Through the struggle.. (A story!)

**CamCamPup33** · 06-15-2004, 08:03 PM

Well, i was bored and had nothing else to do so decided to write a new story. I know, i never finish my old ones, but they seem to lose intrest. This is the beginning, let me know if you want to read more!

Somehow I feel at peace with myself when I’m here, the beach is as peaceful as it gets. When I’m here It’s kind of like a whole weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Im only one person, and I can’t control the world. But sometimes I feel as if mom wants me to. As if she thinks I am older than I am, and as if she thinks I can do more than I actually can. I can’t. I can’t take care of a 3 year old, and a 6 year old. That was her responsibility when she put herself in that situation to get pregnant, and I can’t be a stay at home ‘mom’ at 16 when they aren’t even my kids. I have school to go to and a job to keep money coming in. Sometimes I think she forgets we are here. She walks in the house, throws off her shoes and goes to bed. Just expecting me to clean, wash clothes, take care of Cassidy and Michael all on my own. They don’t understand. Especially Michael. Michael was mom’s pride and joy until she resorted to unthinkable things that she does. Yeah, Of course we used to be normal. Up until we were left with just us 4, it was when dad left. When dad left mom, he didn’t want anything to do with us. His own 3 kids. I was first, then was Michael and now there’s Cassidy. The waves crashed against the rocks, I glanced around to the water. Tt was so clear, it’s like you could just see right through it. Kind of like me. I think mom knows I can’t do this, and im scared because I’m only 16 but she knows its easier on her this way.

**ticosmyham** · 06-15-2004, 08:17 PM

oo what are the unthinkable things that she does???? More!! This story is excellent so far!

**trayi52** · 06-15-2004, 09:11 PM

This has a really good start. I would really like to see more. So keep writing!

Willie

**apcrs5122** · 06-15-2004, 10:46 PM

It's really good Amber!

More!!!

**ILoveMyAbbyGirl** · 06-16-2004, 10:06 AM

**waiting**

Cmon Amber!!! I looooove it!

**CamCamPup33** · 06-16-2004, 12:41 PM

Thanks.. More..

I got up and got ready to leave, looked around at the peace that would soon fade away, and headed home. I didn’t even have a car which made matters 10 times worse. Cassidy and Michael were fine now, they were with one of my friends who offered to baby sit them. I always think how this would never had happened if we wouldn’t have moved here to Chicago. We lived in nice sunny California, where we were all happy, and now... It’s dark and gloomy in Chicago. I think mom freaked out about being alone, and being with no one, and that’s why we moved here. But she had us. She had 3 wonderful kids right in front of her very own eyes. She was too blind to see it. She didn’t know that the thing she would have to overcome would end up like this.

**CamCamPup33** · 06-16-2004, 01:35 PM

Bump!

**ticosmyham** · 06-16-2004, 07:28 PM

o yay...more!

It's getting better and better.. What's next, what's next?

**apcrs5122** · 06-16-2004, 08:51 PM

Very good Amber! Keep writing!

**CamCamPup33** · 06-16-2004, 09:00 PM

Mom says she met someone, and she said he was real nice. But I don’t know why we never see him and why she comes home all mad and gloomy if the man she met is so nice. She drinks, I could tell. She tries real hard not to show it though. Sometimes she will actually come out of her room and make dinner. For herself only, but it’s better than to never see her at all. Cassidy calls me mom now. It’s weird to have your little sister call you mom, when your not her mom at all. She only really sees mom when she comes out to give me the bills she got in the mail, or when she is making herself cereal or something. Mom knows Cassidy calls me mom now, she doesn’t care. She just looks at me as if I was the one making her say that. Then mom will try to be nice to Cassidy and end up going back into her room. I kind of miss the old her.

**GoldenRetrLuver** · 06-16-2004, 09:33 PM

Keep going!

**apcrs5122** · 06-16-2004, 09:34 PM

Ok Amber, YAY!

Mooore!

**CamCamPup33** · 06-18-2004, 11:46 AM

More..

The one who would make me chocolate chip pancakes and the one who would tie my shoe laces. But of course that has passed with flying colors and there is no being happy anymore. I got home and walked up the steps to the front door, and took the key out of my pocket. I heard yelling from outside of the door, panicking I ran inside. Some man was standing near mom screaming for her to leave. “What the hell is going on?” I asked. I felt kind of as if I was the owner of this house telling them to leave or something. “Nothing Michelle, go to your..” she stopped. “My what?” “Just go take care of the kids okay?” she said. “No. That’s your job isn’t it, they are your kids, not mine” I said. “Michelle not now, please im a little busy.” she said. “Who is this?” I asked. “This is Daniel. He’s my boyfriend. We are just having a little argument.” “Where is Cassidy and Michael?” I asked suddenly realizing they must be scared out of their minds. “They are locked in their rooms, now Michelle please GO AWAY!” she yelled. I walked away brushing past Daniel. When I walked into Cassidy’s room she latched onto my leg. “Come here Cass.” I walked into Michael’s room and he was sitting in the corner hugging his pillow. “Come here Michael, Let’s get out of here. Put on your jacket and come to my room, okay?”