have her completely checked, although with a 16 year old cat, it could likely just be the fact that she is slowing down.

By the way, for whoever suggested it, Butter does wear a bell, not only to protect the birds, but to protect Mimi, too. So we have that one covered. Thankfully, her hearing is very keen, still, so she does hear him coming. And all of this aggressive behavior is occuring when they are both outdoors, never inside the house. These cats are both a bit "aloof", not under our feet the way the dogs are, but both are quite social and like to be in the room where we are, but neither get that close to us, to tell you the truth, even when the other one is around.

I had a nice long talk with Kelly tonight, too. She has made some wonderful suggestions, as you all have. While we're checking out options, including medicating him, we're going to make a very strong effort to keep them seperated unless we're right there with them.

Keep the suggestions coming if you have them. I need all the help I can get. I know everyone "loves" Butter and he is a doll, most of the time, but I don't think I can properly describe what he is capable of with those teeth and claws. I had one of those "bad boy" tomcats (big, orange fellow) when I was growing up, and even he was nothing compared to this one. I told Kelly tonight that I can handle many bites and wounds to myself and just live with it, but in reality, other humans, including my children and my neighbor's children, are at risk and if any one of those people or Mimi were injured by him, I could never, ever forgive myself.

Logan

[rg_girlca]

The first thing that crossed my mind was what some others had already said. The fact that maybe Butter can detect that Mimi is not well.
I find that interesting though that all the aggression happens outside and not inside. Just guessing here, but, could it be a territorial thing?

I am so sorry that this has happened and it must be so frustrating not knowing why, especially having it happen after 4 years of them together.

I wish you all the best of luck with this complicated situation and that it can be resolved in some way.

((((((HUGS))))))

[krazyaboutkatz]

Logan, I'm so sorry to hear that Butter has become so aggressive towards Mimi. I think that you've been given a lot of wonderful advice and I hope that things will work out. Good luck and please keep us updated.