I received this in an e-mail today and it had me laughing out loud so I thought I'd share. I put it in the Dog House in case anyone might be offended, although I don't think anyone should be.
Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road? Finally answered
GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road
I am now against it!
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me
any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK : To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral
part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE: And God came down from heaven, and he said
unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD.
And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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I especially liked this one,
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