A question for those who foster

[jenluckenbach]

Am I doing something wrong? My foster kittens, who have always come around to trust me, are always so shy and afraid of other people. First Chevy.....well, we all know how he was. And Timmy, a terrific cat, sits in his cage at adoption day like he never saw a human before. And when people visit, he hides. The 5 new kittens who are all coming around in their own time are TERRIFIED when people come to see them. Even Bonnie's babies, and Bonnie herself, were not really people friendly when visitors came to the house. I know that the ones who got adopted DID warm up to their families, but why are they so afraid of visitors. It turns some people away? Can I change something that I am doing? I don't get visitors, so I can't really expose them to other people except at adoption days. Maybe I am a bad foster home after all. Maybe they need more interaction with a diverse amount of people, something I can not give them.
Suggestions?!

[kuhio98]

Well, I've never fostered, but we have had similar experiences in the past. Kuhio was sweet and loving to us. She'd be purring her brains out and if the doorbell rang or the phone, she'd take off like she'd been lit on fire and hide until the awful noise and people left. We started leaving talk radio on all day while we were at work. At first we'd have to track her down when we got home. Eventually she got used to the noise and voices and we'd find her out in the open when we got home. We don't get many visitors either and our house is pretty quiet. Leaving the radio or TV on could be worth a try.

[pit chic]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I also foster cats and dogs. All of the kittens we rescued were actually born in a feral colony and turned out great, not affraid of anyone. I think a lot of it has to do with most of the kittens came into my house at only a few days old and grew up with a lot of hussle and bussle...and barking. We never have visitors either and the only exposure to other people that my foster cats get is at adoptions. They don't like being at adoptions, but all of the barking dogs doesn't bother them since they live with that at home.

People just need to understand that being at adoptions is stressful on cats and they aren't going to be the freindly cuddle bugs that they are at your house. I try to post signs at adoptions telling people this. I also hang pictures of the cats on their cages that show how they really are at home just to give people an idea of their true personality.

Hope this helps. Don't be so discouraged. You're doing a great thing by providing temporary homes and TLC to these cats that may have died on the streets or in a shelter. Keep up the great work, those babies need it.

[jenluckenbach]

People just need to understand that being at adoptions is stressful on cats and they aren't going to be the freindly cuddle bugs that they are at your house

Yes, but they are like this at my HOME when people they don't know come here.

[catcrazylady]

Jen, I have wondered the same thing about my babies! It is just me and my husband so I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I have always blamed the fact that they were feral and even though they were pretty young when I got them in I think some of that is inbred. Sammy and Leroy are very social and they really weren't raised any different from the others. I think their mama's early lessons on fear just never leave them. I have often wondered if I had tried harder to socialize them with other people that maybe they wouldn't be so chicken. I did on several occasions try to bring them into a room where it was just my mother. I told her to speak quietly but when I carried Pete (the most layed back) into the room he saw her and ripped my arm and shoulder to peices getting away. I don't know if there is really anything that we could do any different. I have come to the conclusion that what is taught to them by their mothers in the first few weeks of life can never really be broken. I don't think so anyway. I think they may learn to relax a little but that nervousness and fear is always close to the surface. These are just my conclusions but they make sense to me when I watch my babies. They are feral but they have never been harmed by a human so it has nothing to do with that.
Let's blame their MAMA'S!! It seems to be the thing to do in this day and age anyway, doesn't it???

[pit chic]

I guess we just have to come to grips with the fact that cats are aloof by nature and they make their own rules. My brother took 2 cats that were feral born, but raised in my house from days old. One of them greets everyone at the door while the other just keeps to himself until he's ready to make an appearance. Cats are odd creatures, that's why I prefer dogs.

[Prairie Purrs]

When I got Kacey and Kiri from a shelter, their records had identical descriptions even though they're not exactly the same age--that led me to believe that they were fostered by the same person until they were old enough for adoption. Kacey's extremely gregarious and isn't at all shy around strangers. Kiri runs and hides until visitors go away.

As for the ferals I've taken in, they all run away when they hear somebody at the door. But some will come out while visitors are here, while others stay hidden. Angel, who had human contact from the earliest age of all (he was born in my house), is the most timid.

In other words, cats will be cats.

[AvaJoy]

Originally posted by catcrazylady
. . I think some of that is inbred. . . I don't know if there is really anything that we could do any different. I have come to the conclusion that what is taught to them by their mothers in the first few weeks of life can never really be broken. I don't think so anyway. I think they may learn to relax a little but that nervousness and fear is always close to the surface. . . Let's blame their MAMA'S!! It seems to be the thing to do in this day and age anyway, doesn't it???

I agree! Their Mothers taught them to be fearful of ALL humans, so they come to trust ONLY those humans that have shown them kindness, caring, and food. Once someone else in human form is within their midst, the instinctual fear kicks in and they become reclusive or want to flee.

Muskrat (Tortie in avatar) was only trusting toward me, since I nursed her little broken-legged feral self back to health (except for being FeLV+ since I can't make that go away) with lots of care and attention. To this day, she will accept my husband cleaning her box and feeding her, but she will STILL turn on him in a split second, without any hesitation. As for strangers, just the sight of anyone besides him or me and she is in crouched, attack mode. I doubt if I can ever find a home for her, so she must live in the basement apart from the other cats due to her FeLV.

Jen, you do all you can to give these little ones a fair chance at life, so don't feel inadequate . . . feline instinct coupled with the early lessons from mom-cats are virtually impossible to revoke. You have found exceptions to this before, and you will find them again, so don't feel discouraged . . . remember the wonderful feeling when a feral, tamed by your compassion and devotion, finds a forever home . . . it will happen again!

[rosethecopycat]

We don't have a lot of foot traffic, but some of my fosters seem nonplussed by the visitors and others to the hiding routine.
If I have a scared one, I physically carry them out to greet the visitors, get a quick pet, and take them back to their safe area before real terror sets in.
How else will they get used to it? I always make it the least traumatic for them and try to end it on a good note.

BTW, my little scared, fat girl is coming around socially. She will go on a long transport to her forever home. I think she will adjust quicker this second time around, having had so much interaction here in foster.

[moosmom]

Jen,

You definitely need to get more people to come over and interact with the kittens. They need socialization and also need to be handled more so they get used to people other than you.

LilEli is still scared of anyone that comes over to visit. I've had him for over a year now and while he still shys away from me a little bit, he's more relaxed than he was when I first got him.

[jenluckenbach]

Originally posted by moosmom
Jen,

You definitely need to get more people to come over and interact with the kittens. They need socialization and also need to be handled more so they get used to people other than you.

Donna,
I KNOW you are correct, but unless all you pet talk people want to come visit, then I have no one to do that for me.

[moosmom]

I hear ya! I don't have much company either.

[CatDad]

Jen I would love to come over and meet and play with the hoard(you passed heard a while ago), but you are a little too far away.

I have an idea, is it possible to take one or two to work with you and let them interact with people there. Maybe rotate one a day and that may help. I don't know if that is really a workable solution, but it was just a thought.

[jenluckenbach]

I have an idea, is it possible to take one or two to work with you

Actually, I could, I work at a pet groomer, so animals are definitely allowed!!!! But, I just don;t know how it would be better than adoption day events, the'd be caged with strangers staring at them and poking them. It sure hasn't helped Timmy (or Chevy)

[AvaJoy]

Originally posted by CatDad
. . . is it possible to take one or two to work with you and let them interact with people there. Maybe rotate one a day and that may help. I don't know if that is really a workable solution, but it was just a thought.

Fantastic idea! I'm all for having a resident cat (or two . . . or more!) in the workplace environment, but some employees may be allergic or have other objections It is strictly forbidden in the office where I work.

I think I will start a poll/thread on this!