HELP (Case of the EX)

[tikeyas_mom]

I think one of my Ex's is obsessed with me.. . He always talks about me, and when i get home from work he is always staring through his bedroom window at me.. it is really creepy... .. I am so freaked of him.... GULP. He has a history of violent behaviour, and now that my house is up for sale and I will be movin, he is getting more creepy, saying he loves me and that he wishes that I would come back to him ... He even still calls me his girlfriend, and we broke up like a months ago!!!!!!! He threatened to hit me, thats why we broke up..

Please help I need advise.

[heinz57_79]

Do you still live together??

Best advice I can give is an order of protection (restraining order). Then he won't be able to come near you, call you, etc. It's the safest bet.

[lizzielou742]

Originally posted by tikeyas_mom
He always talks about me, and when i get home from work he is always staring through his bedroom window at me.. it is really creepy... ..

So does he live near you, like across the street or something? It's scary to have someone watch you coming and going from your house. I had a similar situation happen to me once (not with a stalker, but with a former convict who lived across the street from my family!! ). Anyway, you can call the cops and ask that they make a record of his activity, but there's really nothing they can do to stop him from looking at you. Perhaps someone on here knows about restraining orders and what someone has to do to get one. Anyway, what I recommend is write every single thing he does down. Every time he watches you, every time you talk to him. That way, God forbid, if he does try and do something, or if you have to file a restraining order against him, you have it all on record. The fact that he has a violent past and threatened to hit you before is scary. I would cut off all contact - direct and indirect - with him...

Please be careful, and let us know what happens!

[emily_the_spoiled]

Depending on where you live in Canada the process of obtaining a restraining order can be relatively straight forward. Given your history I would seriously look into the possibility of obtaining one. The other thing you might consider is to contact your local woman's shelter. They would have a better idea of what your options are in the community you live in.

It is better to be safe than sorry, get the police involved (that is why you pay taxes).

[tikeyas_mom]

he does live across the street from me!!!!
I will look into getting a restraining order, do they cost money? sorry I am very ignorant with this kinda lawful stuff...

[DJFyrewolf36]

I know here, a restraining order is served for free. However the police here want everything documented. If he has left incriminating messages on your phone, that generally pushes the police into action. Keep records and don't delete phone messages if you have them. The more evedince the police have, the more helpful they will be in making sure you stay protected and he stays far far away!

I agree, contact the womens shelter. Here, they will provide the paperwork and give really helpful advice.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Based on the fact that he lives across the street from you, I would really suggest that you contact your local woman's shelter. They will be able to provide you with all of the information you need. If you live in a place where there is no shelter (yes there are places like that), PLEASE contact a shelter in another town close to you.

[Jods]

that's soo scary... dont just ignore it though thinking nothing will happen make sure at leas t you call the police and they make a record of it

[lbaker]

Been there, have had some unpleasant experiences with trying to get local law involved. But things have changed and there are free places to call. One would be your nearest NOW group (National Organisation for Women) They have 800 numbers and this is NOTHING to fool with. There are always options.. never forget that. Do it NOW.
Your Sister.

[Karen]

I just want to echo what everyone else has said. Get a complaint on file with the police. Talk to someone about gettinga restraining order. Have someone - and adult he respects - talk to him and lay down ground rules. Make sure your parents knbow about this, too, as it's their house and property he's trespassing on, right?

[catnapper]

Yikes. I would urge you to call the police and file a complaint against him. The laws for stalking or harrassment can't be that much different in Canada than they are in the US. To be extra safe, please keep a log of everytime he approaches you, what he says, how he says it, etc. Just in case it needs ot be taken to couort Have some sort of formal log to write all these entres on, evenif its just a cheap steno pad. just be consistnet in your entires.

[leslie]

how are you and how have things been going? you said you are moving... is that this weekend or anytime soon (that may upset your ex?)

[tikeyas_mom]

i am moving in the spring, into my own place. my parents and little brothers have our hou8se up for sale right now.. he is really mad about it...

[LorraineO]

My advice is to document EVERYTHING,, no matter how small he does to you,,, Close your drapes when youre at home,,, dont speak to him or anything,,, Be safe and be brave.....

[emily_the_spoiled]

Please make sure that your parents know what is going on... As everyone has written, document, document, and document. Contact the woman's shelter and get the police involved. Sometimes it doesn't take much for people like this to go over the deep edge and by then it is too late for you.

Please be safe...