**Constructive Criticism NEEDED**

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I need to write a paper for my Bio class on Smallpox. The paper has to be more focused on the experiment than the disease itself, but here's what I have so far. Please read, correct any grammatical errors, information errors, ANYTHING!

THIS ISN'T ALL OF IT... I'M STILL WORKING ON IT AND WILL POST MORE AS I FINISH. THANKS IN ADVANCE.

It’s the 18th century. You are living in a small town in France or Sweden. You have a family, a
home, and life is just fine. All of a sudden you have a child stricken with a disease called
Smallpox. You know nothing about it, except for the fact that every tenth child in France or
Sweden in the 18th century was killed from smallpox.
Smallpox is a contagious disease caused by the variola virus. This lethal disease is
spread from one person to another through the air; by inhalation of air droplets from the mouth
of an infected person. About two weeks later, the victim goes through more symptoms, such as
fevers and prostration. Two to four days after the above symptoms, they receive the papular
rash, which is the main part of identifying smallpox and the most painful process of the disease.
The papular rash consists of small bumps, that when at an early stage can easily be confused
with chicken pox, a closely similar disease. The rash becomes exceedingly painful as the
pustules grow and expand. After a while, scabs form, fall off and leave pits in the skin. Death occurs
during the second week of this process.
Edward Jenner lived in a small town called Gloucestershire during the 18th century,
when smallpox was an easy killer. During the major smallpox epidemic, a few of his patients,
mostly farmers and milkmaids, came down with a mild case of smallpox, called cowpox. Those
who had cowpox never came down with smallpox. Edward thought about this and thought of a
way in which to prove his theory that, if a person was given the much milder disease, cowpox,
they would not be subjected to the disease smallpox later on.
A young woman named Sarah came to Doctor Jenner one day, stricken with cowpox.
This was just the opportunity Jenner needed.
He extracted some of the fluid from one of the sores on her arm. He then took some
fluid from another patient infected with a mild case of smallpox. Jenner believed that if he
infected a person with the cowpox disease, the body would have the power to defend itself
against smallpox.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

In 1796, Jenner carried out his experiment on an eight-year-old boy named James. After
making a small incision on James’ arm, he injected the cowpox fluid from Sarah’s arm into
James’ arm. After James had recovered from cowpox, Jenner proceeded to give James the
smallpox disease. After many tries, James never contracted the smallpox disease.Jenner was
positive that his theory was working. Once it was proven that James had no signs of smallpox,
Jenner then conducted the same experiment on 5 more children, even one of his own, and the
experiment produced the same results.


**EDIT** This one is the new one.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

This is the last of it.





Edward Jenner received an overwhelming amount of criticism over his experiments. Many
people complained that it was inhumane and ungodly to inoculate someone with such a material
from a diseased animal. They even went as far as to create cartoons containing satire showing
people vaccinated by Jenner sprouting cows heads.
Today, smallpox is almost completely gone. No one in the year 2004 in the United
States was effected by smallpox. Very little to no one has been affected since the mass
vaccination in the 60’s. Only two deaths have been reported since 1977, in Birmingham,
England. With such great success, we surely have to thank Mr. Edward Jenner, for his genious
and willingness to help the mankind of America.

[Oggyflute]

Are you after a clinical or dramatical prose? What definitions were you given by your teacher?