"Signs You are Completely Dogged"
Your own spouse has learned to fear "The Squirt Bottle".
If a person asks the dreaded "Why do you have so many dogs?" question, you snap back: "Why did you have ANY kids?".
Running out of paper towels is a household crisis.
You look down your nose at people who don't like dogs.
You'd rather win a Dyson vacuum than a Corvette.
You stopped at a house with a "Free Puppies" sign in the yard to
have an Educational "Chat," and your kids had to post your
bail.
You have a mental list of people you'd like to spay or neuter.
You not only know all the characteristics of a good "stool," you
discuss them at dinner.
You not only allow pets on the couch, guests have to sit on the
floor because the dog has "territorial issues."
You needed a prescription to recover from "Old Yeller."
A doorbell heard on a TV commercial will cause chaos to erupt in your house.
A waiter has approached you at least twice to cut down on the "studs and bitches" talk.
you have a video on how to artificially inseminate your dog, but you haven't watched a dirty movie since junior high.
You give a Vari Kennel as a baby shower gift. It's cheaper than a crib, and encloses on all sides.
when someone mentions single bars, you wonder if they are talking about utility or agility jumps.
You've had to explain what a "Kong" is to the ER doctor, when he asks how you sprained your ankle.
Your sister has stopped letting you babysit her kids, because last time you got out the citronella spray.
Your vet has added a new wing to his house thanks to you, and even hung a plaque in your honor.
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