Giving up on having female friends. *WARNING: rant within*

[CathyBogart]

I give up. I have a total of -ONE- female friend who has not at some point gone PSYCHOTIC and decided to throw away our friendship over some trivial BULL!

Backing up: Last night I went to a going away party for my then-friend. Her parents had left for the night to let her party all night, an she had purchased a goodly amount of alcohol for the occasion. Neither Brian or I drink, but we wanted to see her and our other friends there so we went anyways.

A lot of wierd things happened, and people ended up kissing who shouldn't have. Feelings got hurt, tempers flew, and I left early so as not go get involved.

Today my best friend (MALE) came by to see me and asked why I was so tired. I gave him a brief summary of the events of last night. No harm, right? He is the girl's ex, but that's in the past so I didn't think anything of it.

When I got home this evening, I came online to a nasty IM along the lines of "Thanks for filling Dan in on what happened last night. I know it was bad, but next time tell him to keep it to himself." I was a bit confused, and tried to talk to her, but got no response.

Then she posted on her Livejournal that she's not coming back here after college after all, basically so that she never has to see "any of US" again. The rest of her post basically said that I had made her out to be a promiscuous person. (Which I would not, and she is not!)

I'm sick of this. It's happened twice before that I can think of. None of my guy friends have ever done anything so retarded. I'm sick to death of females and their drama. Last time, I lost my best friend of seven years because she disapproved of the guy I was dating. Excuse me?

I have decided that trying to maintain a relationship with a female is too much stress, so I'm not going to deal with it anymore. I've got one female friend in vegas, and lots online who I'm not close enough to for them to be psycho, and I'll keep it that way. I'm sorry for even having tried, I swore off after last time.

[primabella]

Half of my group of friends are boys. The girl friends I have are not crazy or anything but they do tend to take some things seriously. I like to tease my friend a lot and he never says anything back. I was teasing my girl friend and she took it so badly. Girls are just more sensitive.

I'm sorry you had a rough time. If you are fed up with this girl, then I guess you should stop being friends if fights are likely to happen again. I used to be friends with these girls and we used to have so many fights over dumb things, feelings got hurt, mean things were said, backstabbing, lies, everything. It was not even worth it. Im glad that the friendship ended because I'm happier now.

[lbaker]

20 is a tough age for lots of people, men & women. Don't totally give up yet. Although I must say, I have one nearby "girl friend" who happens to be my daughter-in-law. I've had some unfortunate experiences myself and have "weeded my garden" of several "friends". That's why I love my furkids. I feel very fortunate in having met some REAL friends through PetTalk.

[micki76]

My best friend is male and all my life the majority of my really good friends have been male. I don't get along well with women for the reasons you've stated. I too, have several online female friends, but in "real life" all my close friends are men. Some are gay men, some are straight men, but all are men.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

More then half of my friends are guys. It just seems like I can relate to the girlfiends that I have more though. Of course I also have Molly and Daisy, and PET TALK!

[gini]

I completely agree with Laurie. 20 is a rough time for men and women.

As life goes on you will make many new girlfriends...and you will maintain that friendship with a few and as Laurie said, weed out the rest.

Women can relate to each other in ways that men cannot. As the years go by, you will discover the joys of these friendships.
Don't let this bad experience get you down. A good girlfriend would have telephoned you to discuss any problems......a bit chicken of her to do it via the internet.

Don't waste your valuable time on women who like to indulge in dramoramas!

Find those women that you can laugh with, cry with, shop with, and exchange and share your ideas about life with. It is far more rewarding.

[wolfsoul]

I wish I had some more male friends. I have about 5, and one of them is gay lol. Yet a huge amount of my friends are girls.

I think having a female friend does have it's advantages. Men have no clue about anything we go through. I remember my girl friend showing my guy friend the package that her pad was in. He said he thought it was a package with a wagon wheel snack inside. But then guy friends are fun because you can tell them everything we go through and then laugh at the looks on their faces.

Don't worry too much. I'm sure it's just a short term squabble. Email her and tell her what happened.

[Tonya]

I hear you, Wolf. MOST girls get upset over the stupidest stuff, and then rather then confronting, they generally go behind your back. On the other hand, I can say whatever is on my mind to my guy friends and not worry about them disowning me. I feel like I can have my own opinions and be myself around the guys. If I get into a spat with my guy friends, we are buddies the very next day. Unlike a chick, that will drag it out into a year long drama.

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by wolfsoul
I wish I had some more male friends. I have about 5, and one of them is gay lol. Yet a huge amount of my friends are girls.

I think having a female friend does have it's advantages. Men have no clue about anything we go through. I remember my girl friend showing my guy friend the package that her pad was in. He said he thought it was a package with a wagon wheel snack inside. But then guy friends are fun because you can tell them everything we go through and then laugh at the looks on their faces.

Don't worry too much. I'm sure it's just a short term squabble. Email her and tell her what happened.

LOL! I would never tell a guy that stuff. I'd be to ashamed to. They don't need to know. That's one of the reasons its so easy to talk about things on PT. Because almost everyone here is a girl, and the few guys thankfully don't post in *those* threads.

I have almost all girl friends and I really can't relate to you, because whenever we get in a quarrel, we are friends again the next day. I think girls can relate to each other more, and I personally believe its easier to vent to a girl about things boys would never understand. Its fun talking to girls about practically anything, and having a good laugh over it. Anyway, I love having girls around, and I prefer having them as friends over boys anyday. I guess everyone's just different.

[Chinadoll]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I have only one real close girlfriend. Have many more guy friends. I was never into the rah rah sisterhood cr@p and never wanted to deal with all the time consuming complications that female friends seem to come with.

Yet, with Joey gone, I started to spend more time with one of my really good guy friend and his girlfriend. We started getting together with a couple of the other girlfriends/wives from their Marine Corp unit. I never realized how much fun having a group of girlfriends could be. Never realized how much I missed girltalk and doing typical girly things.

Give it time. For years, I only really had male friends. Maybe one day, you'll meet some girls that you click with. It took me 6 years since high school to fiind another group of girls I could get along with.

[Uabassoon]

I have very few close female friends. I have a lot of friends that are girls, but I'm not very close to them and I don't have much trust in them. Most of my close friends are guys, I know I can trust them with anything. But I've learned the best guys to hang around with are guys who had a lot of sisters because they can relate a lot more. I called up one of my close guy friends a few days ago because I had horrible cramps, he went to the store for me and bought me medicine and supplies. When I thanked him, he said don't worry I used to do this for my sisters all the time and I kind of miss it.

[Kfamr]

I have three very close friends. Two males, One female. I feel I can tell Becky, the female, more than I could ever tell anyone else in the world.

[Soledad]

I think a big mark of maturity is when you come to the realisation that you have to take people on as individuals, and not assume that because they are of a certain gender/social group/religion that they are condemned to act a certain way.

[Tonya]

I think a big mark of maturity is when you come to the realisation that you have to take people on as individuals, and not assume that because they are of a certain gender/social group/religion that they are condemned to act a certain way.

Good point, Soledad. I give everyone an equal chance. But generally speaking, my personality gets along with men better.

[Soledad]

I can understand that, Tonya. But seeing a pattern is different from refusing to befriend someone based on something they can't really control.

I think it's a different thing altogether to just end up having more friends of one persuasion than another, and recognizing that you tend to get along with a certain kind of person.