Thank you, dear Logan for sending on my hello message to everyone! i also want to thank all of you who sent me cards thru the snail mail. I was taken by surprise and burst out in tears-I was very touched and will treasure your cards and notes forever.
Turns out, naive, stupid, computer moron, that I am, had spyware in my computer. I was so upset at not having a computer for some small amount of escape, that my mom, even though she was in intensive care, told me to call someone, anyone to fix it and she would pay for it, since I'm still not working..
I found someone who made housecalls, and 3 hours later, with Comcasr digital connected (still have AOL until all my files are saved), firewall, security etc, etc, I'm up and running. It cost umpty-ump dollars, but was well worth it. I'm now back in the swing of things.Bye bye dialup, what an fool I am. You can all breath a collective sigh of relief now!
I've decided to home care my mother. As exhausting as it is and as miserable and fatigued as I am, it's still better than having her sit around in a nursing home. She has physical therapy 3x a week and nurses 2x a week. She has speech therapty because her swallowing is poor and she can only drink thickened liquids and eat pureed food. She runs a considerable risk of pneumonia all the time. Her mind is fine, as is her "in control" mechanism, but she can't walk for long as her illlness causes her oxygen levels to be low. She has to wear diapers now because of her muscle disease. We think if she was diagnosed correctly after she had the shingles in 2002, she may have been in a better state, but not totally OK. All this was caused by the shingles-it caused major muscle and nerve damage. In between all this her sister died, so she's in a depressed mental state too. Her total stay in the hospital this time was 2 weeks. This is her first stay home since February. We made our family room her place. She's relearnig steps but it'll take a few months they think.
Going up and down the steps a million x a day is killing my back. I need major back surgery but will have to delay it now. I'd be out of commission for over 12 weeks and also in a rehab center. But I have to do what I have to do. The home care aides come too early or too late so I have to wash and care for her. Tensions are high and we fight constantly, something we never did before.
You never know what the future will bring.
I'll never catch up on PT. I know I've missed a lot, My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered sadness. My prayers are with all of you everyday. I really really missed all of you so much.
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