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Thread: I Feel Like I Have Failed As A Fur-Mom :( :( :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Canada
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    5,983

    I Feel Like I Have Failed As A Fur-Mom :( :( :(

    Okay, some of you remember my thread about food aggression...

    I was very happy to find out that Jasper was probably not food aggressive.

    I started playing that trade game that a few people were talking about...

    Tonight I told him to drop his bone and when he did I gave him another treat...

    After that I pet below his ears/on his neck like I always do to tell him he was a good dog, when I did that he growled a little and *maybe* tried to snap at me, I couldn't tell because I got such a scare

    I just started cying, I was crying so much that my parents thought he did bite me.

    I'm just really upset, and so many things are running through my mind, but the word "failure" is the one that sticks out the most

    I feel like I should have worked more with him on this as a puppy.

    For some reason I was a bit scared to post this, I just don't want anyone to think that Jasper is bad or aggressive

    I'm going to try to find more information about this on the net, and also look for that book that someone had mentioned to me.

    Robyn

    RIP Jasper. I can't believe you're gone.
    RIP Tigger...I miss you every single day.
    Piddle Jasper Wiggles Emma Tucker Almond Pecan
    RB Furbabies:
    Tigger Ace


    RIP Angus, I miss you!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Kingman, Arizona
    Posts
    4,943
    I am sorry to hear about Jasper, I hope his growling/ nipping problem will get better over time, good luck!
    DeviantArt
    Beth-
    Maggie [lab x germanshepherd], Autumn [Cattle dog x chow], C.P. [Domestic short hair] Henry [domestic short hair] Mittens [siamese/ x ], Buck [paint horse], Indy [Paint horse]

  3. #3
    He only did it because he snuck on the internet and saw where you wrote that he had never growled at anyone before.
    Don't you know our dogs like to keep us humble?

    Seriously though, don't worry too much about it. I mean it is serious, but you are looking for ways to nip it in the bud. That is not being a failure, trust me.

    One other really good reward for when a dog lets go of a highly prized item such as a bone is to let them have it back again.

    I would keep doing the trade game, and just keep it in the back of your mind that he may react again, so that you are ready for it.

    Oh one other thing. Check him over to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection or perhaps a sore that you may have touched while petting him and suprised him so that he reacted that way.

    Good luck, and never be afraid to post asking for help. It shows you care and that you're willing to work through things.
    Or if you are afraid to post then at least PM someone you trust.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Chicagoland, IL
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    8,499
    Don't feel like a failure, it is all a learning process and hindsight is always 20/20! I recently bought the book The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell. I know awhile back I had read where Maria thought the book was excellent so when I saw it, I picked it up. It has been quite an eye opener. I would highly highly recommend it, it deals a lot with dogs who are unsure of their position in the "pack." I was always so sure mine were certain of their position, but after reading this I see they were not so sure after all! In fact it has been hard not to see my mistakes and not dwell on them, I can see now where some things I did encouraged Tommy's nervousness and Tasha's mistrust of people. The good news is it can be reversed and it's not too complicated. It deals with many varying aggression issues as well, which is why I thought to mention it to you.

    Please don't worry about anyone judging you or Jasper. I know how difficult it can be, as I know how reluctant I have felt in the past to mention problems I was having with my two, for fear of people thinking badly of me or of the pups. {{HUGS}} to you and your sweet boy.
    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Northern Canada
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    Whoa!! Slow down! You aren't a failure. You tried something new with Jasper and he showed you a new reaction! Dogs will do that! Changing any behavior is a slow process. Give both yourself and Jasper lots of time, be consistent and work on this as often as you can and you will see success! And I totally agree with Shelteez--Never say your dog hasn't done something, especially something negative. It's a guarentee that they will do it asap!

    If growling and snapping = failure, I am in big trouble. I can think of at least three dogs in my yard that at some point in their lives have bit me! My husband has been to the ER with a bite from one of our dogs and trust me, he's a good daddy!

    Take a deep breath and try again when you calm down! Good luck!
    If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you must find the courage to live it.
    --John Irving

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Canada
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    Thanks--You guys are GREAT!!!

    I definatly feel better after reading these replies.

    I am definatly going to keep working with him, I really want to fix this.

    Also I don't think he has an ear infection or any sores, as I always pet him there when praising him.

    I'm really glad that you understand

    I looked at the Chapters website and couldn't find the book "MINE", but I will keep looking, and I will also keep an eye out for "The Dog Listener"!

    Thanks again guys, you have helped alot!

    RIP Jasper. I can't believe you're gone.
    RIP Tigger...I miss you every single day.
    Piddle Jasper Wiggles Emma Tucker Almond Pecan
    RB Furbabies:
    Tigger Ace


    RIP Angus, I miss you!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Northern Canada
    Posts
    5,530
    Originally posted by DogLover9501
    I looked at the Chapters website and couldn't find the book "MINE", but I will keep looking, and I will also keep an eye out for "The Dog Listener"!

    Thanks again guys, you have helped alot!
    I got mine from Dogwise.com It's an american site, but the prices are very reasonable and fast shipping!

    Amazon.ca has the Dog Listener--Canadian site, in Canadian dollars. I've ordered lots of books from them and got good service.
    If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you must find the courage to live it.
    --John Irving

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2,447
    youre not a failure,, I gotta stress that.... Just keep workingwith him and try not to get upset...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    pt.st.lucie,florida
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    Please Don't feel like you have Failed!!!

    Jasper is a Great Dog!!!
    and You are a Wonderful Fur-Mom!!!!!

    You are Trying to Figure out/solve the issue!!!

    There are Great Suggestions on this thread!!!!

    Keep Trying!!!

    We Love Jasper!!!

    He is a "Good Boy!!!"
    The Deli Dog

    I want to Honor All of Our Rainbow Bridge Furkids

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    19,879
    Don't feel like a failure Robyn, as others have said...you haven't failed! Keep working and I'm sure he'll do just great. We have faith in you, and Jasper too

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

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