Is flakiness a good enough reason to end a friendship?

[Tonya]

I have this friend that is so flakey. I can go on for days about her, but let me just name a few.

She told me one year that it was my turn to throw the Halloween party. I'm not much of a party person, but she begged me and I finally obliged. Then, she didn't even show up! Didn't call or anything!

She does that all the time. She always says she's going to come and doesn't show or call. Everytime. Birthday parties, tupperware parties, Halloween parties... Even occasions where I've taken a day off of work (wasted a vacation day) or bought tickets!

I haven't even hung out with her in over a year because of this. She never returns my calls. OH! But God forbid if I don't return her call or show up to her parties, bbq's, girls night outs, etc...

But this is the topper that has really pi$$ed me off. When she heard that I might sell Beauticontrol she said "Oh, please do, I've been dying to have a Spa Party." Well, I called her once I became a consultant and she told me she wanted to have the party December 7th. I told her that I already had tickets to the Kings basketball game ($150 per ticket!) so she needed to find another night. Well, she begged and pleaded saying that's the only night. Well, I'm really excited about making some extra money so I told her that if she promised to not flake, I'd give the tickets to someone else. (We'd gotten the tickets as a Christmas gift from Mike's work.) She swore up and down that it was a go.

So...I gave the tickets $300 tickets to a friend of mine. I really wanted to go to that game. Today, I get an email "Tonya, I am so sorry, I don't know what happened, but I'm not going to have the party after all. Maybe Jan 3rd? Let's book it then."

You know, on one hand it seems lame to disown someone over flaking. But how important am I to her? Obviously she doesn't care much about me. I am so mad!

[RICHARD]

Pull the handle.....

*insert flushing noise here*

[NoahsMommy]

I have two friends that annoy the crap out of me with their flakiness. I've just learned to expect it, if they show, they show.

I wouldn't book that party out of principle. Its one thing to have something come up, but all the time? Its also one thing to have things come up a lot due to health or family. Even then, you deserve a call for everything she missed. Its so disrespectful!

I have to agree with Richard.

[catnapper]

Its not the flakiness that makes her a bad friend, its the lack of consideration for you. I'd say its time to admit you've had good times together, but time to move on.

[catland]

She is not a real friend. She is someone who likes to control and use people. You are better off without her.

You should ask yourself why you allow her to manipulate you so much. Then you should vow that you will never allow her to manipulate you again. EVER.

There are plenty of wonderful people in the world to be friends with. Please don't waste your time on her anymore. Also, don't schedule the Jan 3rd party for her because she will flake on you again and this time you have no one to blame for it but yourself because you know what she is like.

If she tries to manipulate you again, just come back here and talk to use and we'll give you moral support.

[slick]

Take it from me......let her go. There are other people out there who would love to be your friend and actually appreciate your efforts. Good luck.