Why can't families be supportive??

[Jamieejo85]

I need to talk about something and since my problem is my family, I can't talk to them. Ok..I am 19 years old, working and going to college. I have been looking for an apartment but couldn't find one that would take my dog. Well, last week I finally found one. Chico and I went to look at it today, and I like it. IT isn't the nicest apartment ever, but I can afford it and I like it. I have figured out how many hours I need to work, set up a work schedule that will not interfere with school, and okayed it with my boss. Perfect, right? NO. My family expects me to stay home until I finish college which is alright but I really want to be out on my own, I know it will be hard, but I have thought this all out and I am prepared to do it. My grandparents are worried that I am moving into a bad area and I know they are just concerned, but instead of being negative, I wish I could get a little support. My mom is okay with the idea, I feel she is thinking some things that she wont tell me. I just wish I could get a little support from my family, instead of telling me I am going to end up back home in two months (my grandma said that). Well, thanks for letting me vent

[kuhio98]

It sounds to me that they are showing you they love you and and are concerned. That doesn't mean they don't support the idea of you moving out. They are just trying to point out some things that you might not have thought about. It sounds like you've worked out a plan. Let them know you've listened to their worries and you have a plan. Then, follow your heart. They will take their cue from you. If you are happy in your new place, they will be happy for you.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

You say you are 19, so there is no way your family can stop you from moving out. Of course, they could do a bit difficult in paying for school fees...
Listen to your heart. If you feel you can do this, then go for it. Tell your family that you are very sure and will do it anyway. Tell them that you will proove you are worth their trust
Good luck to you!!

[kt_luvs_kitties]

I am sure they are just trying to do whats best in their opinions to help you out. AND I am going to have to say "Live at home as long as you can"
I moved out at 19, and came back when I was 21 1/2. It was really expensive, and I could not pay for school. Try to think about it in the long run. Save your money back and plan,plan,plan. Moving out it great, BUT it is very hard and I would rather save up my money. Bills dont ever stay the same price. Anything can happen. Car breaks, unexpected vet bill, anything could happen.
Maybe you can find a roommate to split cost? Then you wont be alone, will have more money to keep, and someone to help clean Just a thought
GOOD LUCK!!

[catnapper]

Doesn't sound like a lack of support to me - sounds like a group of people who love you!

Now you say you've got everything planned out... truly?
Have you considered the following expenses:
~Healthcare - once you are out of your parent's house and officailly living on your own, you no longer are covered by your parent's insurance plans.
~Basic luxuries like soap, shampoo, laundry powder, fabric softener, cleaning supplies including replenshable things like cleaners and the things that are all up front like mops and buckets and laundry baskets. Don't forget the monhtly quarters for DOING the laundry at the laundromat.
~Food - its much more expensive than you've ever realized when you buy it on your own!
~Emergencies - vet care for the dog, you've got the flu and need medicine, your TV broke... the list goes on.
~cable, phone, car?, insurance for both car and rent
~post, pans, dishes, FURNITURE

Do you have the deposits ready - usually its 3 months of rent.

Is your job steady and steady? Or is it seasonal where one month you make much more than another?

What if oyu decided to take on a roomate... believe me, your mom and dad will feel like the best people in the world compared to the roomate from heck.

[GraciesMommy]

whooooohoooooooo Catnapper..you took the words right out of my mouth!
My daughter is 19 and living in the dorm and she can't believe how expensive THAT is....all the things she has to buy here and there that she so casually took for granted at home! lol

I would take the $$ you would be paying on rent and put it in a savings account and continue living right where you are until you get out of school. Then you will have a nice little chunk of change to start your life with on your own..

There are so many your age who do not have the family support that you do...I agree they are not trying to rain on your parade..they just want the best for you..

[K9soul]

Everyone makes good points here, but I am going to also state that I empathize and relate to your need to get out on your own. I went through the same thing, I just really craved more than anything to have my own place and experience being an adult on my own. It wasn't that my mom was unreasonable to live with, and the dorm room in college that I lived in was often miserable due to being kind of junky and the walls so thin you could hear just about everything around you. For a light sleeper and a non-party type, it could be beyond frustrating. But it was my place, and I finally felt fully in charge of my own life. After a couple years, I did end up moving back home for various reasons, but even then I felt more satisfied having gotten out in the world on my own for awhile.

I do understand your parents' concerns too, and agree they are trying to do what they feel will help you get the best start on life. My mom might have done the same, if the college that I had gone to had not been 5 hours from home . Perhaps you can come up with a compromise with your parents, spend the first year at home, saving up, and the second year get a one-year lease and see how it goes. I do understand how you're feeling right now though, and wish you the best in working this out.

[wolfsoul]

I'm 17, so I understand how you feel. I'm almost done school (just 3 months, and three weeks left!), and there is no way I want to stay living with my mother. I want to move out right away. Unfortunatly for me, it won't be that easy. I'm stuck for atleast another couple of months.

I can totally empathise -- nobody wants to stay at home forever. It's good to get out on your own and make your own decisions and buy your own things. It sounds to me like your family just wants you to get college out the door before you move. Maybe you should really consider that. It is hard and expensive to live on your own sometimes. Or maybe you could find a roomate? That would make it so much easier. Tell your grandparents that your doggies will keep the bad guys away.

[Oggyflute]

Theres no doubt that your family love & do support you in there own way, and everyone has made some real valid points here. Catnapper kind of hit it right on the head. Just because you want to do it, doesn't necessarily mean you should. Okay in saying that I left home at 17, left school too, which would be my only dissapointment. Consequently I virtually had to self educate myself. (not an easy thing to do). But I went ahead and did it, and had the time of my life. Ended up travelling the world and really experienced life.
Question is, do you feel you can take that responsibility?
Good luck and support with what you decide mate.

[Jamieejo85]

Originally posted by catnapper
[B
Is your job steady and steady? Or is it seasonal where one month you make much more than another?

[/B]

great point! sparing the details, I had a long discussion with my family and have decided to stay home until I am finished with college. Next semsester I am going to have to be working a lot less hours because I have to log in tons of observation hours at a high school (i am studying to be a third year spanish teacher.) So I will be staying at home. I have some great news though but I am posting that in Dog General Thank you everyone for your input, it really gave me some stuff to think about
Jamie

[GraciesMommy]

Good for you! Sounds like you are all on the same page and you have a plan~

[ramanth]

Just wanted to say that I lived at home with my parents and was quite happy until my boyfriend at the time (he was living in the dorms) wanted to get an apartment and wanted me to move in with him. I was 23.

My parents thought it was a bad idea but didn't stop me. Less than a year later I had Kia and a few months after that he kicked us both out!

So back home with my parents we went.

Took me forever to find an apartment that took dogs....but I did and it can be rough living on your own.... and I'm 27 now!