Terrified Kitty

[Amanda]

I hope someone has some good advice!

I adopted 2 "rescue kitties" about 2 months ago...long story short, the younger of the two seems absolutely terrified of me. She was a stray kitten found in a parking lot...and when I rescued her she was somewhat tentative but she seems to be more afraid of me now than initially. She adores "her big sister" (ii.e. is comfy around the other cat)...loud noises (like sirens and stuff ) don't bother her so she isn't a "scaredy cat" in general but people really scare her and she hides under the bed most of the time that I am in the house. It breaks my heart that she doesn't "Know" that she will ALWAYS be safe and loved with me...any thoughts or success stories using HUMANE/GENTLE behavior mod or botanicals or meds would be appreciated. THANKS :-)

[moosmom]

Amanda,

Try wrapping her in a towel with her only her head showing and gently pet her, whispering to her. If you can't get her to come out from under the bed, just lay on the floor and give her treats, gently whispering to her and slowly blinking your eyes. This will let her know that she can trust you. Once she knows that you mean her no harm and are her source for food, she'll start trusting you. Try not to scare her by making any sudden moves.

It sounds like she could be semi-feral and possibly abused. It's going to take lots of love and patience, but I guarantee you she will come around.

Feral and semi-feral cats don't trust humans, thanks to irresponsible people who toss cats out like trash. It forces them to fend for themselves and not trust humans.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Lerah021399]

Amanda,

First of all welcome to Pet Talk!

You may want to try to be the only one in a room w/ her for a while. I know that when I got Jack, he was terrified. Partly because he was in a new place, but also because he was never around people before. It took a lot of patience to finally get him to come out from under our computer stand, but he did. I ended up sleeping on the floor in our office the first night we had him and I stayed in the room w/ him all the next day. I didn't try to force him out, I just talked to him gently and laid still looking at him.

I hope that she learns to trust you soon. Keep us posted.

[jenluckenbach]

also, when you do lay on the floor, try the "belly up" postition as it is less threatening.

Kittens that were not handled or not handled properly at a pre-weaning age can become afraid of humans. But this does not mean they cannot learn to trust. But you need to go slow and have endless amounts of patience. But it is very rewarding.

Success story #1: FERN
I do not know her exact background, but I can tell you that it toke her over 4 years to even come to sit on my lap.

Success story #2: WILLOW
He was afraid to even be picked up when I first adopted him. He hid 98 % of the time and now after 2 years he is almost as well adjusted as any other pet. (he still hides from strangers though)

Success story #3: CALVIN
Calvin came from a home and still he was not properly acclimated to people. He only knew 1 man his whoole life. He hid for weeks and would not even eat for his first 5 days here at my home. And even though I still cannot pick him up to hold him, after 1 year he LOVES and ADORES attention and petting. And he does not hide any more.

Your kitty will come around.

[catland]

Hi Amanda - welcome to Pettalk!

You are not the first person here to have this problem.

If you use the search feature, look for the key words "Minnie" and "feral" by Cataholic. You should get some good tips and reassurance from these threads.

[allanimalswelcome]

These all sound like good ideas to me!

~Rachel

[slick]

Welcome to Pet Talk! I've never had the experience before but the ideas presented here seem great. Good luck! Looking forward to some pictures.

[HayleyRosie]

Welcome to Pet Talk. It appears you have some great advise. Good Luck with her. I'm sure in time you will be the best of friends.

I'm with slick. Looking forward to seeing some pictures.

[Amanda]

BIG NEWS!!!! This morning at 9:34 am BOTH kitties jumped in bed with me....Izzy kept an eye on me but both hung out having wonderful "baths" until about 10:00 (when Cleo got interested in something else and left so Izzy followed too)....In any event, I've used a lot or the advice here and am just being patient and she is really coming along! Catnip seems to help too!

Anyway, what a wonderful "Mommy's Day" gift it was for me.

[RedHedd]

Ah yes! Catnip! I had forgotten about how useful it is until I got my two new kids. I "taught" Mitzi to use the scratching post intead of my rugs with that wonder drug. She thought it was her idea, so I'll just let her think that.

[Gina Germ]

This isn't so much advice as a shared experience that might give you some insight into your situation.

Since your kitty was a stray, there's a chance that she was born feral, which would mean that she was born into a family that was no longer reliant on humans directly and therefore timid around them. My female cat, Jezebel, was a feral kitten rescued from below zero weather basically as a newborn. Today she is almost 13 and still very wary of people. She spent her first few years with us basically living under the kitchen table (if ever we approached her, even slowly and very gently, she would run under the table as if for protection.). While now she's much better--she sits near us, and even requests to sit in my lap if I'm sitting on the floor and she feels safe--it did take time. Like your kitty, Jezzy had a sister with whom she felt completely safe, and they played and groomed each other all the time. And Jezebel is quite comfortable showing her place amongst other cats, too. I also used to feel sad about how freigtened she appeared of us and of people in general. I worried a lot about her. But then I did some reading on feral cats, and realized that she's basically wired to be wary/skittish around people. That's helped me understand, and feel better about her hiding behavior, and I've tried to work with it on her terms. If your kitty is in fact feral, time may very well be what she needs to lessen her apprehension.

[Amanda]

Thank you so much for your note because what you describe is EXACTLY the dynamic going on at my house....although in the early am before Izzy goes back under the bed (she comes out most evenings and stays out until I get up) if I approach her slowly she will let me pet her and then she flops over for belly rubs and purrs so she really is coming along. I will do some reading about feral kitties because what you described about feeling badly about how the kitty is feeling is what is the hardest for me ...it just breaks my heart that she lives with fear :-( so I think the info you recommend will help "mommy" feel better at least....And your note touched me for another reason. The kitty I had before these two I had for 19years and adored her ...I had to put her to sleep about a year and a half ago...well anyway, her name was Jesabel and I called her Jessie!!!...how's that for kindred kitty spirits

[Gina Germ]

Not only do we have feral kitties in common, but I also had to put my 11ish year old kitty Lucy (Jezzy's sister) to sleep about a year and a half ago. Lucy had developed Lymphoma, and we took care of her in this condition until it became clear that living was just becoming a struggle for her. I was very close to that little girl, and loved her with all my heart. Both my husband and I were devastated when she passed away, and still miss her tons. So I know what you mean on that front, too.

[RedHedd]

Mitzi was feral before she came to me and she goes back and forth with the fear and hiding. She was getting real friendly before Mishi came aboard; his arrival put a setback on our relationship, but I've done many of the suggestions listed here. She's finally coming around. In fact this morning she woke me up by playing with my feet under the covers. He's being the big bully-wimp, stalking her and then when he spots her, he gazes at her in awe and wonder at her beauty (the appropriate response IMHO ) and then growls, hisses and runs away when she spots him. She looks at him as if to say "you don't know what you're missing, big guy." What a pair! It's a VERY slow process. Don't get discouraged (as I did earlier this week). The PT message boards are helping me alot! Thanks everyone!

[Rhiannon]

All of my cats are feral born and I have seen them display a range of behaviors from overtly friendly to all humans after an initial wariness period that usual lasts less than an hour, to so anti-human that a couple will not come out from hiding if any other human is in the house. I had a house sitter tell me that in the entire week he was taking care of them, he only actually saw 2 of the 5.

Here's my tip for you, which has worked very well with my most timid cats:

When you need to walk close to or by them, do not make eye contact. Just ignore them. After a time, they learn that just because you may walk by them doesn't mean you are going to grab them or anything and they learn to just hold their ground. This is very useful if you don't like steppnig on little feet and tails, or if you object to tripping over them, which I sure do!

The slow blinking tip is very good advise. And playing on the bed while you are lying down is also very good. It puts your face and the kittens' faces at the same level which is more comfortable for them, trust wise.