You Know You're A Cat Lover When......

[Pam]

Found this today while surfing. Boy can I relate!!

You know you're a cat lover when...

you get a present wrapped with a bow and ribbon and you think, "The kitties are going to love playing with these later!"

you type using no capital letters because there's a cat on your arm preventing you from using the shift key.

you hear the birds outside the bedroom window and put kitty there to watch.

you save a little milk at the end of cereal.

you spend more time shopping at the pet store than at the clothes store.

you go shopping at the local warehouse store and get boxes, not to carry the groceries, but for the cats to sit in at home.

you know what cat it is just by the meow.

your spouse says, "Me or the cat!", and there's no hesitation.

you rush the cat to the vet because she "just doesn't look right", but you still have that annoying cough from a month ago.

you know which cat is rubbing against your ankles without looking down.

you send letters to people signed by your cat, and decorate the envelopes with cat paw prints.

you get back your European vacation photos and every one has a cat in it.

you refused to be the labor "coach" for your wife but stayed up all night when the cat had kittens.

you spend $70 to get her groomed and $12 on your own haircut.

you stumble out of bed at 6:30 to feed the cats, but berate someone who phones two hours later for disturbing you at an ungodly hour.

you're thrilled to hear three little words from that special someone: "I love cats."

[margaret]

Those are great, Pam! Here's another:

You know you're a cat lover when....

you check "Cat of the Day" and "Pet Talk" every day!

[Enthusiologist]

Hi Cat Lovers!
Great list! I definately laughed and said yes to most of them. Thought of a couple more too: You know you're a CAT LOVER When...
You learn to meow and have long meowing
conversations with our furry friends (and
often take pride in how authentic you
sound.)

You sit somewhere else so as not to disturb your cat while he lies there
meditating.

You think absolutely nothing of cleaning
up litter boxes or their presents of fur
balls.

You are sure your kitty absolutely under-
stands that it's perfectly normal for him
to not only greet you at the door when you
come home...but RUSHES to follow you to the bathroom and MUST be ON YOUR LAP while you're using the commode.

You just melt when your kitty nestles into
your neck, nose bumps you with wet kisses or drapes himself across your chest and
coo's and purrrrrs.

Dennis Bubba Hyphen Potter (CatoftheDay 7/30/00) and I send our love to yaw'l! ;D
Blessings of GREAT Joy,
Joyce

[HowieDawn]

I can definately relate to a lot of those

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"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain

[wolflady]

A friend emailed these 'Cat Rules' to me awhile back, but I can definitely relate...


Rules for Cats who have a House to Run...
I. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened,
stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it
is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door
opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This
is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or
mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

II. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.
If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no
Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure
you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

III. BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not
necessary to do anything -- just sit and stare.

IV. HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity
and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called
"helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are the rules for
"hampering":
A) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the
cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
B) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and
book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
C) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most
appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least
the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out
and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to
distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.
Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of
what the humans may tell you.
D) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income
taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim -- to
hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch
sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll
around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability.
After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and
erasers off the table, one at a time.
E) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be
sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.

V. WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as
possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have
something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in
the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

VI. BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move
around.


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"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
- Nora Ephron

[MzKitty]

They are all SOOO TRUE!!!
I just kept smiling and nodding!
(I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a
bathroom lap-kitty)

[lhg0962]

Here's my two cents worth (especially on my mind right now after adding a second cat to our home):

You know you're a cat lover if:

You allow your hands to look as if they have been put through a meat shredder and still don't declaw the cat.

[Helen]

I think I can be included in this list, since I forgave Sadie for putting a dead mouse in one of my shoes - even though I spent the morning walking around in the said shoes, and only noticed the unwanted addition when I got home and changed them - oh dear, why is there something horrid on my sock??!

[wolflady]

This cat humor is just so funny, and pretty much we all can relate. Helen, this one's for you...Things You Can Learn from Your Cat...pay particular attention to the last one...
Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed(or in the shoe) tells them, "I care".
:P


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"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb

[4 feline house]

As far as the bathroom lap kitties - this is a story I could ONLY tell in this forum - I had adopted a kitty who showed up on my porch, and I guess he was so happy to have a family again, he was constantly in my lap - but when I went to the bathroom, he took one look at my panties around my knees and decided they would make a good hammock, and jumped in and curled up!

As far as the shredded hands, about five years ago I was working a part-time second job at a convenience store, and a customer came in and said "Either you work on your own car or you have a cat". I said, "Well, both, but how did you know?" He said, "Your torn-up hands!"

[lhg0962]

4Feline...
That hammock story is hilarious!!!! Isn't it great to have a place you can feel ok telling stuff like that. Folks without cats would never understand.

[Pam]

Wolflady....regarding II. Chairs and Rugs.....This is something that is a deep dark secret and known only to myself in this house! One Saturday morning I was in the living room and heard that famous cough/retching sound that could only be signaling an impending hairball on the way up! I walked into the kitchen to find that Trevor had planted it squarely on the kitchen table!

[Enthusiologist]

Oh Pam! What absolute FUN your contribution on "You Know You're a Cat Lover..." I'm telling you, I laugh enough to hurt. It's TRUE, ONLY CAT LOVERS CAN APPRECIATE our beloved feline friends! If I had a dime for everytime DENNIS BUBBA (Shameless plug, CATOFTHEDAY 7/30/00) made me laugh and smile I'd be the wealthiest person on earth! Ya know, we need to create a "smilie" symbolic of love. You're all so wonderful and so are your kitties. Keep em' comin'! Many Thanks!
Blessings,
Joyce

[gini]

I woke up in not the best of moods. It is raining and the cats wanted to go out, no, wait, they want to come back in, no - wrong again, they want to go back out. (Who keeps opening the door you ask?)

But the hammock story made me laugh so hard that my bad mood has just vanished.

Aren't cats the very best? Ooops, gotta go, they want to come in again.

------------------

[Pam]

Here's another.....
"You know you're a cat lover when the first thing that comes to mind when choosing furniture or clothing for yourself is the color of kitty's fur." Owners of white cats seldom wear black (take it from one who knows) and vice versa I am sure. I really should check and see where I can buy a new wardrobe in that nice shade of orange that looks so good on Trev. That way I can sit wherever I want.