10 rules for women-

[RICHARD]

10 rules for women –plumbing emergencies

1. Please do not mention a plumbing emergency on a late Friday evening
Hardware stores are packed at that time with people wanting to get a jump on
their weekend projects. According to the Rules of Household Emergencies/
Page 6-An emergency plumbing project will take no less than 2 and no more
than 5 trips to the hardware store. Fire up the Microwave and break out the
paper plates.

2. Do not DEMAND that the leaking/burst pipe be fixed "as soon as possible"
After hour plumbers charge astronomical rates. Remember, the money you save
could be used for something you need. Shoes, vacation, French tip nails…..(aren't
we mad at the French???)

3. Because the kitchen sink is pretty much unusable-DO NOT PANIC.
This could be a chance to try the new Chinese food place that opened
up the block, or the new McDonalds, depending on your financial status.
(see rules #1&2)

4. Do not insist on washing the dirty dishes in any other basin or tub inside
your home.
As much as I love food, the thought of my dishes being done in the bathroom
is distressing. Dirty dishes can wait.

5. Should you call a plumber on Saturday you still may be paying premium rates.
Could your significant other possibly handle the job?
Although your SO may make MORE than three trips to the hardware store to find
part that fit, parts forgotten and parts exchanged, you have to make him feel
important and needed during this time of strife in your household. His blood pressure
is already high and he doesn't need the aggravation. (see rule #6)

6. DO NOT MENTION THE REPEATED TRIPS TO THE HOME CENTER!
This will drive the man insane. you will shred his confidence and question his
ability to make rational judgements while picking up the parts he needs.
1/4 inch is closer to 1/2 inch, plus he was distracted by the young lady in the shorts
trying to pick out a nice faucet for her powder room. The cashier gal was pretty
cute too!

7. As much as YOU need to know the progress of the fix. Do not waltz in every half
hour to remind him that…..
I need to do laundry, when will the water be turned back on?
I need to take shower.
I need to wash the dishes
I need to make some tea.
Think back to the Stone Age! There was no running water. Man and women survived
10 jillion years without indoor plumbing, better yet-go watch television….

8. The severity of the fix is directly proportionate to the amount of cursing
Please remove all pets, children or parrots from the area. Better yet, call the
neighbors and let them know the cursing and pounding they heard was a direct result
of the amount of skin taken off the hands of your SO when he bashes his hand with
the wrench

9. Should the job be completed correctly and with the least amount of hassle, make
your SO feel like a champion. Give him a hug, a cold beer is always welcome, make
him think that he has cured the common cold, make him think he has the half a brain
you questioned when his was screaming at the top of his lungs, THIS G_DD_MN
PIPE! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS TO FIT! YOU PIECE OF……

10. Should none of this work, be prepared to call the plumber.
Never bring up the unfortunate incident again. Never bring it up in a
conversation with friends, "And then I hear this blood curdling scream,
I walk into the kitchen and there he is on the ground, in the fetal position,
sobbing like a baby……."

Ladies,
Men's egos are fragile already, we do not need to be patronized during the emergency.
Actually, save the praise for the ride over to the emergency room for the stitches in that
nasty bleeding head wound he suffered after he pinched the webbing of his hand in the pliers. Real men do plumbing……Actually that should read

REAL MEN TRY TO DO PLUMBING.

[aly]

Where's the fix it ourself option? :P

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by RICHARD
REAL MEN TRY TO DO PLUMBING.

Real men know A) if they can fix it in about an hour B) To call the plumber after that hour is up...

1-10 wouldn't fly in my house!!

[RICHARD]

ouch, such venom!!!

[LoudLou]

Originally posted by RICHARD
...
Ladies,
Men's egos are fragile already, we do not need to be patronized during the emergency.
Actually, save the praise for the ride over to the emergency room for the stitches in that
nasty bleeding head wound he suffered after he pinched the webbing of his hand in the pliers. Real men do plumbing……Actually that should read

REAL MEN TRY TO DO PLUMBING.

Ok, but what happens if the "Roles" are reversed.... In our house my Husband is the one to Immediately call Someone else to fix things... I AM the one to "Try" and fix it first Blue Smoke and all..... I love Kit to pieces but he is not a Mr. Fix-It.... that would be Mrs. Fix-It in our house.... My poor Hubby doesn't really have reference to "Trips to the Emergency Room"... I, However, think I have a Suite named after me there....

[Pam]

Very cute Richard! I am fortunately the "owner" of a hubby who can fix just about anything. That of course is dependent upon the fact that he feels the need. Of course plumbing problems are an emergency so he would rise to the occasion. I have several other odd jobs that have needed his expert hand that have remained undone for YEARS! What is it with men? I think they feel if they respond to our call too quickly they are henpecked?????

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by RICHARD
ouch, such venom!!!

hee hee,,,,I'm sure David could do the smaller things, like stopping the toliet from running. But he's a perfectionist and I can just see it. "Uh oh....I think I cut the wrong pipe!!" Fast forward to seven hours later and "Maybe we should call the plumber?" Nope, not happening....I'd like to save theose seven hours and any money on "accidents".

That's why he's a computer guy and why we have plumbers.

[Dakota's Mommy]

Since we live in government housing if it's something major, I go for calling the maintanence company, especially since Brian's too far away to fix it and I'm not that smart when it comes to plumbing. If I can figure it out and fix it without any trouble, I'll do it. And I've got an expert to get advice from, my Father-in-Law owns his own plumbing business in Florida! Gosh I wish I were closer to our families!

[catland]

Richard - Are your rules from the 1950's?

I know that I've NEVER obsessed about getting the dishes or the laundry done. I'd be more than happy to have an excuse to eat out.

And heck, I don't just compliment my husband on his handy work with sinks and toilets, I compliment him on taking out the garbage.

We both know not to critisize each other on the way household chores are done because that's a real good way to get stuck with the chore all alone.

[tomkatzid]

A water damage at my house is how I met Tom So I know he can fix it

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by tomkatzid
A water damage at my house is how I met Tom So I know he can fix it

SEE!!!!!!

and no one believed it was a love story



catland.

actually the story came from the pipe under my mom's sink giving
away.....she's from the 50's and i watched my dad wrench thru some of the toughest stuff my mom could throw at him.

As usual, it was just a little tongue in cheek look at a few things that i experienced while trying to fill in for Pops..

(i did go to the Home depot three times and to the local hardware once on sunday.....)

i fixed it, it worked and i did not bleed once........

[momoffuzzyfaces]

I vote for none of the above. If it's a clogged drain, I can usually clear that myself. If not, I call the plumber and wash dishes (if it's the kitchen sink) in a dish pan and throw the water A. out the door or B. down the toilet

If it's anything major, I call the landlady first, then the plumber because she panics and makes me do it. In self defense I learned how to change washers on leaky faucets a long time ago when the bath tub started dripping, then leaking, then running like the Missouri River.

[mugsy]

Originally posted by catland
And heck, I don't just compliment my husband on his handy work with sinks and toilets, I compliment him on taking out the garbage.

That reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy skit. He is talking about how women do most things and said that a woman could be outside fixing the concrete on the driveway and the husband walks out and says not to worry about the ashtray in the living room that he had emptied it and that he was going back in to take a nap, and as he turns to go back in the house that she has missed a spot on the driveway! ROFLMAO. I just die when he does that one.


Richard, funny that you would post this since earlier this week I got in the shower and saw that a tile was loose in the shower and bent down to look at it and it fell off. Then, Mike came in pulled a bunch of tile off the way with very little effort and discovered wet, mildewed drywall (not very dry though). I had wondered why we had been sick lately.....guess I know why now. Mike has decided that he is going to tear it all out AND pull out the tub so we can get a whirlpool tub.....YEAH RIGHT! lol Great list though. Btw.....he's going to fix it himself! hehehehe And TRUST ME I WILL be hanging over his shoulder...the thought of having to take a sink bath is just about more than I can handle right now! hehehe

[Barbara]

I voted for "buy a new house"....

Of course I don't talk about stuff like running toilets. I have already fixed so many running toilets in hotel rooms I got into practise

BTW my husband plays the piano really nice

I'd call the plumber rightt away! my hubby is very handy in the garden and he is a good painter too. But.... that's about it!!