I just received this email and I thought it was funny........so I am sharing.............but, I bet there will be someone who will still take offense.....if so, p/m me and I will give you my lawyer's name and phone number (just kidding!).
Subject: inoffensive greeting to you all
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer today, and on his advice (and after $399 in lawyer's fees) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible low stress nonaddictive gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race creed color age physical ability religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this message however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
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12/02
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