UGH.

My dad told me that we might move back home. Without my mom.

I just want to cry, pull my hair out, do SOMETHING to take out all the anger/stress/anxiety that is building up inside of me.

My dad said my mom has pretty much hinted to him that she wants us to go back home in January. I am hurt, but at the same time, I am so excited to maybe go back home.

The thing is, my dad waits on my mom hand and foot, so I don't know why she would want us out. I know that when my brother and I stay home for the day alone, it drives her crazy.

I just don't want her to start having breakdowns and stuff again. But the positives definately outweigh the negatives.

We (bro and I) could walk to and from school. We could sleep in our OWN beds again, and have the freedom of my mom's wonderful presence and cigarette smoke.

The only thing I'm afraid of is that she will have breakdowns again. And I'm also afraid I won't see Gavin much now, because no one will be at our house during the day like my mom will be.

I just want to cry. I can't handle all this pressure that's happening around me. I just anxious, nervous, excited, angry... ALL at once. It's making me crazy.

I wish my life was just back to normal. You don't have to listen to my whining, I know people have it worse. I just never imagined things would turn out like this.