Different Drums and Different Drummers

[Fox-Gal]

Sense I do not feel that I have connected in a way around here, I have done my best to stay out of a lot of things. But over the last few months that I have been a part of P.T. things keep happening that effect us all in some little way, so in going with my trun nature I will post this and feel, in myself that I tried to help some.

It is not meant for anyone in general, it is only meant to be read and taken for what it's worth. It makes me feel better.

Different Drums and Different Drummers

If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.

Or if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.

Or if my emotion is more than yours, or less, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more weakly or strongly.

Or yet if I act in some way other than your design for action, let me be.

I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.

I may be your spouse, your employee, your child, your parent, or your friend. If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right- for me.

To put up with me is the first step to understanding me. Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness.

And in understanding me, you might come to prize my differences from you, and far from seeking to change them, you might preserve and even nurture those differences.

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What Forgiveness Will Buy
Think of the time and energy a little forgiveness could buy you.

Being frustrated, annoyed or angry uses up your precious time,
energy, thoughts and actions. Certainly there are situations worth
getting angry about, but do you truly wish to give over even a little
bit of yourself to the petty little things which really don't matter?

When someone does something to annoy you, consider how much of your valuable time you could save by forgiving that person, in your own mind, right then. When you forgive before you've even shown any
anger, the matter will die and you can quickly move on.

Expect the best from those around you, and you'll very likely get
it. Yet when someone falls short of your expectations, don't aggravate the problem by letting it sap your time and energy. Look for a way to quickly forgive and forget.

The more little things you can forgive, the more big things you can
accomplish.

-- Ralph Marston

[Miss Meow]

Thanks There are some wise words in those passages.

[edit snip snip some ramblings ]

[RICHARD]

Rule for drummers.

1) Keep drumming, you will pick up the beat.

2) How to you get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice, practice, practice.

3) Keep your fingers from in between the drum and
your sticks.

4) Unless you play your songs, how will you know
that other people like and want to hear your
music?

5) Not everyone will like your music.

6) Only drum during daylight hours and weekend nights. Even then, stop at 10:00 p.m.

7) Big drums are loud, Badly played big drums are
loud.

8) There is a reason that marching band drummers
only carry one drum.

9) Don Henley from the Eagles was a singing drummer.

10) When you start a drum solo, chance are everyone will be watching, close your eyes
and rock on......the applause will follow when
the song is done.

11) EVERY band needs a drummer.

[Fox-Gal]

This was because I hate reading so many post with petty little fights I seen sense the first day I joined and not feeling like I could interven, not being part of the P.T. click sort of speak. But still feeling like I would not be the person I was if I didn't at least make a effort.

I answered a post one day and ended it with Forgiveness and compassion only to be quoted with comment about that being hard to find on P.T. (something like that) That bothered me.

This is my responce to that and other things. It can never hurt to try and look a little deeper inside ourselfs and others.

It's the social worker inside me.....it has to come out every once in awhile.

Edited in resoponce to Miss Meow's edit she'll understands

[captain]

Fox-Gal,

Invaluable .......... that was a great post. Thanks!
Food for thought over the New Year ........

Richard,

Phil Collins was a Drummer for Genesis ........ OH, and he sang too!

[amoore]

Thank you for such great words That match how I feel.

I would say you are what we all need! I know I would love to have you as my friend. Everyone needs a good person like you as their friend.

Please know that I would like to talk more with you.

[Tonya]

Thank you for sharing that, Fox-Gal. I truly appreciate it.

[slick]

Originally posted by RICHARD
11) EVERY band needs a drummer.

This is so true. I was a bass drummer in a Pipe Band once. Pipes alone, maybe, but with a drum, well....let's just say that without the drum, the pipers can't find the rhythm.

Very nice Fox_Gal.

[CathyBogart]

Originally posted by RICHARD
Rule for drummers.
6) Only drum during daylight hours and weekend nights. Even then, stop at 10:00 p.m.

Gods, my old neighbor needs to see this one! I can't tell you how many nights he kept me up until 3AM.

[All Creatures Great And Small]

Thanks, Fox_Gal, for those very wise words. You are right that Pet Talk can be a very "clique-y" place, but I wouldn't worry about it - most of the cliques aren't worth being in anyway. Better that you can use your own voice and not worry about going "against the group".

The timing on this couldn't be more coincidental for me - I am sitting here in a hotel room in California because my dad died on the 22nd out here, dealing with the aftermath of a ridiculous family argument between my 2 other sisters, resulting in one of them going back home already even before the memorial service. My oldest sister was complaining about the way the middle sister laughs - it's too loud, she sounds psycho, what will people think, etc. Ironically, we had just chosen a verse to be put on my dad's memorial folders that said he would like the memories of him to be happy ones, because he was a really funny, happy, positive guy, but she was telling my middle sister that laughing right now is totally inappropriate and disrespectful. Well, the tension over this grew to the point that they had a huge screaming match in which every past transgression against each other over the past 40 years was brought up, so middle sister has returned home and will never speak to older sister again (though this seems unlikely). Oldest sister has not shut up about this whole thing since it happened, which is starting to make me a little crazy since we are here to take care of dad and his affairs, not sit around backstabbing and arguing. (And for the record, I've been laughing a lot these past few days too, remembering all the great stuff about my dad and my sisters, but somehow my laugh must be at the right decibel level - go figure.)

I tried to tell oldest sister that the sound/volume of middle sister's laugh is something that she cannot change or control, but oldest sister said it's BS and that she was doing it "on purpose for attention". They simply could not respect each other's differences and get past them for the sake of pulling together for this funeral. The words you have posted here really do ring true, and I will try to remember them in the future.

(and by the way - I miss my kitties! )

[Fox-Gal]

All Creatures Great And Small,
I am so sorry about your dad passing. That in it's self is hard enough to deal with and then to add to it your sisters fighting. My husbands mother passed not to long ago and his sisters went through the same thing, the fighting, so bad I wanted to yell and tell them this is not what your mother would want or what anyone needs right now. But instead I told them about a chat I had with their mother when the two of us where planing for her death, she left me to handle it knowing that her children would fight. What a shame that she had to come to me because she knew she could not count on her own children to get along long enough to take care of her last wishes.

Ever one handles death in their own way and thier ways should be respected. What a sad and boring world we live in if everyone handle/did things alike. I'm gald to know that I help in some way by my post and know that my thoughts and prayer are with you through this time.

I hope that your sisters work it out in the end, you just stay true to your self and hope that they follow your lead and make peace with their own differances. This is a time when family needs each other.

If you need to talk, you know where to find me and others here.

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by amoore
Thank you for such great words That match how I feel.

I would say you are what we all need! I know I would love to have you as my friend. Everyone needs a good person like you as their friend.

Please know that I would like to talk more with you.

Thank you friend, for the kind words and any time you want to talk you know right where you can find me.

[robinh]

How appropriate your words are today. Its the day before a new year - a new beginning.

I've learned a lot this past year with my sister almost dying. I'm trying to really appreciate her for who she is. I know I drive her crazy sometimes the same way she does me, but I love her for all the things she's done for me and with me over the years that really make me want to know her better.

Enough rambling from me. I think those are very thoughtful and sincere beliefs on your part.

[trayi52]

Fox-Gal, this is a much needed thread. Maybe it will help others to be able to sort through their problems. I hate to see the people that I care about argue. I think you are a great addition to Pet Talk. I love all your stories, the one about our hubbys chickens, LOL.

All Creatures Great And Small, I am so sorry about your dad passing away, I know how it hurts. Ann and I lost our dad a few years ago. We didn't have the fighting among the siblings thing going on, so this really has to be hard on you with that to top it all off. I hope that things will work out and all will get along.

Its like Fox-Gal said, we all have different ways of grieving. Me, I just wanted to cry all the time, and could not talk without crying. I still have my days and nights to cry, anything can set me off.

Yes this is a much needed thread, indeed. Bring us all together, the way it should be.

Willie

[anna_66]

You've said the words I feel, thank you. PT is a wonderful place but at times gets a little tense.
I took a little break and hope that I've come back to a new happier place.
It's a new year, let's try and put up with each others different drums