Go forth into the world and travel to places only you can see…
I stare into the wall trying to think of something, anything other than the voices in my head. I look in the mirror and I never see the same reflection twice. I try to figure out what’s wrong with me and then I realize that maybe there is something wrong with everyone else. I pull myself out of bed and into the world where things move on at a rapid pace and realize that although I am perfectly capable of keeping up I simply don’t see any point in doing so.
I wander aimlessly into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I stand under the water, glad that I can cry now and nobody will care. I walk around the house soaking wet and without clothes, unaware of any presence other than the ghosts inside my head. Maybe I’ll jump off the roof today. Maybe a bus will hit me. Maybe just maybe I can find a point where I can see how my actions are part of a greater whole.
Maybe I’ll rediscover religion.
Maybe not.
I light a candle and fall into bed. I take a knife from the kitchen and run it down my wrist until my blood drips softly like tears of mourning. I laugh because it doesn’t hurt anymore. I laugh because it doesn’t help anymore. I laugh because I can laugh when so many other people at this very moment, at this climax in the story of their wretched lives, cry for mother and cry for father and cry for whatever delusion they call god.
I drink from the bottle. It has been comforting me for what seems like forever and yet I always feel abandoned at the end of it all. I keep going back because I realistically can’t motivate myself to think of any alternative.
Maybe I’m better off this way.
It all begins where it ends.
Goodnight sweet journey, I will miss you. I’ll miss the scars and the pain. I’ll miss the nightmares and the insecurity. I’ll miss the unpredictable chaos of living inside my head. I’ll miss the bottle and the knife and all the fun I had on the roller coaster of escapism.
I will miss you.
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I write mostly poetry, but i've got a handful of short stories and am working on a novel at the moment. 
Maybe we should start a poetry thread!
that I intend to clean up and publish as a collection. One of them is reeeeeeeally graphic and as much as I would like commentary on it there is no forum *except for the pervert ones and I am NOT posting there* that will let me post it. It's about romance novel graphicness so it isnt THAT bad but some people would reeealy have a cow 
. One should be finished soon, I think people will like it. Its kind of a Dark sci fi story with a wierd emotional twist. I'm getting my old files off of my parents computer...I might just post a completed old story if I get enough requests!
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