Good news.....

[sweet_stormy]

Hey everyone.... Once I get more minutes on my cell phone I think I'm goin to call my dad (as some of you know that I've never really talked to him).... I e-mailed his sister (who I've never talked to) and I hope to get a response from her with my dad's phone number.... I'm scared though.... Anyone know a way for me to lose my fear of talkin to my father? any stratagies would be great.... thanx....

~*Becky*~

[Karen]

Don't think of him as your father. Think of him as just another human being to whom you happen to be connected. Try not to get lots of hopes up, or build high expectations, then relax (or at least pretend to) and think of things to say. How long has it been since you've spoken to him?

[sweet_stormy]

umm.... ive never really spoken to him.... me and my brother just met him, he said nothin to us and we said nothin to him.... so i gues my answer is never.....

[Karen]

Okay, that gives a better frame of reference. So treat it like you are introducing yourself to a new person at school or church. Be polite, prepare yourself a list of things to talk about, from the most mundane to family history.

Ask plenty of general questions - but avoid "where have you been my whole life?"-type ones for now. He'll probably be surprised, and might now know how to react himself.

[sweet_stormy]

ok, i wouldnt ask him "where hes been all my life".... but thanx 4 ur advice....

[Katiesmom]

OMG, I just went through this like 5 mths ago...I haven't spoken to my dad in like 22 years or something and I am only 26..so yea I understand everything you are feeling....When I finally talked to my dad for the first time 5 mths ago I didn't ask him anything like where was he for 22 years of my life, he just volunteered to feel me in on where he was and I completely understand stood why he didn't stick around, long story that I'm sure no one wants to hear but yea its a only natural you would be feeling this way...Are you angry with your dad for not being around (I know it sounds like a silly question) I mean I was angry with my dad for years and recently just came to a point that I wasn't angry anymore and that made it a little easier to talk to him. I mean if you try to talk to him in an angry way things may not go well. I think at first you should let him volunteer to say where hes been and then when you feel a little more at ease with him ask him the questions you want but don't over whelm him tho I mean this might be has hard on him as it is on you, it was on my dad! Anytime you need someone to talk to about this just PM me I here for ya

[sweet_stormy]

ok, thanx....