why is he playing with my head? -advice

**Amber** · 01-18-2005, 03:51 PM

I'm sorry PT to bring this kind of "problem/advice" thread here, but I'm clueless.

You see, this guy named Andrew who I have/had a crush on. I later had found out from my friends he had a crush on me, a big one. And was saying all this nice, great stuff about me to my friends. (only when Im not around) But, now I've found out he's going out with one of my other friends.

Which makes me wonder stuff, because I thought he liked me, and I wanted to become friends. It doesn't matter though, but I'm just wondering...

argh. this stuff has never happened to me, and its so mind messing with!

**mina'smomma** · 01-18-2005, 04:05 PM

He may really like your Amber, and is just dating your friend because he doesn't know you that well.

My fiance dated a friend of mine because he had a crush on me, and wanted to get to know me better.

**RICHARD** · 01-18-2005, 04:19 PM

Men,

Can't live with us, Can't live with us.

It's a little different for guys.

I knew a gal, way back when, I worked in the same building with her, she disappeared and when I saw her again she was married and had a kid...

I regret the hell outta not 'making a move' then.

We are still best friends and I can talk to her about anything in the world. My heart still hurts a little at not having a 'closer' relationship, but I learned my lesson well....

Even if it's a 'miss', try to hang out as friends first.

Only time can tell you, but you have to listen FIRST.

**catnapper** · 01-18-2005, 04:30 PM

Oh if only I knew in highschool what I know now. I was so blind to boys' crushes on me... I was so clueless. Youd really be surprised at who likes you and how many guys like you. Honestly. Think about it... you must have at least two or three guys tthat you have a crush on, right? well those guys have crushes on two or three girls. Do the math, and there's got to be at least a handfull of boys in chool that like you! now what everything they do and even the smallest smile your way might be their shy hint!

Years after highschool, I have run into several guys. We each get to talking and one or the other reveals the huge crush we had on the other, and every time the other person felt the same way. Right before Christmas I ran into one of the BIGGEST nerds in my highschool, and I shamelessly a admit I had a crush on him. Sure wish I had the guts to say hi to him because he know is VERY cute (grew into his looks) VERY sweet and VERY wealthy!

Sigh.

Just take a deep breath, walk up to him and ask him for a movie date. Or even just to go to the next sporting event in the school's gym.

**RICHARD** · 01-18-2005, 04:34 PM

Originally posted by catnapper
Oh if only I knew in highschool what I know now. I was so blind to boys' crushes on me... I was so clueless.

THAT'S why god invented streaking!

**Amber** · 01-18-2005, 04:45 PM

Originally posted by catnapper
I was so blind to boys' crushes on me... I was so clueless.

Thats how I am..

Thanks for your responses. I honestly dont know why their doing this when their tottaly different. (and I mean different) people. Though, i don't know.

Thankyou so much for these advice/stories!

I love reading your little stories too!

**CamCamPup33** · 01-18-2005, 04:57 PM

I've had the same thing happen to me.... Maybe you should just go up to him, and ask him if what everyone said was true. Maybe he'll confess, then you can confess, and for some reason ALL of my guy friends who i've liked and confessed to, seem to become my best friends. Maybe after you get to know eachother you'll see you both have alot in common, and he'll realize what he's missing!

But then you might have the whole drama conflict with your friend, for having him break up with her for you.

You can never win!!

**bluekat** · 01-18-2005, 09:25 PM

I know how you feel

I always thought that this guy liked me, he used to be so nice and almost asked me out once. (Or did but I kinda said I was busy lol) But then now he seems to hate me and he goes out with all these other girls. Maybe its because of what I did but I don't know.

Oh if only I knew in highschool what I know now. I was so blind to boys' crushes on me... I was so clueless. Youd really be surprised at who likes you and how many guys like you. Honestly. Think about it... you must have at least two or three guys tthat you have a crush on, right? well those guys have crushes on two or three girls. Do the math, and there's got to be at least a handfull of boys in chool that like you!

I totally agree with that. There's this other guy who I like now and I think he likes me too. But I also like about 3 other guys..haha I can never stick with just one.

And I always see him with other girls so I'm always confused. I really don't understand guys that much. I'm too shy to start talking to a guy I like though, but I always just try to let them know I like them and hopefully to have them make the first move.

What I think, is that unless someone is brave enough to make the first move, then nothing is gonna happen.

**Amber** · 01-18-2005, 09:44 PM

Glad Im not the only one with this problem.

I went to my friends Kendras basketball game, with Friends, and Andrew was their with Whitney...didnt talk to me, but he looked at me alot.

**catnapper** · 01-18-2005, 09:46 PM

Originally posted by Amber
didnt talk to me, but he looked at me alot.

ooo... did he looks away when he saw you notice him looking at you? If so... then he's into you!

**Samantha Puppy** · 01-18-2005, 10:17 PM

Originally posted by RICHARD
Men,

Can't live with us, Can't live with us.

The truest words I've ever heard!!!

**Karen** · 01-18-2005, 10:31 PM

You are young! This is part of learning about relationships, and the dynamics between boys and girls, and all that stuff. Bluekat, don't worry about not settling all you "likes" on one boy right now! That's half the fun of being a girl!

To the original question, Amber, he may still like you, amd her at the same time. If they aren't "going steady," you are free to talk to him. Don't confront him ("Do you like me, or what??") but do get to know him, and maybe you'll become better friends, and maybe something more.

Yes, relationships are confusing.

Originally posted by RICHARD
Men,

Can't live with us, Can't live with us.

I disagree! I live with one now with whom I have lived for many years, have lived with up to as many as 5 guys at once (housemates at our first apartment) and thinks guys are much easier to live with. So there!