sheees baaak and now what

[lbaker]

My stray child just showed up last night. No where to go. My son moved his stuff into the attic and said OK she can have my room but I have to be back in my room by workday Monday. She is a dear but DOG I don't know how to deal with it. Dang.
where are you Phred and Spencer and Augie and why do I think I need a "man's " point of view here Jackie bother, sorry and why am I posting it here
laurie

[Karen]

Something's gotta give! Where did she come "from" that she's now got nowhere to go? I think you're beginning to get a reputation as someone who won't say no ... Is there any way you can give each "temporary" person a time limit? As in, "I love you, but I can't have you here forever, for my sake and your own. You can stay for (a week, two weeks, you pick the time) but then, as much as I love you, I'm gonna have to a. charge you rent (significant enough so it'd make a dent in your expenses and be a disincentive to staying) or throw you out."

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Laurie, I agree with Karen, one can be known as "easy" in taking people in. I think you are getting that reputation for these young people who want to drift in and drift out, it disrupts your life when this happens.
When we moved to California, everyone we knew wanted to see California and we were unindated with friends, family, friends of friends until we said NO MORE. Either you are going to move to a one bedroom home or say O.K., No More.
Jackie

[Corinna]

We have a saying here in Montana We have 2 seasons hunting and touriest . and you don't have a limit on tour kind. We have to say NO and charge a fee that is the onnly way to get your life back I know I have been there.

[lbaker]

You're right, all of you..and it just happens that it was just two years ago this Thanksgiving that my husband/partner died, so I'm not very reseptive to extranious bull (sorry) so I thank you. Can't talk anymore now........you are all RIGHT, I'm weak
laurie

[Karen]

Not weak - if you were weak, you wouldn't have the wherewithal to withstand all this. You just need to learn to set boundaries, that is all. There was never a class in school saying "how to set boundaries" and you cannot blame yourself for that. Just remeber to take care of yourself first, furbabies next, then the humans can take a number for when YOU are ready! I don't at all mean that you should be hard-hearted, just that you need to take care of yourself, or you'll end up in no shape to help anyone!

Hey - with all this extra help, they should all cook Thanksgiving dinner for YOU!

[Logan]

Laurie,
I don't have any sage advice for you. Just know that you have my thoughts and prayers....and I will pray for the "wayward" child as well. I can't remember how old she is, but I hope she will find some sound footing soon, and that you won't have to bear this burden for long.
I always remember that God doesn't give us more than we can bear. And you, my friend, are strong, and you will get through this.
Logan

[lbaker]

I'm better now.. my son and his buddy were just playing darts upstairs and came down here to remind me that there are about to be incredible meteor (sp?) showers in a few minutes so we are going to take all the dogs (and whichever cats care to join us ) for a walk up the street to enjoy the show..it's the little things that make life good..thanks friends
laurie

[gini]

Laurie, it isn't that you are weak, it is that it's very difficult sometimes to be strong. We want to do the "right" thing, and be a good person and help others.

But everyone is right about establishing boundaries.

It took me a long time to learn that, to like myself enough to put them in place and keep them there.

I would imagine that everyone on Pet Talk in some way or other, has been in your shoes. That's why we can all chime in with our advice.

I hope everything works out and don't forget - YOU are a good person and come first.