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Thread: A Cat's Version of Hamlet, by Shakespaw

  1. #1
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    San Francisco, CA, where life is happy and gay!
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    A Cat's Version of Hamlet, by Shakespaw

    A Cat's Version of Hamlet

    To go outside, and there perchance to stay
    Or to remain within: that is the question:

    Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
    The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
    That Nature rains upon those who roam abroad,
    Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
    And so by dozing melt the solid hours
    That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
    And stall the dinner bell.

    To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
    A wish to venture forth without delay,
    Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
    As if transfixed by doubt.

    To prowl; to sleep;
    To choose not knowing when we may once more
    Our readmittance gain:

    Aye, there's the hairball;
    For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
    Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
    And going out and coming in were made
    As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
    What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
    The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
    The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
    The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
    That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
    He might his exodus or entrance make
    With a mere mitten?

    Who would spaniels fear,
    Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard,
    But that the dread of our unheeded cries
    And scratches at a barricaded door
    No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
    And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
    Than run away to unguessed miseries?

    Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
    And thus the bristling hair of resolution
    Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
    And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
    We pause upon the threshold of decision.

    ~ Shakespaw ~

    Little Ms. Mitzi Mitts
    Our Photo Albums are
    Here and Here
    In memory of my beloved fur children, Goldie, Mishi and Mitzi.
    Rest in peace and play hard at the Rainbow Bridge.
    Goldie: 9/5/88 - 4/10/03
    Mishi: with us from 5/5/03 - 7/13/07
    Mitzi: with us from 4/19/03 - 1/23/10

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    40,169
    That is mazing,you are truly a Poet Lauriet! That is going,into My Meow Mail.
    Scrappy 2
    To Bite,or Not To Bite
    That Big Moose Tail
    He will give chase
    But to me,he is a Snail.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SE USA
    Posts
    18,443
    How cute! I will have to look for Shakespaw books! Such a wonderful writter!

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    San Francisco, CA, where life is happy and gay!
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    Originally posted by catmandu
    That is mazing,you are truly a Poet Lauriet!
    Methinks not .... I'm merely a plagiarist! Copying from an e-mail that another cat lover sent me.

    Little Ms. Mitzi Mitts
    Our Photo Albums are
    Here and Here
    In memory of my beloved fur children, Goldie, Mishi and Mitzi.
    Rest in peace and play hard at the Rainbow Bridge.
    Goldie: 9/5/88 - 4/10/03
    Mishi: with us from 5/5/03 - 7/13/07
    Mitzi: with us from 4/19/03 - 1/23/10

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Chicago area, Illinois, USA
    Posts
    1,586
    That's so clever! I just printed a copy to show the hubby.

    And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
    That sooooo describes Becky's attitude toward the human occupants of this house.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    40,169
    To Eat,or Not To Eat
    To Leave this Food,in a bowl
    To leave our Dry Food Alone
    In hopes,that we will get
    Some Tasty Treats
    Like Whiskas Temptations,Or Aquari Yums
    To fill the void,that is our Big Fat Tums!
    JJJ3s Lament.

    Last edited by catmandu; 04-27-2005 at 07:33 PM.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
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    I liked that! Such drama!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    Belgium, near Ghent
    Posts
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    I HAVE to get me a Shakespaw book asap!!
    I miss you enormously Sydney, Maya, Inka & Zazou Be happy there at the Rainbow Bridge

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
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    THANK you for posting that!!! It just made my morning. Whoever wrote it is my new hero. So says the English major.

    The whole thing had me delighted, but I about died when I came to "Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;" Genius, sheer genius.

  10. #10
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    Location
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    Posts
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    More Shakespaw Quotes

    I HAD to Google Shakespaw .... here's a bit more:

    "A proper Manx, as one shall see in a summer’s day."
    -- from A Midslumber Mice Dream, Act I. sc. 2; later used in "Midsummer Night's Dream" as "A proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day."

    "Can one desire too much of a good string?"
    -- from As You Lick It, Act IV. sc. 1; later used in "As You Like It" as "Can one desire too much of a good thing?"

    "A dish fit for the cod."
    -- from Julie Has Seafood, Act II. sc. 1; later used in "Julius Caesar" as "A dish fit for the gods."

    "O Meow, Meow! wherefore art thou Meow?"
    -- from No Meow and Julie Ate It, Act II. sc. 2; plagiarized by William "Shakespeare" in his so-called "Romeo and Juliet" as "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mice acquaint a Manx with strange bedfellows."
    -- from The Ten Pets, Act II. sc. 2; plagiarized by William "Shakespeare" as "Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "That Manx that hath a tail, I say, is no Manx."
    -- from The Two Gentle Manx of Verona, Act III, sc. 1

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "A merry cat sleeps all the day."
    -- from A Winter's No-Tail, Act IV, sc. 3

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Wherefore are these toys hid?"
    -- from Twelfth Bite, Act I, sc. 3

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Methought I heard a voice cry, "Sleep more! My pet does need sleep!"
    -- from Mypet, Act II, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Purr... a dish to catch my sole, but I do love thee! and when I love thee not, Chicken is come again."
    -- from Cathello, Act III, sc. 3

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I tasted mice, and now doth mice taste me."
    -- from Rat's Yard II, Act V, sc. 5

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Beware the Iams of March."
    -- from Julie Has Seafood, Act I, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "O for tuna, for tuna! all humans call me finicky."
    -- from No Meow and Julie Ate It, Act III, sc. 5

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The better part of velour is destruction"
    -- from Henry the Furred, Part I, Act V, sc. 4

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I will fasten my claws on this sleeve of thine: thou art an elm, my human, I, a vine."
    -- from The Calm Me Is An Error, Act II, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Not that I loved Science Diet less, but that I loved Eukanuba more."
    -- from Julie Has Seafood, Act III, sc. 2
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "What is a Manx, if its chief good and market of its time be but to sleep and feed? a feast, and more."
    -- from Handlick, Act IV, sc. 4

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "If there were reason for these miseries, then into limits could I bind my mowrroww-wowls."
    -- from Bite Us and Run Amuck, Act III, sc. 1

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I can talk, and speak to him in many sorts of meows."
    -- Twelfth Bite, Act I, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The moist Starkist, upon whose influence the Tuna Empire stands." --Handlick, Act I, sc. 1

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Sleep, that sometimes shuts up the cat's eye, steal me awhile from the mice's company."
    --A Midslumber Mice Dream, Act III, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "This was the most unkindest cat of all."
    --Julie Has Seafood, Act III, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The beast with many attachments butts me away."
    --Cleanervacuumus, Act IV, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "That way mattress lies."
    --King Oscar Sardines, Act III, sc. 4

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "He that lies on the lap stays for pets."
    --The Ten Pets, Act IV, sc. 1

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "All this condo's my stage, and the humans merely players."
    --As You Lick It, Act III, sc. 7

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "This mortal carpet I'll ruin."
    --Antony and Cleo the Cat, Act V, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "The world's mine Fancy Feast, which I with sharp claws will open."
    --The Meows and Whines of Whiskas, Act II, sc. 2

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I have eaten him out of house and home."
    --Henry the Furred, Part II, Act II, sc. 1
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Little Ms. Mitzi Mitts
    Our Photo Albums are
    Here and Here
    In memory of my beloved fur children, Goldie, Mishi and Mitzi.
    Rest in peace and play hard at the Rainbow Bridge.
    Goldie: 9/5/88 - 4/10/03
    Mishi: with us from 5/5/03 - 7/13/07
    Mitzi: with us from 4/19/03 - 1/23/10

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    Location
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    Posts
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    I loved those. This one is cute,


    "I will fasten my claws on this sleeve of thine: thou art an elm, my human, I, a vine."
    -- from The Calm Me Is An Error, Act II, sc. 2

    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

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