"we Hate Our Meowmie!"

**CalliesMom** · 05-11-2005, 12:12 PM

Well, Callie and Whisper are NOT fond of me right now. My in-laws are in town for hubby's graduation and Jason has a five year old sister (HUGE AGE DIFFERENCE!!). The cats are absolutely petrified of children so I put Callie and Whisper in the laundry room to "save" them from her. Callie hates being locked up; she hates being shut in our bedroom, the laundry room, etc. You should see her in a crate.

Well by this time, the little girl has her hand under the door and Callie flips her water bowl and hisses. I'm in there trying to feed them their dinner and Whisper is up on the dryer meowing his head off. I close the door and Callie starts meowing as if someone is killing her. I leave them in there for about an hour and come back--Callie has wet litter on her fur and one of them chewed on the blinds. Poor kitties.

This morning, I left Callie in our bedroom with Shadow so at least she has a lot more space and only cries for a little bit. Whisper is in the laundry room with a little cat condo so that he has something to perch himself on while he looks out the window.

I feel like a horrible meowmie. I shouldn't have to lock them up in the first place but no one will control her while I'm at work and this is the only way I feel they will be "safe." She torments her animals at home without anyone doing anything about it and I will not have my cats treated in such a manner. I hate when people visit.

**caseysmom** · 05-11-2005, 12:25 PM

You should have a little talk with that girl and clarify some things about how to treat animals, apparantly her parents are doing that.

**catland** · 05-11-2005, 01:13 PM

Yikes - a five year old for a sister-in-law.

Sounds like you and your husband need to set ground rules for the little girl. Its not her fault her parents spoil her rotten, but that is no excuse for bad behavior in your home. Kids are often smarter than we give them credit for. If she learns that she is not allowed to mistreat the kitties then she will stop - at least in your presence.

She's probably also used to being the center of attention and doesn't quite understand why big brother is such a big deal right now.

Sometimes diplomacy can help (which I realize can be hard when you know that you are 100% in the right) - but here's an approach -

Talk to the in-laws. Explain how your cats are kind of high-strung and you worry that they might claw or bite the little girl if she doesn't leave them alone. Then try bribery with the little girl, buy her a toy or stuffed animal that she can play with instead of the cats.

**dukedogsmom** · 05-11-2005, 01:16 PM

I would be very angry. Maybe instead of locking up the cats, lock up the kid? I would definately explain to her that this isn't her house and she has to abide by your rules. She needs to be taught manners from somewhere. I pity them when she becomes a teen.

**catmandu** · 05-11-2005, 01:21 PM

That,is terrible,being caught,betyween Your Family,and Your Cats.And if I had ever done anything,to hurt a cat,I would have been taken,to the woodshed,as I was once,for throwing a Stray Cat,into the ditch.That taught me a lesson,and the sore bottom,made me realize,that pain,was not funny.What is wrong,with Parents,where they are afraid,of the Children? I would insist,that thie Brat,not be,in my house,as noone,would put me,in a position,where My Cats,were locked up,and scared.And if they didnt like that ,TOO BAD!

**cruisetime** · 05-11-2005, 01:45 PM

I follow my mom's training in this one thing - "My House My Rules". Even my mom obeys my rules in my house or she is not welcome. I would kindly ask the in laws and their kid to get a motel room and they can come over when you are home to watch over the cats only. I'd also disipline the little girl if she does anything in front of you. I DO disipline anyone else's children in my home and all our friends know it. Weird enough - their kids LOVE me. One little girl in particular was very spoilt by mommy. She threw a ball at my big screen TV (and missed luckaly) in front of us all. I YELLED at her and her mommy said "oh honey - it's ok. I'm sure she didn't mean to yell at you" and I said "Yes I did!!!!". Do you know that little girl sat by me the whole time she was at my house and not by her mommy. Kids don't like to be spoilt and they won't be in MY home. Debbie

**DJFyrewolf36** · 05-11-2005, 02:29 PM

Originally posted by cruisetime
I follow my mom's training in this one thing - "My House My Rules". Even my mom obeys my rules in my house or she is not welcome. I would kindly ask the in laws and their kid to get a motel room and they can come over when you are home to watch over the cats only. I'd also disipline the little girl if she does anything in front of you. I DO disipline anyone else's children in my home and all our friends know it. Weird enough - their kids LOVE me. One little girl in particular was very spoilt by mommy. She threw a ball at my big screen TV (and missed luckaly) in front of us all. I YELLED at her and her mommy said "oh honey - it's ok. I'm sure she didn't mean to yell at you" and I said "Yes I did!!!!". Do you know that little girl sat by me the whole time she was at my house and not by her mommy. Kids don't like to be spoilt and they won't be in MY home. Debbie

I agree! My friend came over with his kids once and I didn't lock up the cats. They were very well behaved once Spook let out a little hiss. She let the kids know when enough was enough, and didn't need to use her claws or teeth to do it. I think kids are pretty darn smart...smarter than we give them credit for

**catlover4ever** · 05-11-2005, 02:39 PM

I know exactly how you feel. When we put our house up for sale I had the choice to take all my babies and bring them to my mom's house (30 minute car ride) everytime someone was going to view the house because I was told that the cats could not "roam" their own house or to "kennel" them in extra large dog kennels in the basement.

So I bought 4 extra large dog kennels and put them 2 by 2 and 1 in their own kennel until the perspective owners had viewed the house......what a major guilt trip that was. Lucky for me the first people to look at the house made an offer and I only had to kennel them once.

I don't like having to treat my animals any different that I do on any given day just because I have company coming or anything like that....so I feel your pain.

**CalliesMom** · 05-11-2005, 03:05 PM

I would yell at her if she was doing anything in my presence, but the problem is I can't trust the in-laws to tell her to leave the cats alone. I had picked up Callie yesterday and was moving her into the laundry room, when the little girl picked up Whisper and held him like a sack of potatoes. He's crying the entire time and no one moved to stop her until I was able to get Callie in the room.

I told her they were going "night-night" and could not be disturbed.

The in-laws are staying in a hotel so the cats were let out right after they left, but since I'm at work all day today I just couldn't trust them to tell her to leave them alone.

I can't put Whisper in my bedroom with Shadow (which would have been wonderful if I could as there is plenty of space in there) because he would attack her so the only option I had left was the small laundry room.

Our bathrooms are carpeted and I know he would pee on the floor in there as he did it the last time they were here.

I'm just frustruated because they are here for an entire week..so an entire week of Whisper crying pitifully to be let out. I feel so bad.

**orangemm** · 05-11-2005, 04:13 PM

It's horrible when you feel helpless in your own house. I agree, the child should have boundaries, not the cats (they are smart enough to stay away from certain people).

The parents are clearly not in control in this situation.

Some cats are fine with children, others not. When my grandchildren came to visit (when they were very young), our cats would head for the hills as soon as one of them shrieked! That's all it took, a loud voice and they hid.

I'm so sorry for you AND esp. for your kitties..............

**momcat** · 05-11-2005, 06:36 PM

Oh Callie, it sounds to me like that kid needs to learn some respect, manners, and social skills. She should have a clue about how to behave by now. Apparently not. One of the first things I was taught by my mom was you don't tease or mistreat animals, the lesson had to be learned early because my uncle had a dairy farm with dogs and cats running around, another uncle had a beautiful Irish Setter, and other relatives had house pets. How to properly treat pets was learned by age four and I've been an animal lover ever since. Your poor kitties don't understand that you're not punishing them... you're really protecting them from a 5 year old who doesn't know any better because she wasn't taught any better. These situations are even harder when the in-laws are involved and you want to keep the peace. This kid needs a sit down to be taught that YOUR house rules will be honored and Your pets WILL be treated gently and with kindness at ALL TIMES. I realize the spot you're in here, but what concerns me is abuse or mistreatment of animals by young kids may be a sign of more serious problems to come.
Congratulations to your husband on his graduation!!!!!!!!

**Fox-Gal** · 05-11-2005, 06:56 PM

Originally posted by CalliesMom

The in-laws are staying in a hotel so the cats were let out right after they left, but since I'm at work all day today I just couldn't trust them to tell her to leave them alone.

I'm just frustruated because they are here for an entire week..so an entire week of Whisper crying pitifully to be let out. I feel so bad.

Maybe I missed something here, not uncommon for me.

But if they are staying at a hotel, why can't the cats be free when your at work? Shouldn't they be at the hotel while your not at the house? and then come see you, after your home. Then while your home you can supervise everything.

If not, that would be my answer to the problem. Just explain this is doing harm to you and your cats, and as this is the cats home TOO, that you think this might work best for all concerned. Without saying anything bad about their childs behavior with cats, just explain that you feel because of her age and the cats "tudes" that this would be safer for all.

I know it's hard to say certain things to family, but if it unset you this bad, you need too.

I have a sister-in-law that "says" she's has cat allergies and has asked me to lock them up when she comes over. I don't, for several reason, one is it's the cats home and they hate being locked up (tear carpet and other damage when locked up). Second is, if she does have allergies, my home is not the home for her to be at anyways. Cats can be locked up, but their hairs are still around. She still doesn't understand and thinks I'm a little nuts, but now respects my ways on this and deals with them. My home, my rules, no exception, not even for family.