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Thread: Are you a Liberal or a Texan?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
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    Copenhagen, Denmark
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    Are you a Liberal or a Texan?

    Now please don't attack me for this, it isn't a criticism of anyone, but apparently, due to my weird sense of humor most of the jokes I like belong in the Dog House!

    Situational Issue:
    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    Libereral's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

    Conservative's Answer:
    BANG!

    Texan's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... sounds of reloading.
    Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving."
    Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
    Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

    "Peace cannot be achieved through violence,
    it can only be attained through understanding."
    Albert Einstein

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Well,

    A Texan wouldn't carry a Glock..


    He'd carry a S&W .38 long barrel.
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  3. #3
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    Michigan
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    Richard's right. I think you'd find a Glock in Detroit.

    And to answer, I must be conservative.
    ~Kimmy, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, Mei, Jasper, Esme, & Lucy Inara
    RIP Kia, Chipper, Morla, & June

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Windham, Vermont, USA
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    40,861
    Neither.

    My answer?
    Bang. Bang.

    Two shots - one to each knee. He'd be incapacitated, and my family's safe. While I kick the knife away, another family member will use a cell phone to call the cops.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Originally posted by Karen
    Neither.

    My answer?
    Bang. Bang.


    She bangs, She bangs.......

    lol,

    I love that kid!

    http://www.williamhung.net/default.php
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    edmonds, wa
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    2,779
    Originally posted by RICHARD
    [B]She bangs, She bangs.......

    lol,

    I love that kid!
    me too! did you know he got a recording contract? i would definatly buy his CD

  7. #7
    Originally posted by G.P.girl
    me too! did you know he got a recording contract? i would definatly buy his CD
    You've got to be kidding me. I felt so embarrassed for him when I saw his tryout. I don't understand why or how he's become so popular. As for giving him a recording contract?? What the heck??

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
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    Iowa!
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    I'm a Texan. If he lives, he'll sue you so fast you wouldn't know what was happening. And the bad thing about it is, he'd probably win.

    9/3/13
    I did the right thing by setting you free
    But the pain is very deep.
    If only I could turn back time, forever, you I'd keep.
    I miss you


    I hear you whimper in your sleep
    I gently pet you and say, no bad dreams
    It will be alright, to my dog as dark as night.

    Fur as dark as the night.
    Join me on this flight.
    Paws of love that follow me.
    In my heart you'll forever be.
    [/SIZE]



    How I wish I could hold you near.
    Turn back time to make it so.
    Hug you close and never let go.
    11/12/06




  9. #9
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    edmonds, wa
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    Originally posted by Shelteez2
    You've got to be kidding me. I felt so embarrassed for him when I saw his tryout. I don't understand why or how he's become so popular. As for giving him a recording contract?? What the heck??
    nope...i'm not kidding.
    heres one story i found:
    "





    Date Posted: February 23, 2004

    BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) -- The "American Idol" judges said William Hung bombed with his gotta-see-it-to-believe-it rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs."


    But rejection turned out to have a silver -- maybe even platinum -- lining. In the weeks since he got booted by the TV talent show, the 21-year-old Hung has become an insta-Net celebrity, sought after by talk shows, record producers and Idol dreamers everywhere.


    By now, unless your TV set is permanently tuned to PBS, you've probably seen Hung in action -- arms waving over his head, hips following the beat of an entirely different drummer as he cheerfully attacks Martin's song.


    The song fights back; the song wins. And yet the mild-mannered civil engineering student is undeniably charming, his reedy tenor bringing a boyish exuberance to the sexy lyrics.


    "I love him! I love him!" a laughing Ellen DeGeneres told her talk show audience after Hung came on to perform an abbreviated version of "Shake Your Bon Bon," another Martin song (Hung is a huge Ricky fan).


    What has people so hung up on Hung?


    Is it the shy, toothy smile? The accent?


    The dance moves, just a few funks short of funkadelic?


    His fans say it's all that, combined with his fearless -- or clueless if you ask caustic "Idol" judge Simon Cowell -- pursuit of an unlikely dream.


    "He's not full of himself. He's just down-to-earth," says Andrea Michaelian, a San Francisco-area teenager who with a friend created www.williamhung.reallyrules.com. "He's like an unintentional celebrity so it's cool."


    Hung, who was born in Hong Kong but moved to Southern California with his family as a child, has always been interested in music. But he was concentrating on a steadier line of work, studying at the University of California, Berkeley, until he won a dorm talent contest singing, of course, "She Bangs."


    Last September, he decided to try out for "American Idol" in San Francisco, appearing before judges Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson.


    It didn't go well. Cowell stopped him with a curt, "You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do you want me to say?"


    Some contestants argue when they get the Cowell cutoff; others cry. Said Hung, "I already gave my best and I have no regrets at all."


    The judges were disarmed but not swayed by his cheerful sincerity. Producers put the segment on the air as an example of how not to be -- part of the show's appeal, especially in the early rounds of competition, is watching hopefuls crash and burn.


    But Hung was different, evoking more support than schadenfreude.


    "Everyone's having fun with it," says Jared Levy, a fellow UC-Berkeley student. "It's completely different from everyone else's auditions who didn't make it. He said, 'You know what? That's OK."'

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by RICHARD
    Well,

    A Texan wouldn't carry a Glock..


    He'd carry a S&W .38 long barrel.

    That's right. Also, the liberal wouldn't be carrying a gun at all.



    I'm a conservative Texan, I suppose. I wouldn't take the time to reload, but I'd empty the clip.
    "We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

    "We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

    "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by dukedogsmom
    I'm a Texan. If he lives, he'll sue you so fast you wouldn't know what was happening. And the bad thing about it is, he'd probably win.
    I think that goes for just about any state. We've had MI police officers that say if you feel your life is threatened, shoot to kill. Or the person attacking you can and most likely will sue you.
    ~Kimmy, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, Mei, Jasper, Esme, & Lucy Inara
    RIP Kia, Chipper, Morla, & June

  12. #12
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    Originally posted by RICHARD
    She bangs, She bangs.......

    lol,

    I love that kid!

    http://www.williamhung.net/default.php
    I love him!! He`s famous for being a horrible singer!! I could do that!!!!

  13. #13
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    His name is Hung? Well... I have never heard of him yet! Guess I need to start watching more television!!

    I guess it would be bang, bang, bang, bang etc. with a smith and wesson. So what does that make me??

    Thank You, kittycats_delight for my new siggy!!!

  14. #14
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    Liberal or Arizonian???

    Smith & Wesson chairman quits over criminal record
    By Associated Press



    SPRINGFIELD, Mass. -- The new chairman of the board of Smith & Wesson's parent company resigned following reports that he committed a string of armed robberies in the 1950s and 1960s.

    James Joseph Minder, who had been an outside director of Smith & Wesson Holding Corp., said he submitted his resignation voluntarily at a directors meeting this week.

    "I felt it was the best thing for the company, given the circumstances," Minder, 74, told The Republican newspaper in Springfield for Thursday's editions.

    Company officials did not immediately return telephone calls seeking comment. The newspaper said the gun maker was expected to name a replacement on Friday.

    The resignation by Minder, who lives in Scottsdale, Ariz., came three weeks after The Arizona Republic reported that he had spent more than 10 years in Michigan prisons in the 1950s and 1960s for a string of armed robberies and an attempted prison escape.

    Minder said he didn't disclose his criminal past to the other directors of the 150-year-old gun company prior to his election as chairman in mid-January.
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

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